I think I love DD more than DS

[EmbarrassedByThisOne]

yes I am a regular poster and yes I have changed my name

I have a 4 year old DS and a baby DD

I keep having these strange thoughts about how much more I love DD. Of course I love DS lots but he can be difficult due to his age. DD just gurgles and smiles and smells like a baby.

I did always want a girl, but was actually disappointed when I found out 2nd pregnancy was a girl because after having a boy first and thinking he was great I wanted another one.

I do get to dress DD like a doll.

I have been playing Sophie's choice in my brain and thinking couldn't have been that difficult.

I have not acted on these feelings at all, I am almost sure of this (but of course have doubts especially mid whinging episode). DS gets lots and lots of cuddles and attention. But with DD the bond just feels so much stronger.

Please tell me this is biological and because DD is a breast-feeding baby and DS is a more vocal 4 year old.

Or am I just a bitch (which is how I'm starting to feel)

ive had this too. not exactly loving one more but when i had dd it seemed for months that ds was just in the background. i found it really hard to adjust to having two of them and she took up so much of my time. ds was like a lost soul and i felt so guilty because i felt i had lost the bond with him. all of a sudden i just felt irritated by him. its hard to explain. i didnt ignore or neglect him but i was so interested in the baby and felt awful for loving something as much as i loved him. it was strange for me to have a bond with dd straight away aswell as i didnt have that with ds. he was prem, i was quite young, hadnt a clue what i was doing and him being in scbu i always felt like he belonged to the hospital, not me (if that makes any sense). anyway dd is 10 months now and although im not entirely sure when this feeling passed, (in fact, had forgotten about it until i saw this thread) things are pretty much back to normal now.

my feelings for my sons swing up and down all the time. Normal normal normal, I think. Very much agree about taking children out alone so you can really enjoy each others' company.

Glad my boys never wanted to wear tights, marina!