Leaving baby for weekend

[Iamtiredandsoismybaby]

I’m planning on going away for 2 nights for my sister in laws hen do & leaning my son with his Dad while I’m away. Wee guy will be 7.5 months old & my husband will be staying with his own Mother the 2 nights I’m away for some back up.
Baby is exclusively breastfed & flat out refuses my milk & formula from a bottle(we have tried every formula & bottle going) but he will sometimes drink my milk or formula from a cup.
He tends to wake 2-3 times at night looking for boob sometimes to feed & sometimes just for comfort.
I really want to go away but I’m quite apprehensive about leaving him. I just don’t want him getting stressed & then in turn stressing out my husband when he doesn’t have access to boobs.
My husband has assured me they’ll be absolutely fine but I think I’m having some mum guilt?

Not sure what I’m looking for here maybe just some reassurance?

Also want to add that my husband & son are absolute bestos. They have an amazing bond & he is an incredible dad, very hands on & even manages to settle him in the night when we know he can’t be hungry.

Sorry to be so negative but in my opinion I don’t think this is a good idea - a breastfed baby will struggle if he’s not used to a bottle and two nights is a long time to be away. Can you just go for some of the day?

My breastfed baby is 10 months and I have just today cancelled going away this weekend as she's going through a leap and wants the boob more and doesn't like a bottle despite me trying to prepare her for it. Last night she cried for me, wanting milk refusing the bottle from her Dad who she is easily settled by when not wanting milk. I figure I have the rest of her life to go away when I will be able to enjoy it and know she's happy. Do what's right for you and baby, whatever you think that is.

Got to be honest and say I agree with the pp. Two nights away is a prolonged period in the life of a small baby, especially one that is to date exclusively breastfed. I think it has the potential to be quite traumatic for all concerned, particularly as 7 / 8 months is often the point at which babies become markedly less tolerant of separation from the primary care figure (not in any way a diss on your partner, who I’m sure is excellent).

Could your husband travel with you and provide care for your baby whilst you dip in and out of hen-do activities as able?

I couldn't have done that with my EBF baby, sorry. She just wouldn't take milk fr a bottle, even when I wasn't there. She just got more and more distressed, and at that little she obviously wasn't eating enough food to make up.

Could you try going away for a test run night, but being very close by and able to come back if needed?

You might have better luck because we never really tried a cup, so it's worth trying!

When is the trip op? I think your options are different if it's this Fri vs four months time

Unless your DS reliably takes a bottle for a while before you go, I don't think it would be a good idea. I wouldn't if I was in your position.

How long until the planned trip? Things can change so much in a few weeks at that age! I’d defo go (but I’ve had 4 children so am not as precious as I was with my first!!).

I wouldn’t try a bottle at that age - I’d try a 360 cup or nuby straw cup or tomee tipee valve cup - mine all drank from these at this age and never had a bottle!

In all honesty your baby will be fine especially as he’ll have his dad and grandma to help out.

Go and enjoy yourself!!!

Sorry but tbh I think for an ebf baby two nights away at this age is too much - both of mine were ebf and it was a struggle bring away for long til they were 10/11 months when I finally got them onto having a bottle or cup.

So sorry to add to the above but if he won’t take a bottle then I don’t think you can realistically leave him as it might be a nightmare for you all. I left my ebf for a morning once to go for brunch with friends and left plenty of breast milk behind thinking that she would probably take the bottle if I wasn’t around. It didn’t happen and when I got back her and her dad were both a wreck! If you really want to go I think you need to start the transition to bottles now so he is definitely taking them. Good luck with what you choose! x

To date how long have you left him?

Sorry op but I have 2 ebf kiddies and there isn't a hope I would have been able to leave them at that age. I returned to work really early with my first and pumped at work... DS refused bottles 90% of the time and kept me up all night feeding.

Only you know your baby, but you do sound anxious about it?

I'd love to offer reassurance but when my DD was 7/8 months she would not have been able to do this or go a weekend without me due to breastfeeding quite a lot still. She wouldn't do bottles or cups either. And was a difficult weaner. I did miss out on some big events but it's just life. So did DH. He was very hands on, did all night wakes with me and everything he could do, but still DD wouldn't have managed.

