To leave baby asleep in flat

[flightofthesevenmillionbumblebees]

Was just thinking about this and curious about others thoughts. To be clear (before receiving any abuse) I'm not saying I intend to do this, I was just thinking about it.

Most people are comfortable pottering about their houses and gardens with baby asleep upstairs with a baby monitor on. I live in a small block of flats and need to walk downstairs and through hallway to go to the garden. Was just thinking to myself that I'm perhaps slightly further away from baby than I would be if we lived in a standard 3 bed council place, and I'm a fair bit closer than I would be at my mums house (fairly big house and huge garden). That's in both actual distance as well
as time it takes to walk from location to baby. But for some reason leaving baby in a flat with the baby monitor feels 'wrong' whereas I don't think it would if in the garden of a house.

Why do you think this is?? What makes it different? Obviously there's a 'communal' area between you and the baby which other people have access to, but if your front door is locked then others can't get near baby. I suppose there's the slight risk of getting locked out which you wouldn't have in your own garden. But other than those things, do you think it's actually any different? If so, why?

(Not sure if voting option happens automatically but I'm using the app and can't vote on posts myself so not sure if you'll be able to vote on this, but more interested in people's thoughts about it than a general yabu/yanbu answer anyway)

I left my then baby DS asleep in his cot, whilst I took some rubbish down to the communal refuse area in the basement of the block of flats I lived in (not a high rise, no more than 4 floors). Thought I had my keys with me, shut door, then realised that I had left key in flat (so I locked myself out). It was awful! I phoned my parents (luckily they lived a 5 minute drive) and asked them to come by with the spare key. After that, I was too worried to do anything similar again!!

Comes up periodically. My girl is 6 and for the first time the other week I popped to the shop, with her agreement, across the road and around the corner which took all of 120 seconds.

But even that was a risk. What if I got run over? Highly unlikely of course, and she would have been able to open a window and call for help (we know all our neighbours) should I have been gone longer than agreed.

But as a baby I wouldn't because there would be no way for a baby to get help if anything happened.

@flightofthesevenmillionbumblebees views on this have changed over time. In the old days parents were much more laid back and left kids while going out. I live in block of flats (a development) and we have a shop across the street. Yes I sometimes did go get things when the kids were asleep. Yes million things can happen and go wrong. Statistically though, it is very unlikely they will and you put your child at risk driving to Asda much more than leaving it safely asleep in their bed while doing gardening, having tea or a chat outside. But I think each parent has to make their own decision, I'd not judge parents going either way.

Just don't.

@DogsAndGin 👏

I agree with all of this. I also used to have to take the rubbish down from my second floor flat to a communal bin right outside the front door and I used to check about 50 times that I had my keys before I left the house. There was a shop on the ground floor that I didn't ever dare nip down to at night even though there were times when that would have been really handy. But I can't really articulate why it felt so awful as it would have taken a matter of minutes and looking back it seems a bit silly. Obviously there is the miniscule risk of a fire or some other catastrophic event happening while I am out, but there is also the risk that I might slip in the shower or choke while I'm in the house - so there is always something terrible that MIGHT happen but probably won't.

Just no

I wouldn’t do at in your place. For me it’s a distance plus how easily you can get through this distance (doors, keys, stairs etc) And it’s different for every house. My sister got a relatively big house with a big garden. All doors, turns, staircase and so on made it quite a distance to go through so she preferred not to go to the garden while child was sleeping upstairs (first floor). I could easily sit in my garden even when my child was sleeping on the second floor - it was very quick to go back because the garden was small.

No I wouldn't , it just reminds me of what happened to madeleine mccann . Even now, her parents still don't think / won't admit that they did wrong in leaving their children to sit at the bar - even though it directly resulted in their child being murdered . That's the trouble, it's okay , until it isn't, and by then, it's too late. Honestly not worth the risk OP

Ever been dying for a wee on your way home and you struggle to get your key in the door, door unlocked, you drop the key, you're cursing not doing those kegels enough etc? That's what I imagine it would be like trying to get through a locked door to your child in an emergency.

I go into the garden with the monitor, I'd nip to the car but all doors are open and I'm only about 10 seconds away. I would risk anything further and I'm pretty laid back about most things.

No way. People always said oh what if there's a fire etc and you think well there's never been one so far.

But we lived on the same road as the family who was in the news a week before Christmas. Where 4 kids died from a fire and the mum was out "at the shops" so I just couldn't risk it. It happened too quick I walked past it ten minutes whilst it was ablaze and it was all contained inside you wouldn't of known.

No I wouldn't , it just reminds me of what happened to madeleine mccann

It's nothing like that whatsoever. 🙄

When Ds was a baby I lived in a third floor flat with no lift. When I had too many things to carry I would take him up and put him in his cot and then run down and get the shopping etc. I would leave my flat door open.

The bins also had to go out at night, so I would run down with them when he was asleep. I always took my keys in case the doors slammed behind me.

😂😂