Tell me about you DC’s age gap

[Kirsty97x]

Mummy to my first baby who’s 6mo! I’ve been so lucky with a fantastic pregnancy, birth and start to motherhood :)

I do want a 2nd but I’m not sure when! My mind constantly goes between have them close together or have them 3+ years apart?

Just wondering what everyone’s experiences are?

13 months between them. Not planned. The first year was a feat of endurance with 2 babies with vastly different needs. It got better and better as they got older. In hindsight it wasn't such a bad thing, they're both girls, generally share the same interests and are very very close still in their 20's.

10 years. Don't do it!

2.5 years. DC1 was fairly independent then - potty trained, in a bed, out of Highchair and mostly buggy, could talk v well - but emotionally still a baby and needed me a lot. He was very jealous and I found the first year really tough trying to split my attention. The fact it all happened in covid and had no childcare for DC1 made it worse! So as long as you don’t have a baby in lockdown it will be fine…

I think it depends on the personality of your babies/ kids and how you as a mum find different stages. I always find little ones really easy but struggled when they couldn't communicate but could leg it. I love older preschoolers who can talk, toilet and are generally a lot of fun.

I have 3dc - current ages are: 6.8, 4.2 and 2.4.

My eldest prefers his own company but quite like none mobile babies and fussing over them. He's not keen on toddlers.... or other kids. He loves reading, science and quiet afternoons creating mazes or playing with puzzles. We had a 2.6 year gap between him and my second dc...I think my eldest would of benefited with a larger gap in hindsight. He needed a lot more emotional investment and support navigating nursery and generally becoming a independent toddler and with a new baby It was tricky in patches.

He's adored by dc2 though . We had a much shorter and unexpected gap between dc2 and 3. But they get on incredibly well - dc2 is very laid back, easy going and loves everyone and everything....dc3 is also easy going and socialable - they both play really well together and their bond is wonderful to watch . I've found the gap between my second and third easier than the first- but I think having experience and knowing what to expect helped.

Whatever gap you go for you'll manage and you'll get through it.

Best of luck xxx

3yrs 8 months between mine. The oldest was quite independent (a lot to do with his personality ) which was a good thing as the youngest wasn’t well as a baby, though fine now. They had very different personalities and interests and really didn’t play together much at all, the eldest spent most of his time doing sport out of the house throughout primary and secondary, the youngest liked playing with friends at home. They didn’t argue much though, occasional fight but no actual issues. Outings and holidays were a bit tricky as they wanted to do different things so we compromised a lot, but they were fine with that. They are 19 and 15 now and probably talk to each other more than they have ever done before!

Mine are 5 yrs, almost 6 apart as I wanted to dedicate my time to my daughter before I had another, so waited until she started school. Son born when she was 5 and they are so close. Always have been.
She's currently his taxi as they're almost 18 and 23 now. She buys him stuff. It's lovely. She bought him an I watch when he got great gcse grades.
They go out for dinner as foursome with their boyfriends/girlfriends. They never fought. They play fighted but that was all.
She bossed him around a bit until he got taller than her! He loved spending time with his sisters friends when he was a young teen and they were in the house.
They adore each other and are great friends. My sons girlfriend (of a year) is friends with my daughter and my daughters boyfriend is friends with my son.
On the other hand, my neice and nephew are 2.5yrs apart and hardly see each other, only family gatherings.
My sister and I are 18mths apart, got on well as young children. Hated each other as older children/teens.
Close again now in our 50s!

I've read loads of these threads now and they always lead to the same conclusion: that basically whether or not your kids get on/ grow up to be close etc has nothing to do with how close they are in age (unless of course you're talking like 10 years or something) and everything to do with a) personality/temperament and b) how they were parented.

So, basically, it comes down to what you want and when it would make sense for your family. Personally I couldn't have done the baby plus young toddler thing so had a second when my eldest was just starting preschool and it was great her being that bit older so I could explain/reason a bit more with her. They love each other now (5 and nearly 2) but sparks fly when youngest tries to get involved with eldest's craft/drawing/writing etc. Hopefully in a couple of years it'll settle down a bit!

3 and half years. I would have preferred 3 years ideally, but I had a loss between which would have been a 2 and half year age gap which I was bit worried about.

For me my DS started school when my mat leave ended for DD. So I'm a way it also depends on your life and when your kids are born in the school year. DS youngest in year so went ti school just turned 4. I do think having them close they have each other, but I personally found the sleep deprivation too hard to do that.