The first time I was able to leave her overnight was 12 months old. It's one of the downsides to breastfeeding - mind you, I was quite anxious anyway for the first 9/10 months due to her wider health issues so I wouldn't have felt okay leaving her at that age.

You don't say how old your ds is now so we have no idea how long you have to prepare. How long have you tried to leave ds for previously? I'd try 12hrs initially and see how you both are after before increasing the time.

I've ebf 3dc and personally I think you're mad. My DC would have been inconsolable and my boobs would wreck after about 6 hours.

But you aren't me and you have to decide what's best for you and your ds.

OP, I think PP are being a little harsh. Just because others haven't done or wouldn't do this, doesn't mean you shouldn't.
Obviously your baby needs to feed while you are gone, but if he will take milk from a cup, that is fine. Also at 7.5 months I'm sure he is having solids, so BM or formula can be used in porridge for example, to get his calories in.
On the bottles, has your DH tried feeding him the bottle without you there? Some babies won't take a bottle when they know boob is nearby!
Also, I don't think you mention how far away you are going? Would it be possible to go but keep your options open to return early if necessary?

I left my EBF 6 m.o for a night recently, and he slept much better than he does when I'm there (proving that night feeds are often for comfort!)

I would just go for some of the day.

please also bear in mind that if you do end up going, you’ll need to express regularly or run the risk of masitis!

I would second seeing if your DH could stay nearby so you could maybe do a few feeds across the weekend? Is baby well established on solids? If not then a whole weekend away with no BF is really a long time for a 7month old. It’s frustrating I know! My nearly 10month old won’t take a bottle but is not well onto food and water but I’ve only just started to leave him for a day (not a night yet 😬)?

I’ve done it. Did little trials, they are much more willing to take the bottle when you’re not there. We tried all, ended up using the mam ones. Just went out for a few hours and gradually built it up. Had an evening out where I could easily get home if required, but made it clear it would only be for an emergency. Then the two nights were a breeze and it made it so much better after. Same with you, baby had an amazing bond with their dad and it still continues. They will take a bottle, but it’s how much you want to persist and how stressful you find it. Once you and the milk supply is not there they will adapt, like they do at nursery. It’s completely up to you and how comfortable you are with the situation, but it is possible and eventually, freeing and enjoyable!!

We had a weekend wedding when my first born was 8 months and we brought our mother in law with us to help. When she was minding our son , she would call every few hours so I could nurse him. Could you do something similar?

Have you done a trial run? So he looks after your son for two nights by himself to see how he gets on?

This sis a great answer...

Plus I also have a 10 month old that will not accept a bottle!

Good luck 😉

I just don’t see how it will be possible for you to leave your baby for 2 days if he refuses to drink from a bottle! How could that possibly be ok?

Does she refuse to drink from a bottle when you're not there?

Because IME it's a totally different picture when they know there's boob available.

A lot of babies have to deal with it because their mothers go back to work. They don't starve.

At 7.5 months, solids will be nowhere near established enough to meet the calorie deficit from reduced milk. I’m so sorry but I agree with everyone else. I think suddenly going away for 2 nights risks reducing your supply and causing you mastitis (if you are not on it with regular pumping/expressing). It’s good that your DS will take milk from a cup, but I’m not sure I would be confident that would meet milk intake needs, especially if your DH/DMil aren’t used to cup feeding.

Its totally fine to stop breastfeeding at any point, but doing it suddenly potentially risks your health. Any chance you can go for the day or DH come with you?

If you want to teach baby to reliably take a bottle, do the following

• pick one brand of bottle & one brand of formula. doesn't matter which, just stick to it.


• offer bottle once a day for 10-15 mins at a consistent time, e.g. after a daytime nap. If baby drinks, great. If not, put the bottle away & try again tomorrow.


• continue with the same routine every day for 2 weeks.


• by the end of 2 weeks, there is a good (not 100%) chance baby will have learnt to take a bottle.

If the above works, great you can go away. If it doesn't, then I think you have to stay with the baby.

I don’t agree that this will work! My 6m old has had a bottle offered at the same time each day every day since he was born, and most of the time he still only takes an ounce or so, it’s not guaranteed.

Worth a try though as every baby is different.