Help! my neighbours keep calling social services on us

[Nokita]

hi everyone,
I'm a mum to a little girl who is almost two. She has been theeting (terrible pain) and been sick quite often from a couple of months. besides this we been asked by her dietitian to reduce night feeds what end up in tantrums in the middle of the night. We moved to a family neighbourhood 8 months ago and has been everything fine but we have new neighbours downstairs and since they moved in we have almost every two weeks a complain to social services and children protection services.
At first they led an investigation and closed it soon after as there was no worries (off course!). we spoke with dietitian and health visitor after the first complaint and agreed for the sake of no one complaining about the crying we would keep going with night feeds and reduce the crying.
still, we keep beeing reported and I start to live in fear, fear that my baby cries and we have another complain. this is affecting our family so much. She started to sleep in our bed, doesnt fall asleep if one of us is not there cuddling her. she understood that playing tantrums will get what she wants and we gave in just to stop her crying.
social services just told me to not worry as it's normal a baby cry specially with her conditions.
is there anything you would advise. how to find a balance between the crying, parenting and not disturbing the neighbours.

thank you so much

If its been proved over and over again that ss have no concerns then call 101 and report it as harassment to the police. They are commiting harrassmant via professionals

i don’t think they are twats. They are concerned about a baby always crying. It’s called safeguarding. It’s also annoying if you have to get up to go to work and are being kept awake by a baby. It’s distressing to hear a baby always crying.

however why doesn’t the OP wrote a note to her neighbours explaining what the issue is and apologise for the crying. Or even pop down with a box of chocolates. Not everyone likes to hear a baby crying.

Is OP sure it’s tbat set of neighbours? I thought SS didn’t disclose who had made the complaint?

I wish this was true but unfortunately there are many other things they've done towards us and it house before she started making noise so I know it's far from having our best interests at heart!!

They are using SS as a tool to harass their neighbors and are using your child’s medical condition as an excuse to bully you. I would gather as much evidence as I could and sue them for harassment. Not only for yourself and your family but for all the families who desperately need help from SS and are not getting it because this type of lowlife scum is deliberately wasting public funds to harass their neighbors.

They arnt concerned neighbours they are spiteful and nasty

What, they would be evicted because this poor child is teething and has other health issues? Don’t think so!

They have a small child who is teething. It’s so painful, plus other health issues. The mum and dad are clearly doing everything to ease its discomfort. What more can they do to quieten her down when she is in so much distress and pain? What more can they do in this situation? They are trying their hardest to ease the situation but are probably really stressing over this and this is made worse by the malicious dick head neighbours who have no empathy or sympathy for the situation.

OP you have my sympathy on this. Teething can be horrendous at the best of times. Just hang on in there as this will pass. Hope your little girl starts feeling better soon.

What, they would be evicted because this poor child is teething and has other health issues? Don’t think so!

If the landlord gets lots of complaints he might want less troublesome tenants.

@Applebeee just because someone makes a complaint to social services or the police it honestly doesn't mean they're doing it genuinely unfortunately. Something I've learnt. It also doesn't mean they're telling the truth either. It's awful

And it doesn't always mean the noise is too much.

the neighbours are able to take action to reduce the noise they hear. Good quality ear plugs (if they can afford it you can get audiologists to make ones as a fit for your own ears, if not, Boots wax ear plugs are good ) with cushioned ear protectors over the top (about £16 from amazon) will drown out a jumbo jet flying two foot above your house!

Doubt it! Can you imagine the uproar if they got chucked out because the baby was crying. Don’t think its even legal in this circumstance.

Doubt it! Can you imagine the uproar if they got chucked out because the baby was crying.

Families get evicted for all sorts of reasons. Do you think their should be a ban on evicting families because the landlord wants to sell or put up the rent? What would happen then is that no one would rent to families, or they'd charge a higher rent to families.

I would move. The neighbours are
nasty and vindictive and even if you were completely quiet they would
probably still find something to moan and fight about. X

Ask the landlord if they woukd be open to a break agreement due to the circumstances they might agree to it just to shut the neighbours up

as is impossible to reply individually.

yes, we spoke different times with all the neigbours around about our situation, speacially after the first call. we didnt mentioned any complain to SS but we mention HV visits and follow ups.

SS done a first full investigation including house visit, parents interview, childcare interview. All medical records were checked since she born and also all reports for childcare were taken in consideration. Second time they follow up the dietitian appointment that happened between both complains and closed the case. Follow complaints I just been informed.

SS cant tell me who it was, they just told me is the same person.

we only think is the new neighbours as for this months we live here and she been sick quite a few times no one complaint. inclusive we had neighbours just asking if she was ok.
Also, from all the conversations we had around they were the less understanding.

soundproofing the floor of the flat ourselves is not something we can afford.

our landlord is not keen to change our contract as on his own words "is their problem". as we are not breaching any contract with him he couldn't care less

I understand

It's really distressing. Even though you've done nothing wrong

Bloody hell.

I was always living in fear that would happen to us, with the amount of crying one of ours did! They clearly don't have kids, do they? Or maybe one little angel 😇

As if it isn't stressful enough. Of course you would stop them crying if you could, no parent enjoys hearing that!

Please try not to worry, social services totally understand, they've said so.

It will get better as your lo gets older, hang in there 💐

Good your landlord understands too.

The only one with a problem is them.

As if you have to soundproof your floor, what a ridiculous comment

'Less troublesome tenants'?

Bringing up a child makes you trouble?

1 year olds make noise. Shall we send them to Siberia until they're 4? Ffs.

At nearly 2 ds was lanching himself out of his cot so we switched him to a low single bed with a guard rail and a safety gate on his bedroom door.

If he was unsettled he could come in to sleep with me or dh and one of us would use his single bed so we all got a good sleep. We didnt have ndns complaining, but it kept us sane! He learned to go back to sleep firstly without milk and eventually without cuddles.

This will pass OP — children develop and their behaviours change. The main thing, the most important thing, is that you continue to empathise with your DD and do not let stress about the neighbours cause you to become impatient with her.
Follow the advice from your health professionals and manage your DDs tantrums sensibly. Try not to feel you need to do anything just to keep her quiet because in the long run she’ll learn that she’ll get her own way by making a noise.
It sounds like the poor little mite is having a hard time with her teeth.
Go easy on yourself OP and good luck

@Blanketpolicy I'll definitely try this!
hopefully she will feel she can reach us anytime. thank you

@Cindie943811A we noticed she starts already to realize that if she cries she will get what she wants. the fake cry is a real thing.
thank you for your words.

It’s such an awkward situation because on one hand it’s a crying child which is inevitable when they are babies/toddlers & it won’t be forever, you’re not deliberately causing her to cry to annoy the neighbours but on the other hand it’s so frustrating when you have noisy neighbours, I can testify to that when our neighbours dog wouldn’t stop barking all day (I know that is a completely different set of circumstances and am in no way comparing your child to my neighbours dog!) I suspect the neighbours know that landlord/council won’t take much action against behaviour that is not considered anti social such as children crying so they opt to call SS in an attempt to frighten you into stopping her crying which is impossible! I personally would go and speak directly to them and ask them why they keep calling SS although I know that’s probably not a popular opinion