Help! my neighbours keep calling social services on us

[Nokita]

hi everyone,
I'm a mum to a little girl who is almost two. She has been theeting (terrible pain) and been sick quite often from a couple of months. besides this we been asked by her dietitian to reduce night feeds what end up in tantrums in the middle of the night. We moved to a family neighbourhood 8 months ago and has been everything fine but we have new neighbours downstairs and since they moved in we have almost every two weeks a complain to social services and children protection services.
At first they led an investigation and closed it soon after as there was no worries (off course!). we spoke with dietitian and health visitor after the first complaint and agreed for the sake of no one complaining about the crying we would keep going with night feeds and reduce the crying.
still, we keep beeing reported and I start to live in fear, fear that my baby cries and we have another complain. this is affecting our family so much. She started to sleep in our bed, doesnt fall asleep if one of us is not there cuddling her. she understood that playing tantrums will get what she wants and we gave in just to stop her crying.
social services just told me to not worry as it's normal a baby cry specially with her conditions.
is there anything you would advise. how to find a balance between the crying, parenting and not disturbing the neighbours.

thank you so much

You say she's crying to get what she wants - thats part of communication. What is it she wants?

Is it mainly the milk at night? Is it comfort /closeness while she is pain?

Is there another way to meet her need at all. Chew toys at night? Water in bottle or diluting milk gradually etc? Im sure you've probably tried all these just thinking through if there's another way to comfort her.

We had my youngest in our room for a while on a makeshift bed on the floor (older than yours though) as she went through a phase of night anxiety. This helped and she slept through which meant it was the least worst option for us all for a while and didn't last forever.

Is she in a cot? Will it fit in your room if cosleeping is causing a problem for you (I know it works for a lot of people and can be a solution but it doesn't for everyone.)

We had a non sleeper and ot felt we tried everything - she wasnt one for a "little cry and back to sleep" so we found ways to comfort. It turned out in our case to be sleep apnea (huge adenoids and tonsils) so she was waking terrified each time. 2 weeks after the Op at 3.5 she slept through fine which in retrospect showed us she just needed comfort. We didn't know that at the time though and questioned/tried eveything!

@Vintagecreamandcottagepie

The reason mumsnetters have the terrible reputation they have 😂

The behaviour would need to be classed as anti social in order to evict them legally. Lots of tenants make noise you can’t just evict people because one neighbour doesn’t like noise the other is making

As hard as this is I would start to to put these neighbours at the back of your mind. You have done all you can do to reduce noise, you can hear them as well and the oddness of going to as multiple times rather than the landlord for normal baby crying means you won’t be able to be reasonable with them, as they are obviously not reasonable. I live in a flat, and part of it other peoples noise.
In fact, I am a petty person so would probably start a jump intensive exercise routine, start running the washing machine when it is convenient for me ie early morning and see if ss takes these complaints seriously!