Controlled crying

[nurserychoices]

I created a thread this morning - i thought i had asked Mumsnet HQ to delete a message but it turned out that i had asked them to delete the entire thread instead!

I have a 9 month old, doesn't sleep well and never has been. Wakes up every 1.5 to 2 hours every night and currently breastfed to sleep (sleeps in the cot at night). Naps are on me. Bedtime routine is bath, story, boob bed. baby is dependent on boob to fall alseep at bedtime and during night wakes.

Thanks to those who answered my questions this morning, For those where CC was successful,

• what was your bedtime routine, and if your baby fell to sleep on the boob/bottle, did you wake him up before putting down in the cot.
• did you do cc for both nights and naps, and if yes, did you basically not go to baby groups/ out because of the nap times?
• did you have the exact same routine during bedtime and naps?
• how did you wean off the feed to sleep association?

Thank you all!

Thank you @LabradorFiasco !! I brought bedtime forward last night as the 3rd was not happening! He sleep for 3 hours initially woke up crying, I did cc but only 3,5, 5 ( hy that point he was still crying and I gave in again!), fed him and he slept till 4 from 11.20pm. I fed him again at 4 and then he slept till half 6 at which point he was awake in the cot but calm which meant to me he was awake for the day. This is still so much better then the 2 hourly wakes we have been having.

I agree with nerves of steel, I always start with the intention to continue but the cries ( and he says mama now!!) So difficult. I will try again tonight and keep going. 😬

Hi OP, how are you getting on? I’m trying to work up the nerves to start… getting to the point with my 12 month old that nothing is working - he cries even when being fed, rocked, cuddled when he wakes in the night. Hope you’ve made some good progress and can provide inspiration!

I’ve discovered my new favourite part of having done the sleep training - I’m currently sat at the airport and I needed the baby to nap before the flight - I literally put her in the buggy faced her against the wall and she cried for a minute and then went to sleep no problem - i used to have to wheel her round and put such effort into it and now it’s easy as she can self settle 🥰

@Snowflake884 afraid I am still in the middle of it. I tried it last week, but she was crying so much that I ended up feeding her. But afterwards she slept for 8 hours straight!! I am restarting it this week , and at the same time am bringing the last feed before bath as suggested above.

I also had other reasons why we had to stop - he was getting sick so it was so so difficult. but am starting again times week with shorter intervals, I don't want to leave it longer than 5 mins before checking now. I hate having to do this but I am also at breaking point. If this doesn't work I will get a sleep consultant.

@nurserychoices how's it going? Also you referred to your child as a boy and a girl? Maybe get Mumsnet to remove a post?

In the daytime feed to drowsy. Don't let baby fall asleep. Then put him in his bed and leave the room for 6 minutes. Go in and feed to drowsy. Put him in bed and leave for 8 minutes. Repeat until asleep adding an extra 2 min each time (realistically for a couple of days after an hour of CC you're going to have to let him fall asleep while latched. With me he would fall asleep independantly from day 3 after a full hour of CC).

At night I fed him to sleep as per the guide I followed. Honestly the milk seemed to be stimulating him because he was having more and more wake ups as time passed; eventually I was able to settle him without picking him up just by putting a hand on his tummy.

Whatever method you go with, BE CONSISTENT!!! I know it keeps being said, but the method that works is the one you stick with!

For us it didn't take too long before he would fall asleep in his bed with a feed to make him drowsy. But to do without the drowsy-ifying feed completely took 3 months on-and-off. It's a marathon, not a sprint.

Good luck!

Hi all, this is such a supportive thread re CC, me and my DH are absolutely exhausted from our nearly 10mo waking up in the night regularly and taking ages (nearly 2 hours, sometimes 3) to settle.

We have tried so many things that CC seems to be all that is left, we are resolved but whenever we leave the room he is rolling onto his front and crawling around. We just keep going back in to put him on back but as soon as we get to door he is on his front again, what should we do? We can't even start the intervals because we have to go back instantly!

Any advice greatly appreciated! Thanks

Hi @Overanxiousmummy im not sure I understand- are you worried about your 10mo sleeping on his front? If so you really don’t need to. By this age it’s really common for them to prefer sleeping on their front and it’s totally fine. There’s nothing you can do to stop them and often they sleep much better that way. Good luck with the CC

Hi @Miriam101 I'm not worried about him sleeping on his front, he often does, but when putting him down he basically just rolls onto his knees and starts crawling around/sitting up, should we just leave him like that for the 3 minutes and the go back in and put him on his back and then come out for the next interval? He just doesn't seem like he would settle if he is just crawling around the cot

Ah I see! Sorry. Yes, I’d just leave him to it. He’ll work it out eventually 🙂im far from an expert though! But I did CC with both mine and never went back in to lay them back down or anything. Our youngest now spends a while shuffling around his cot snd when he’s tired he lies down and goes to sleep.

A really supportive thread, that’s great

@Overanxiousmummy yes just leave him to it, he will think it’s a game if you keep going in to flip him over. He’s perfectly safe in his cot and not going anywhere so just leave him to crawl around, he’ll fall asleep eventually! also much easier to do it now than when he can pull himself up etc

Hi All, we basically were not consistent enough and gave up on CC because of him getting sick. He would cry and cough etc - so can't leave him to cry as long. I have ended up doing a bit of cosleeping to try to get some rest and we are trying other methods too in the meantime ( sorry can't detail them here as may be too outing!)

I hope @Overanxiousmummy it works for you, for now we are giving it a pause and see if the sleep improves. If this thread becomes a support thread for CC, all the better - it is so tough!!

Thanks everyone, it didn't end up working at bedtime because we kept going in to flip him and he was sick so had to change the sheet and he fell asleep while I was holding him and DH changed the sheet! Woke up briefly when I put him down but fell asleep again but we will persevere, especially now we know to just leave him on his front. It is so hard to do but if it works I know it would have been the best thing for us all and I totally see why you had to stop for now @nurserychoices , good luck with it all

Thanks @Overanxiousmummy, poor bubba :( it is so very hard, Good luck again this evening, I hope you got some rest a bit last night? How old is he? I am looking forward to this weekend, at least I will have an extra pair of helping hands during the day!

@overanxiousmummy my boy used to mess around in the cot, standing up and crawling around at a similar age. It's fine sometimes it would take him 20mins but eventually he would lie down and go to sleep. It's just a phase. Once crawling and standing isn't such a novelty it'll pass. Xx

Have your own sleep phrase (I'm just a nerd :P) and do have a nap/bedtime routine. I started feed-to-drowsy during the day and feed-to-sleep at night, then once he's settling you're supposed to feed-to-drowsy during the night (honestly I found it easier to settle at night without picking him up).

It's not an overnight fix. Honestly it was 3 months of feed-to-drowsy before he gave it up completely. But we did get there!