Please tell me it DOES get better

[Twinkle92]

My DD is about to turn 19 months. She’s always been a tricky baby, cried for months and then windged, never liked to be held by other people, just wanted to be doing. I thought it was just frustration at being a baby but now she’s a toddler, she’s turned to throwing tantrums at everything. She’s so loud, cries, lots of nos but the worst bit is she hits. Today she grabbed my glasses and threw them in the park after hitting me because I moved her away from a golf buggy. I’m so frustrated and upset by it because I just want her to be happy and enjoy her. Her emotions are so extreme. It has me questioning whether it could be something more, ADHD maybe? I know she’s young and it’s child like behaviour but the past few weeks it’s every day at EVERYTHING. I’m getting anxious that this is my life forever now. Please somebody tell me it gets better and they calm down. I’m mentally drained and just feel like I’m failing.

Is she ever happy?
I’ll be honest 1-2 years of age is the worst, so physical, tantrums constantly. Do say no when she does something wrong but she’s too young to understand consequences. Best thing to do is distract before she can grab something like your glasses and if she’s has a tantrum, as long as she’s in a safe place, leave her be, don’t give it attention.
it really does get a lot easier around 2.5 when their speech comes in!

It gets easier OP.
it really, really does.
Absolutely nothing wrong with your beautiful little girl if she requires a diagnosis, but it’s also normal to go through these trying stages. Don’t label her anything at all, just enjoy the good moments, praise those hugely. Make such a fuss it seems OTT when she’s good. She will learn, she is learning still.

For reference, a stranger came up to me when my daughter was 2 and said she’s really sorry but she’s never ever seen my daughter smile.
Our next door neighbour also packed up and moved. I did everything in my power to keep her comfortable and content but she was extremely hard work. She’s now an absolutely delightful 10 year old.

Be consistent, stick to your guns and don’t budge. She will learn. And praise the ass off the good moments. That’s what she likely wants- attention.

I could have written this a thousand times over in the last two years. My DD is 28 months now and still some weeks I feel the same. But it’s getting better s the time and it’s all down to communication and understanding…both ways!! Once you can understand them better and vice Versa you can see their personality emerge and work together. I would put off any thoughts about diagnoses at the moment. It really is normal but you just don’t see it out and about!!

Thank you for all of your replies. Yes she is happy and when she is it’s amazing and she’s VERY happy. It’s like her emotions are very extreme, very happy or very angry. I know I shouldn’t think about diagnosis I’m just at a low point at the minute. Glad to hear others have been through it and seen a change. I just want her to be happy and healthy, heard the phrase so many times before kids but it means so much now.

I’m sure she’s so so so happy and you probably blot out the good parts of the day because you’re worried about the bad, I still do it now I promise you’re doing a great job and the worry shows how much you love her

Sorry when I asked if she’s ever happy- I wasn’t being rude, I meant if not is that why you are concerned but honestly, she sounds very normal

It does get easier, I promise. I found 3 a massive turning point and now at 4 she's basically a delight.

Thank you all. Other people have also told me 3 was a turning point. I know I’m guilty of thinking ‘here we go again,” as soon as she tantrums. It just seems to have started from newborn. Thank you for the encouragement and reassurance.

She sounds a perfectly normal 2 year old though what do you do when she hits you?

@LittleBearPad I put her down away from me and get to her level and say no, you don’t hit, hitting hurts. Then walk away. Same if she’s tantrumming, I ask if there is something she needs.Sometimes she shows me, sometimes it’s because she can’t have what she wants so if distraction doesn’t work I ignore her. I’ve told family members to do the same with the hitting so we’re consistent.

Threads like this come up all the time, there's a recent thread www.mumsnet.com/talk/parenting/4525926-what-are-the-hardest-years

(loads of parents saying which ages are the worst)