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Original poster

To have massively failed my toddler (screen time)

38 replies

tvproblem · 14/04/2022 18:17

My two year old has become obsessed with watching CBeebies on TV. It started when he was unwell last year and I put the TV on to keep him entertained. Then I realised it was a way I could get some ‘me time’ or do much needed chores around the house. I’d put the TV on and do what I needed to do.

However his screen time has crept up and up, to the point where he’s watching 2-3 hours a day. Previously I could distract him by taking him out, but recently, if we’re out at the park or wherever and he’s had enough, he will sit on the floor, refuse to walk and say ‘go home’. Then as soon as we get home he demands the TV on.

He also asks for it straight after meals - I’m worried he’s skipping his fruit or yoghurt because he just wants to get back to the TV. He asks to watch it as soon as he wakes up in the morning too.

I feel awful as although it is good in some ways (he’s learnt a lot of songs from it for example) it seems to have become an obsession to the detriment of other things and even his personality as a whole. He even seems less happy and social than he used to be.

We’re going away for a long weekend over Easter - the cottage we’re staying in does have a TV but I’m wondering if I could use the time away for some sort of ‘reset’ when it comes to screen time, like going cold turkey or something.

I feel so guilty that I’ve let him slip into this terrible habit, through sheer laziness. Help!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

SunshinePie · 14/04/2022 18:19

If it’s any help I wished I had nipped it in the bud earlier. Mine are now 8 and 10 and screens rule their lives 🙄

beattieedny · 14/04/2022 18:21

You haven't failed your child. However, cutting down on screen time is a good idea. It's simple, but not easy: just enforce strict time limits. He won't be happy at first but will adjust. Also let yourself have some peace and don't sweat it!

user1469095927 · 14/04/2022 18:23

I am pretty sure my 4yo watches more than that a day. Started during first lockdown watching more and more TV/tablet due to both parents WFH and homeschooling older siblings. It was sometimes the only way we could get anything done. I worry about the fact his pen control is not as good as his siblings were at that age but on the plus side he is a walking encyclopaedia of facts and is constantly asking questions about things.

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Mumoblue · 14/04/2022 18:30

I’m right there with you, mine has been demanding with the telly since I got COVID and we had a batch of terrible weather around the same time. Because we couldn’t do our usual walk that took us where we could see trains go by, I let him watch trainspotters videos on YouTube (just footage of trains going by) - and every day since it’s been “Trains?! Trains!?”
I’m trying to slowly bring it down again, luckily the weather is nice and we’ve been able to get out more and see some real trains, but he still wants the TV when we’re home.

badg3r · 14/04/2022 18:35

Our kids watch a lot of tv sometimes. We try to watch movies together. Have a week of no screens. We actually hid the tv. It is amazing how after a day or so they just forget it was ever an option!

Troublesometooth · 14/04/2022 18:41

Our tv tends to be on in the background but not always watched. Mine are 3 and 5 and on days at home they can watch a lot of TV. They also have hobbies though and we do trips out so I don’t see it as an issue.

Whatwouldnanado · 14/04/2022 18:44

You are the boss here. Use the break to switch off the screens and introduce other fun stuff eg lego/Duplo, snap cards, colouring etc. Don't use screen time as a reward.

AliceW89 · 14/04/2022 18:47

I’ve personally find no screen time is easier than some screen time. When DS was about 16 months he was maybe watching 30-60 mins tops a day, but despite this he’d ask for it all the time and get really fractious when the answer was no. It caused more headaches then it solved. 3 or 4 difficult-ish days of going cold turkey and he hasn’t asked for it in 7+ months.

BobbinHood · 14/04/2022 18:48

My then-2 year old watched hours and hours of CBeebies during the first lockdown when I had to work and look after her at the same time. Once nursery reopened and we could get out and about and do stuff we just cut down and it was fine. She’s 4 now and has days she has zero screen time and some days she has 2-3 hours. I don’t think it’s worth getting stressed over.

heymuggee · 14/04/2022 18:49

Tv is fine, as long as it's age appropriate of course.

My son is learning all sorts from the stuff he watches.

findingsomeone · 14/04/2022 18:50

Yeah I'd be tempted to go cold turkey. DD is 21 months and doesn't watch TV. I occasionally put baby songs on YouTube if I need to trim her nails or do her hair but that's it. It's hard when they demand stuff to say no when you know they'll kick off and whilst I feel the younger they are the louder they are, in some ways the easier it is. They do get over it and forget faster.

Mybobowler · 14/04/2022 18:52

Honestly OP, don't flog yourself over this. I'm pretty sure my three year old watches this much TV a day, if not more. Started with covid lockdowns, then we had our second baby in the depths of winter. We tend to bounce between activities (park, garden, playdate, painting, baking) and TV but it is always on in the mornings and before dinner.

