Tell me about you DC’s age gap

[Kirsty97x]

Mummy to my first baby who’s 6mo! I’ve been so lucky with a fantastic pregnancy, birth and start to motherhood :)

I do want a 2nd but I’m not sure when! My mind constantly goes between have them close together or have them 3+ years apart?

Just wondering what everyone’s experiences are?

Mine are 4 and a hslf so I had 1 at nursery just about ready for school. It worked well I knew I couldn't do a baby and toddler.

Mine are 3 years and 2 months. Worked well for me as oldest was potty trained and starting pre school when baby was born. They get on now but are boy and girl with different interests so don’t always play together unless it’s wrestling 😂 i would have liked them a bit closer together but couldn’t afford 2 in nursery.

There’s 22 months between mine. They’re 18 and 16 now and still get on which is good 😃

I found when DD was born that she fitted in with DS as she had to. I’ve never really hadn’t issues with them - think I’ve been lucky.

Mine are 2.5 years apart. It was quite intense when they were both little. DC1 was a very challenging toddler and DC2 was a very unsettled baby. There was a lot of screaming and crying. They both needed me physically. But! They’ve always been super close and playmates for each other. Some of this I’m sure is down to personality mix but I have a lot of friends with bigger age gaps who struggle because their children don’t have any interests in common and don’t play together. I wouldn’t have wanted to have them any closer together either because the workload would have been even more intense and they would have been closer in school years which can work out stressful in exam years and expensive during the university years!!

I have an 18 month gap and a 3 year gap. I prefer the small gap. 3 years can feel very large at times. But personality plays a big part. DC2 is very easy going which helps a lot. The eldest and youngest are much more intense and an 18 month gap between them would have been hell. As it is the 4.5 year gap between them makes the eldest more sensible and accommodating.

2 years ten months. I think probably the baby phase with DD2 was easier for having a (slightly) more independent, toilet trained three year old who was on the cusp of being able to be reasonable! I think of DD1 at 18-24 months and adding a baby onto that would have been HARD. But she also would have been a lot more independent/reasonable if she'd been a bit older! And there's been a long phase of them being quite incompatible in terms of playing - a neat, precise little 4/5 year old with a chaotic toddler is not an easy mix! That's partly personality, but they are only just aligning in terms of timetable, and their wants and needs are still quite different.

No regrets, but I think either a smaller or larger gap would have been easier! Perhaps it's just as grass is always greener situation, but I think a short period of chaos followed by kids with similar needs or a pre-school/school age child and baby would have been easier!

I have 4.5 yrs between the older 2.
New relationship seen a 7 yr gap between #2 &#3 & then a 2.5yr gap between 3 & 4.
Current ages 18.5yrs 14yrs, 7yrs & 4.5yrs.

I’m pregnant with number two and have a nearly two year old. My pregnancy was fine the first time, this time I have dreadful sickness and it’s pretty tiring trying to not vomit and the irrational toddler tantrums 😅

20 months between the first two and 30 months between the second and third.

There was actually quite a big difference when I compare the two, my 20 month only walked at 18 months and couldn't talk at all when I had my second child. The whole thing was really quite tough, although my second was a really difficult baby which might have been the real reason.

When number three came along my second was 30 months, he could walk and talk and didn't nap anymore himself and it was all a lot easier.

I couldn't change it obviously, and I'm not sure I would anyway, but I'd recommend and two years or more difference, just in case you get a challenging baby!

5 year between. Lovely qge gap. Quality time with baby while elder is at school, then quality time with her when baby is asleep. They adore each other now, during the first few months there was jealousy but it's just getting better and better the more the baby communicates with her.

I have a 2.5 year gap and a 4.5 year gap.

I know women who have had 3 kids in the 4 years between when I had my 2nd and 3rd 😄

There are pros and cons to all gaps! I am LOVING the 4.5 year gaps as the older ones are so helpful and can entertain themselves , and in September the 2nd born will start school so I will have the baby only mon-Fri term time so lots of lovely 1:1 baby time.

2.5 gap was fine, pretty standard, lovely sweet moments with ‘big brother’ first born still being adorably small but doing grown up big brother stuff 😍😍 adorbs. Potty training oldest with a newborn was fine. The first born baby days are still a fresh memory so you’re still in that mindframe when the second comes along.

Family friend had 4 in 4 years and again seems to be loving it.

