Help, 3.5 keeps bed wetting but won't wear pull ups

[Needaholidayplease]

Help im knackered! Ds has been dry in the day since just after 2 years, but not night. For the past few weeks he's refused to wear pull ups at night so we've been sneaking them on him when he's asleep. But every time he wees he pulls it off, and it wakes him up.
So we thought fine, we'll try night training, but it's been a disaster! Minimum two wakes a night with a wet bed, and running out of sheets! We've been trying to reduce his liquids in the eve and have been lifting him onto the toilet for a wee when we go to bed, but he still just seems to have so much night time wee in him!
Where are we going wrong? Would happily go back to pull ups if he'd let us, but that leads to as many wake ups when he wees and pulls them off, and then wets the bed again. I just want a full night's sleep!
Any one had this problem and what's the answer? Thanks!

Following, my daughter is still not dry at night she’s my latest one to not be dry, she is refusing to wear nappies to bed as well and it’s a nightmare putting them on as she refuses but also refuses to use the toilet before bed, like you I sneak them on but sometimes find she’s woken up and taken it off!

The problem here is that it could be years before he's dry at night - it's purely hormonal and you can't train it. So he needs to get used to wearing pull-ups. Bribery maybe?

Some children are not dry at night until they are six or seven. It’s a physical thing and trying to help a child to be dry before they are ready won’t work.
Dont reduce fluids it’s not good for a child’s health.
Your problem is a behavioural problem
and not toilet training .
You need to sit down in the day and explain firmly that he is not to remove pull ups at night. At three and half he is old enough to understand. You need consequences if he doesn’t do this. Maybe a sticker chart .

I agree with making him wear them with bribes and consequences if he takes them off. I’d also use the disposable bed pads while you’re trying to get him to wear them and keep them on.

What is he sleeping in besides the nappy? Can you get some poppered vests (h&m do them in older ages I think) or onsie? Agree with Lovely, you need to tackle the "bad" behaviour of him taking them off when he shouldn't be. If he doesn't like sleeping in it wet, he needs to wake you up but he must go back to bed with no nappy on

www.eric.org.uk/
This charity has useful information re bedwetting

There are absorbent waterproof sheets which go on top of normal bedsheets. They are about a metre square, with a layer of rubber in the middle and a layer of soft cotton either side.
Could you start the night with 3 or 4 of them on the bed, then when he wets he can just sleepily push the wet sheet off the bed and go back to sleep.

I suppose he would need to just wear a PJ top, not bottoms. And with him being a boy, I'm not sure if the duvet gets wet too!
And as he's still so little, would he push the wet sheet away or just shout for you?
But hopefully it helps.

if He’s waking up to wee maybe he just can’t be bothered to get up? Have you got a potty next to his bed ? Could try and keep telling him to wee in there ? I feel like it’s wrong to force a pull up on him if he doesn’t want it. Can’t you get a couple of waterproof duvet protector and loads of bed mats? You can layer them up - pads then sheet then another pad and sheet so you can just strip that off. He might just get the hang of it soon , he must not like feeling wet if it’s waking him up.

Two of my DC were 10 before they were dry at night and the other was 5.All dry in the day at 2-3.
I feel for you ,messing around with wet sheets in the night is xxx a C pain.
It could be years before your DC is dry so I agree that your DS has to change their behaviour.I don't think I would be restricting fluids but I would persuade ( bribe? ) them to wear a nappy of some sort even if it is with clothes over the top .I would also do the obvious make the bed with three sets of sheets,waterproof sheets etc.He is probably a bit young to get involved in the bed making process .

@yikesanotherbooboo

10?? without sen? Could that not be because your continually putting on pull ups so they know they can wee in there without having to get up? Why does everyone say it’s going to take years? Maybe in some cases but I don’t think it’s that common? My son was dry at night at two and a half and I’m not bragging I’m just saying that it doesn’t necessarily take years I just think putting a pull up on isn’t helpful , yes it is partly hormonal but you need to teach them to go to the toilet or potty when they wake up to wee. Also removing the pull up and not wanting to wear one is a sign of readiness to try for night time, you can’t force them to wear one. There’s also nothing wrong with restricting drinks two hours before bed you don’t have to say no to drinks you just give them small amounts and always make sure they do a wee right before sleep - turning the tap on helps.

@Rolo1403
No sen and not because they were being put in nappies.
Just the way they developed.
DC1 stopped at 5 .we had thought they might be dry or possibly were weeing on wake up a few times and gave nappy off decent tries before this.
With DC2 they were obviously just sleeping deeply through any signals.They would have spells of dry nights but as soon as school started and they were tired again would not wake.It became much better in year 6 and was no longer an issue in year 7.it isn't unusual; some people seek medical solutions but in the case of a well child with normal development who was dry in the day earlier than their peers I preferred to wait it out.in most year 6 classes there will be up to 5 DC who are not regularly dry at night.
When my third child was the same I just waited .

