Just dropped my 26 month old at nursery

[Whathefisgoingon]

For the first time. I have never left him alone with anyone before. Luckily he ran off to play and I bolted as he did, as they don’t offer settling in sessions due to covid.

I feel like I’m missing my little mate and I hate it.

We are sending him because he’s such a sociable little boy and we hope, will enjoy it.

@LoveSpringDaffs I did have that chat with him before we got there, but he doesn’t really understand that concept just yet. He ran off inside when we got there so I didn’t hang around, maybe I will try a different approach tomorrow but I do worry he will cling to me, especially now he knows what nursery is and how he felt today.

I am tempted to pull the plug on it already but most are saying I should give it time.

Please give it time.
You will both get used to it.
It took me longer than my son to get used to.

Once he settles into it he'll absolutely love it.

Take him and say bye and go. It's horrible when they cry but ring after half an hour and see how he is. There more he's there the more he gets used to it.

Don't take him out just yet! Give it time.

My nursery had no settling in sessions due to covid. My boy has been going since 11 months when I returned to work. It's hard at first. But he loves it. They do so much with him and he has made lots of friends.

Don't be surprised if he cries on drop off and pick up for a whole. The drop is hard but hopefully the staff at the nursery are supportive. Pick up crying is like a relief that you are there. They let everything out when they see their mum. You are his safe space.

Nap wise could he nap a little earlier maybe in way in car? But then not sure what he wakes up like? My boy takes a while to come round so could make drop off worse. Alternatively could you do a day session and one morning instead?

It will get better.

Whilst he is away be active. Take your mind off it. Don't sit at home and stew.

Definitely don't give up. It almost always takes longer than one session to settle! DD took a couple of weeks. Totally normal!

It’s totally normal to have a few tears at the beginning - almost all kids do! I’m glad I don’t work in nurseries anymore since I think stopping settling sessions is a bad idea. Especially if they’re then going to phone you to collect him when he cries. It doesn’t really set them up for a new routine type of thing!

My 72 month old isn't keen on being dropped off either but runs off and plays.

Honestly. He's TWO. He's either 'just turned 2, 2 and a half or nearly 3'

If you actually said 26month old in public I would actually cringe. First born by any chance?!

Keep trying. The first session should probably only have been a few hours anyway. I would tell him you are going and will be back.

Can you switch to mornings? Once he bonds with one of the educators it will get better.

Honestly get a life

My DD is now 5. She started nursery at 18m and although she never made a fuss about going, she always seemed slightly subdued there although generally content and ate well and played actively etc.
so I kept with it.

For some reason something has recently sparked DD’s memory for nursery and she’s telling me loads of stuff about it that I’ve not heard before. Now that she’s talking about it in such detail and with enthusiasm it’s as clear as day that she LOVED nursery.

There’s a balance between listening to our instincts as parents and letting our kids go a bit. It’s always going to feel unsettling when they first start childcare but the vast majority will settle well in no time at all.

Oh and I agree that 26m is far more useful than just saying ‘2y’. Can’t comprehend why some posters are so sneery about it. Until around 4 years there’s a MASSIVE developmental difference between someone who’s just had a birthday and a child approaching their next.

Oh definitely don't throw the towel in yet, apart from giving you a nice break (even if you feel like you don't want one) it will be very good for him to have his own little bit of his life that's his, his teachers, his friends. New people & toys to play with and to learn how to play nicely, share, achieve things with others.

Try not letting him run off until you've said goodbye, or go & find him. Even if he clings, he needs to learn you'll go but you'll come back. He will need to learn this at some stage & better now than school!! He needs to learn he's ok/safe with other trusted adults & when/where better to do that than nursery? As you don't have friends/family you leave him with.

Even if he's clingy/cries for a couple of weeks when you leave, it won't do him any harm & he'll soon be off playing. Don't make too much of a fuss or it becomes habit & part of the daily routine.

Thank you.

We just dropped him off. I gave him some breakfast at home so he’s fed, watered, and had a full nights sleep!

This time I said goodbye, told him we’d go and get him a new Peppa after nursery, he walked off and his key person asked him to say bye bye to us, which he did.... then started “mummy, daddy!” like he wanted us to go in with him, but walked
off in his own anyway.

Fully expecting a call in a couple hours but let’s hope he enjoys it a bit more today.

Well done!

If he manages a couple of his second day that's great. Don't be disheartened he doesn't stay the full session as it will get gradually longer as the time goes on.

You might not think it, but that's actually a GREAT start!

beware it's not necessarily linear either, he might be awful next time but great the following time.

just hang in there! The benefits to him outweigh any tears at going in.

I'm sure he'll have a FAB time with people to play with (alongside) and new toys etc

i know how hard is it to leave them (I cried in the car/walk home!!). It's natural to be upset leaving them and feel a little lost without your wee shadow, but it's something that benefits them, so...

You might not think it, but that's actually a GREAT start!

beware it's not necessarily linear either, he might be awful next time but great the following time.

just hang in there! The benefits to him outweigh any tears at going in.

I'm sure he'll have a FAB time with people to play with (alongside) and new toys etc

i know how hard is it to leave them (I cried in the car/walk home!!). It's natural to be upset leaving them and feel a little lost without your wee shadow, but it's something that benefits them, so...

It's not me that needs to get a life - it's anyone pandering to this crap!!

@CoastalWave Deary me 😂

He did his full session and ate his lunch there too! They said he got a bit wobbly during transition times but overall better. 😊

Great news! You might find it's not linear so you'll have a random upset one day or for a couple of days, but it sounds like he's doing great!

Thank you!

Just curious as to what others think about the hand over I experienced.

I picked him up around 20 mins early, and there wasn’t much info given to me at all. I was told he was a bit wobbly at transition times, had eaten most of his lunch and loved a certain activity. His key person then ran off back to the outdoors space that the other kids were in.

I was expecting a bit more detail given this nursery doesn’t have an app or give updates through out the day. Specifically, how they handled him when he was upset or what he was like when he was unsettled. I don’t want to be “that mum” but it was his second day and I have no idea if he actually enjoyed it really.

Am I expecting too much?

I'd say that is a pretty standard handover @Whathefisgoingon. How they ate / how he slept / generally how he was / any big issues

IME if you ask specifics they will tell you, but that seems pretty standard handover info. DD's nursery staff are always happy to be asked extra so just ask them what you want to know!

Yeah pretty standard what to be told.
I get a paper report daily with it all on.
You can of course ask questions

I think for his second day (when they called you to collect him on his first day) I’d expect a little bit of information but they told you he was wobbly at transitions, enjoyed a certain activity and ate well so maybe they didn’t have anything else to add?

So, this is week 2 and whilst he stays for his whole sessions, he now sobs on the way to nursery and at drop off. As soon as I said we are going to nursery, he says “no nursery! Go home!” then today as we got closer he started sobbing and saying “no nursery!” again. 😪

Today is the first day I haven’t called to check after 30 mins or so, because he’s always been fine and always happy when I arrive to collect him. He’s bouncing around and enthusiastically saying his goodbyes to everyone.

is this normal? He really is so distraught at the idea of going there but when he’s there he is ok. At least that’s what I’m told.

Just received this and wanted to share 😝Should they have said “2 year old questionnaire”? 🙂