I was reading the other day you should have 5 years between kids (I think it was an Inuit tradition) so you can focus totally on that baby for the whole first 5 years.

Theres no right way, so you can’t get it wrong 😃

I quite liked a three year gap. Mine turned out to be a total monster and I think any smaller would have broken me, it nearly did anyway! The trouble with TTC with a baby is you have no idea if they'll be an absolute dream or a total pain so I'd plan for the smallest gap you can survive with both being terrors...

15 years apart!

I have two daughters, 6 years and nearly 1. It hadn’t been my intention to have a 5 year age gap, but conceiving DD2 took longer than expected. However it’s working out well so far, DD1 is more independent and understanding, I get one on one time with both of them, don’t have the cost of two sets of nursery fees. DD1 also really loves playing with her little sister, and I hope that will continue as they grow up.

On the minus side, the broken sleep hits harder (I’m 40), it’s tough balancing everyone’s different needs, you have to decide whether it’s worth hanging onto hand me downs, and it does feel like the early years stage really drags out.

There’s no right way to do it, whatever gap you end up with has pluses and minuses. You just have to make the best of it!

I’ve a 3 1/2 year old and a 15 month old. They get on like a house on fire and so far haven’t been too problematic

if we did it again though we would definitely wait until our eldest was in school so only have one set of childcare fees at a time though because even with funded hours for the eldest, those fees are killer!

I did it 14 years apart. Was great actually ! No double childcare/wrap around fees.

There's an 8 years and 3 months gap between my two. Which was a lot larger gap than we'd hoped for, but it's worked out well. As a PP said, I got quality time with my youngest as a baby/toddler whilst my oldest was at school, then she and I could spend time together once he'd gone down for naps/the night once she was home again. I had second-child-infertility, though, lost a baby when my oldest was 4 as a late-stage miscarriage, and lost my son's twin at 9 weeks. Him being here is a miracle in and of itself, really, and now that she's 26, my daughter is appreciative of the age gap between them and everything my ex and I went through to have her little brother (he's a foot and spare change taller than her).

I know she's hoping to start her own family within the next few years, and has said she'd aim for a 4 to 5 year gap between, so that each baby gets quality one-on-one time with a Mum who's not struggling through sleep deprivation, PND or breast feeding issues until they're old enough to entertain themselves for a short while.

A lot depends on personality. Mine are almost exactly 2 years apart which is fairly close. They are like chalk and cheese though so do clash. Sometimes they play together so nicely and I'm pleased they're close in age as they share some interests. Other times it's like world war 3. I know children with a big age gap who are best friends - and also children with a big age gap who have no interest in each other. 8 have 2 siblings. One is 2 years younger and one is 16 years younger!! I'm very close to both.

7 years between my two. Absolutely perfect. She still young enough to play, but old enough to help out, amuse herself when I’m and to understand why I can’t give her my undecided attention all the time. I get the days with my baby when she’s at school and then I get the evenings with her while baby is asleep. If we decide to have another, we will wait until baby is at school so we can do the same thing.

I have 21 months between my 2. The oldest is nearly 3 and the youngest 13 months. I love having a small age gap. It's been hard at times. But watching them play and their relationship build is amazing

12 months between mine, it's been hard but doable, as I think every gap would be. We didn't plan it this way but I wouldn't change it for anything.

I had my 6th when my oldest was 8.5.
first gap 14 months and last gap 15 months the others were just under 2 year gaps.

2.5 years. It's worked well, they get on reasonably well. When they were about 3 & 5 til about 7 & 9, they would go off together for hours and entertain each other brilliantly. Now (10 & 12) they get bored more easily if each other and not into imaginative games as much but still entertain each other well on holidays. They share similar interests in books, music, TV so that's a good thing about them being relatively close in age.

22 month gap between my two. I really struggled being pregnant with a toddler. Had bad sickness and was exhausted. The first couple of months after baby was born was tough! Baby had reflux and toddler took some time to adjust. I sometimes feel guilty about having to split my time when they are both so young but I love that they will get to grow up together. Now 7mo and 29mo and really enjoying this stage.

16 months between mine. It was tough (particularly so as DH died before the baby’s first birthday) but it got all the sleepless nights and nappies out of the way in one fell swoop. They played together a lot, and liked the same age appropriate outings, books, games etc.
It was only tricky when they were graduating uni 250 miles away from each other, and I had to dash between two ceremonies.