What's your thoughts kids inviting them selfs over

[Watfo]

Just had an akward situation for the last hour where a friend of my daughters rolled up at our door step there both only 8! I phoned the mum and she was fully aware of this.

I was always brought up that you don't invite your self to someones house and you don't invite someone round untill the parents either mums or dad or whoever is the adult speak to each other and agree its ok . They was both talking in the garden so whether shes gone to her mum and said "i said its ok im not sure"

What's your thoughts on this ???

totally normal. And it's also normal to tell them that now is not a good time. I'm really happy living on a street where all kids are always in and out of each other's houses, without parents needing to organise playdates.

How depressing this sounds to me. I would say my front doors going all day, but that’s not exactly true because it’s literally always open and half the kids just walk in nowadays. I’ve got 3 children all different ages, and they’ve got multiple sets of friends who come round for them every day. It would drive me batty if each one had to get their parent to phone and ask my permission to knock on my door. I don’t expect everyone to like having an open house like me, but how on earth is it rude for a child to knock to ask to play??

This was completely normal when I was a child too. I'd love it if my son has friends randomly popping round looking for him when he is old enough (still a baby now).

The comments about what adults did as kids are irrelevant. We now have instant communication methods and it’s easy to ask using them, rather than pretending we live in the 1950s.

We have phones, use it.

Most 8-yo do not have phones and I really prefer not to be DCs social secretary if this can be avoided.

Growing up my friends and I were always calling on each other and I'm glad my own DCs had the same experience. Even now they are young adults, their friends are often coming round. I couldn't be doing with the formality of contacting parents and I think it really helped in managing their friendships and independence too.

Same. DD got her first phone at 10 when she was venturing to the rec without me.

Perfectly normal. My DD and her friends did this all the time as did I when I was a kid. They never scheduled their play times.

It's normal.
It's nice.
Even with two broken legs it's nice that your child has someone to play with who wants to play with them and who comes round.
Given your not quite as normal reaction to this, it will also be normal for other children to stop doing it because they know that you don't want it.

But why make things more complicated than they need to be? I currently have 6 kids in my garden, 2 are mine. They all appeared randomly, are having tons of fun and when I've had enough and they're still here, I'll just tell them to go home. What's the problem? How is it easier to call and arrange with parents?

Perfectly normal everyday occurrence for us, as it was for me as a kid too.

What's really awful is that the hospital the OP initially went to diagnosed sprained ligaments (and only in the one leg) I'm not one for suggesting litigation but the fact that doctors initially missed not one but two broken legs is pretty shocking.

I think it’s normal with the neighbours kids when they’re at the playing out age. It can do your head in at the time, but I quite miss it now mine are older. With friends that lived further away, we needed to arrange it before they had phones.

Now our kids are teens, they arrange meeting up on their phones so they’ll say ‘X is coming over later’. We don’t have neighbours close by anymore either so that makes a difference too.

My youngest has been knocking on the door of his friend's home (lives on same street) for several years.
If they are busy, they tell him and he comes home.
Likewise when their son knocks at our door.

I think it's lovely their son feels able to come to our home when he wants for spontaneous fun. But I'll now have to check with his parents incase they hate it.

I'd love it if another child knocked for my daughter, not likely though as she is autistic and has zero friends 😢

Just want to clear this up though not really relevant to this post -the xray department was closed at our local hospital that 1st night hence they thought it was just a sprain I had.
The next day I got the xray and was told its broken few days later and I got a phone call to say they rechecked the xray and infact other leg was broken also

Totally normal, both when I was a child and with my own children. I couldn't be arsed sending or receiving texts or calls from the parents - if a child "knocks on" they either come in to play, my child goes out to play OR they get sent home as it isn't convenient.

It's hardly rocket science.

Was the child calling for your child to play outside? I'm confused why you would assume you had to invite them in? You could just say 'sorry X isn't going out today'

I would be delighted if we had a neighbour dd's age. I think this is lovely. I'm sorry about your fractures but I actually think the friend calling round is even better because now you don't have to entertain DC, they can go and play with the friend

I've got an open door, anyone can come at any time, particularly my children's friends. I'll also go and collect thrm from things in the middle of the night when their parents won't. I really don't get unaccommodating "parents"

It's the same at our house, my children's friends are always welcome.

When I was that age we would call my friends on the phone (landline) and ask if they wanted to come to mine or vice versa. We assumed that the other child has cleared it with their parents first.

With kids in my neighbourhood I'd just ring their door and ask if they are free to come out. I'd love if my kids could do that these days (they are much younger so not sure how it works these days).

@Skyeheather to 'call' for your friend means to go and knock on their door and ask if they'd like to play out, not to actually call them on a phone

That’s very normal. It is annoying though.