Thanks for all your suggestions. He's got a potty by his bed but just doesn't seem to be able to wake up in time to use it (plus reintroducing the potty after all this time using the toilet is confusing in itself!)

I'm caught between thinking he's ready to train (eg the pulling off nappy when he clearly knows he's wet and being pissed off by it) but also not wanting to force it if he's not ready. Plus I've read conflicting advice on whether to lift them onto the toilet if they're asleep, so don't know if we're helping or hindering with that.

Maybe some sort of pad thing might be worth a go as a halfway house between pulls and nothing.

I'm just always surprised at how much wee he has left in him for the middle of the night! Even after a 10pm toilet lift, he seems to still be able to go once or twice at least. Which makes me wonder whether he's drinking too much late on and/or just not physically ready for it yet.

Agh, what a faff! Very sleep deprived which is making it seem more of a hassle than it should be

My DS is nearly 8 and does exactly the same, wets the bed every night and has refused pull ups for two years. The daily washing of bedding including the duvet and pillow is driving me scatty.

The ERIC website is very good, discusses different reasons for nighttime wetting and how to spot which is applicable to your child. We're now encouraging a lot more volume of water in the day and restricting fluid for an hour before bed, advice from the website. DS doesn't wake to wee so it's harder in that respect.

Plus I've read conflicting advice on whether to lift them onto the toilet if they're asleep, so don't know if we're helping or hindering with that.

You need to wake them up and make them know they are going to the toilet otherwise they won't know that they have to go to toilet at night. (Some younger members of my family had this issue and so did my SC. Making sure they knew they went to toilet at night helped stop them bed wetting. )

Anyway OP he's not ready to be stop wearing pull ups at night.

We tried with our DD in January, who is now the same age. It didn't work so she went back to pull ups. She has now been dry at night every night plus will get herself up to go to the potty/toilet at night. So I told her in June when she doesn't need a duvet we will try again.

You are going to have to bribe him to keep them on. Also worth getting him a different brand and telling him its a big boy brand rather than one for babies. (You can just get a different supermarket brand.) Only when he is consistently dry at night in his pull ups try him again without them.

Do you have a medical or a childcare background?
I don’t expect you do . It’s very common for children not to be dry at night for several years . Often it can be a genetic thing , when the body is ready . You have based your advice on your own child , not very scientific advice . Trying to get a child to be dry before they are ready can cause long term problems and is cruel for the child . Yes by all means give it a go if they are keen but if not working back to pull ups and leave it for six months . When the pull ups are dry in the morning is the time to try.
I’m a nanny and have toilet trained dozens of children with success.

@Lovelyicecreams I’m also a nanny ofsted registered thanks though. Yes it would be cruel to force a child to night time train when very young and not ready but this one is unwilling to wear pull ups anymore and that would cruel to force them on. I think it’s ok to give a gentle nudge and letting them feel they are wet rather than going in a nappy this might get them in the habit of using the toilet in the night. Especially when people are talking about children at the age of 10 still in nappy’s.

My son is 7in jy abd only just dry at night despite being reliably dry in the day since day 3 of potty training at 2 5. You need to persevere with the pull ups.!

Sorry with all due respect , I don’t believe you . Why? because you added Ofsted Registered , says all you need to say . Ofsted Registered just means Ofsted has checked a nanny has insurance, First aid and a basic childcare qualification. Most nannies have this .
Ofsted Registered nanny’s are not superior- it’s just a way of middle income families getting help with childcare costs.
There is no benefit to the nanny . Have you maybe employed a nanny ?
And yes taking a pull up off might indicate a child is ready, if they are not wetting the bed and pull up is dry every morning . But pulling the pull up off just indicates a behaviour problem .
Tips here for dry at night. If this mum give it another 3-6 months the child may be ready.

www.eric.org.uk/blog/top-10-tips-for-night-time-dryness

Excuse me who do you think you are ? I mentioned I’m ofsted registered because I am and I’ve paid for that myself and it’s helped me gain work so actually it is beneficial to me. I never implied I was superior I just stated my job role , most nannies might have first aid etc but being ofsted registered shows you’ve been professionally checked out and had medical checks etc.
Why would I lie about that how weird …lol I don’t really care about your opinion on toilet training, all I have done is give mine and you seem to be very offended.

@Lovelyicecreams

Nannies don’t have medical checks to be registered . You are a childminder.

@Lovelyicecreams I’m not a childminder I’m a nanny 😂😂 shall I send you my certificate?!

Nannies don’t require a medical to be Ofsted Registered . So sorry I don’t believe you .

@Lovelyicecreams I don’t care I don’t need to prove myself to you 😂😂😂

Puppy pads sellotaped together or waterproof mattress protector