It's not great and I'm being much more mindful about actively watching with her and chatting about what we're watching, and about turning it off rather than letting it play in the background.

But really, don't beat yourself up over this, and you certainly haven't failed him!

KingscoteStaff · 14/04/2022 19:01

A really good idea to use the holiday to 're-set'!

The telly in the cottage gets put in a cupboard or just 'doesn't work' when you get there. Use the holiday to introduce some new games / toys / art activities. It will need more effort from you, but you'll have to grin and bear it!

Then when you get back, the TV doesn't work there either. OR, you repeat the mantra 'We only watch TV before your bath' - good because that gives you a specific end point.

I think it's brilliant that you have spotted a bad habit forming and you want to do something about it!

Goldbar · 14/04/2022 19:01

I wouldn't worry too much. You're right that it's not ideal but it's fairly easy for screen time to creep up when they're unwell or when you're busy.

Fortunately (at least ime), it's fairly easy to 'reset' to a lower level, especially if you have a holiday or are away for a bit. My 4yo has been having way too much screen time lately since I'm pregnant and feeling shit, but we're away for Easter with grandparents and they won't have practically any screen time then, so I'm hoping to be able to limit it a bit more when we come home. We're getting our garden organised for the nicer weather so going to get the garden toys out and encourage them to spend more time in the garden.

With your little one, could you set up a few easy activities for him to do in the morning when he wakes up so he doesn't head straight for the TV? A cardboard box with a hole cut out and some crayons inside, that sort of thing. And limit screen time to before dinner so dinner is a natural cut off.

tothemoonandbackbuses · 14/04/2022 19:03

I think some is fine but not too much. My eldest has been obsessed by watching tv in the past. I found that age the hardest and it’s got easier as he’s got older.
You’ll soon be able to cut his tv watching back and going on holiday is the perfect time to reset the routine.

OakleyStreetisnotinChelsea · 14/04/2022 19:06

Don't stress, most of us have been there. Illness, new baby, additional caring responsibilities or just bloody covid and having to work from home with small children around due to childcare being closed.

When mine were having too much telly they would tantrum if I said no but if I sneakily switched the telly off at the plug so it wouldn't turn on and told them it was broken they sulked a bit and got over it. A few days tends to be enough to break the habit. Cbeebies radio is a good alternative too or appropriate audio books to give them down time that gives you a bit of a break but doesn't involve a screen.

WTF475878237NC · 14/04/2022 19:08

I would go cold turkey and just take the TV away to be honest!

Lemondrop2 · 14/04/2022 19:12

My ds watched a huge amount during lockdown. Now, hardly anything. He is 5.

I think the Tonie box was quite useful for getting him off screens; I do ‘cinema Sunday’, so we have a dedicated movie that we watch together; now that he is at school, the days really are too short to get any tv in (and the tv is in a separate room from where we do everything else).

I also think that CBeebies is very high quality, so I wouldn’t worry too much.

needmorethanthis · 14/04/2022 19:15

If he’s only doing 2-3 hours a day and it’s only CBeebies then you are winning at life. Take the win. Enjoy the peace it gives you. You have no idea what’s coming when he’s year 3/4/5 at school ….

needmorethanthis · 14/04/2022 19:15

As in you’ll be lucky to have 2-3 hours per day without screen time

DappledShade · 14/04/2022 19:21

That's not really a crazy amount, as long as youndo a good variety of other activities (reading, role play, games, toys) and get them outside at least once a day. Most people I know allow a similar amount. Those that ban it fully are ott in my view. I just think of it as another learning method. If it was all day every day of course it would be too much,.but other than that I wouldn't worry about it.

confuseddotcom1234 · 15/04/2022 08:54

I really wouldn't stress it. We vary a lot but I think as long as they get some fresh air and do other activities too some tv isn't doing any harm. I find can be a good tool to get my eldest to calm down, also once you have more than 1 it becomes a tool to be able to cope as you can't just entertain them all the time.

Original poster

tvproblem · 15/04/2022 21:59

I suppose my main worry is the way he seems so obsessed by it, asking for it quite a lot. And the fact he now associates ‘home’ almost solely with watching the TV! I am also worried it’s affecting his personality, possibly making him more irritable and fractious. But it may just be coincidental as I know two is a tricky age anyway in that regard.

We’re now on holiday and went completely cold turkey today - he asked for it a lot less than usual because he was interested in the new house and garden to explore, but did get quite upset when he asked to watch it and we didn’t.

OP posts:

WTF475878237NC · 16/04/2022 07:34

Well the WHO do say they don't recommend screen time before two because it does impact on children so you're right there. But you're doing something to correct it now

MarshaBradyo · 16/04/2022 07:37

Break the habit now you can change this.

After a few days his habits will change.

I’d really try to stop the connections he’s made.

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