Have I met my first child pervert?

[wheredowegofromhere]

Yesterday, I left and locked DS in the car to pay for petrol, when I came back he was laughing and smiling to someone so I looked around and there a man staring at DS, 21 months, licking his lips and really showing his tongue out doing so. Yesterday I found this weird now I?m disgusted and worrying that I?ve met my first child pervert.

We live in a friendly place and lots of people smile back at DS when he waves or smile at them but this feels different. And he never looked at me, which people usually do to show they?re just being friendly.

I feel sick thinking about it.

and why have you felt the need to namechange?

pmsl fio.

Message withdrawn

I do think this man sounds harmless and anyway as you locked the car and were yards away, I think DS was safe. I don't think you were wrong to leave him in the car.

BUT having been a victim of childhood sexual abuse and talked to others who have, I do think you have very probably met several perverts already. They are not likely to be the ones amusing your DS by making a silly face. They will often be people with outwardly respectable lives who have ways of keeping their abusive behaviours under cover. Many a grown adult has stories of abuse from teachers, scout leaders, priests, and sadly in many cases, medical staff and staff who are supposed to be looking after children in care. It's obvious why - because a determined paedophile will aim to get themselves into those positions. On top of that, a vast number of abusers are trusted family members. And while some of those cases go to court and hit the headlines, many more don't. If you think this is what you need to watch out for, think again. Educate your DC about the risks and teach them to tell you at once about any inappropriate contact from adults. being on your guard is the best defence because there is no way you can spot them all and know about them all.

Sorry for going on but I feel strongly about this. Peple who think they can spot a pervert are wrong, wrong, wrong.

I think that you should feel reassured that this bloke was not a weirdo. We have all said that.

Would you feel more reassured if we said that he is a definite paedophile as he was licking his lips and staring provocatively at your 21 month old son who was strapped in his car seat.

Again, poor man.

Cod I generally understand you but what is a hitty thread - do you mean shitty thread?

roffle @ fio

pmsl @ fio

well he was a male and he was entertaining your child who was locked inside a car with no way of getting to him, he was seemingly enjoying himself entertaining your child so therefore OF COURSE he was a pervert.

i bet he had a rain mack on too.

I'd never dismiss a feeling of things not being 'right', but from your messages I can't see that anything wierd happened.

I wonder if the petrol station has him and his car registration on CCTV?

Even so, he hasn't actually done anything you could report.

Maybe the "feeling of it not being right" was because you had left him on his own in a car? Not having a go, but the man may have thought it odd, seen a car with a child on his won, and waited around to see where the parent was, and had to do something to kill time? You cant just stand and stare at a child, can you?

on his own not WON, durrr

PMSL at fio

Back on form lady!

Cod - what is "thhithy"?

i think id be more worried about locking child in car and leaving while i went off to pay petrol scarier than someone making faces at dc.
would you feel same if it was a woman doing same thing?

Generally people lick their lips if they are suggesting something along the lines of oral sex. But it's only effective if you know that is what is meant.

I doubt that your ds at 21 months would think that, he would see a funny man sticking his tongue out.

It would be utterly pointless to do this action to a child in a perverted way as they have no idea what it means. Do you see? He couldn't possibly get any kicks from doing that.

More than likely to be a man like my brother, with learning difficulties who has seen people do this and doesn't understand it's appropriate usage either. OR you've got the wrong end of the stick entirely.

btw - what are you supposed to do when filling up with a child at a garage? Do you get them out of the car whilst you fill up and make them stand in the sand bucket? What do you imagine will happen when you go to pay, that the car will spontaneously explode? Surely there's more chance of that happening whilst you are filling the car up, therefore you really should stand them in the sand bucket until you are ready to drive off. With paper bags over their heads so they aren't exposed to tongue pulling strangers.

I've done this - was in a supermarket car park and saw a baby in the car in her seat crying with no parent around - so I amused her til I saw the adult returning by making silly faces.

The woman comes back across the carpark dragging a 4 year old (as we've all had to do ) and swearing 'farking little twat' at him. She would have seen me round the car - I did not want to either give her the impression I was judging her for leaving her baby in the car park (I don't have a problem with this) or interrupt her when she was already angry.

So I didn't make eye contact or anything and just went about my business knowing that I'd done the right thing by distracting the wee mite from crying for a couple of minutes.

So I can see how it could have happened - maybe he was just casually watching out for your child (like we should all do in a community) until you came back.

Or he may have had special needs.

Or any one of a number of innocent neighbourly things.

I cant see why its dangerous to leave children in the car on a forecourt either. My DS is a little Houdini and far more likely to come to grief doing a mad dash in a bid to escape my clutches.

no

and you are doing a disservice to children who suffer abuse by calling this man a child pervert

jesus, an old man smiled and pulled faces at DD today whilst we were shopping ( and distracted her from screaming, 'mummmmmmmeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee' at the top of her lungs)..he had a beard and everything....shall i call the police

lulumama-agree totally with second line of your post.makes me

vvv I think (and I don't speak fluent cod so could be wrong ) that cod was referring to her hiding this thread as well.

lolol at Fio and Rhubarb

Good grief.. its stupid questions like that that make parents like my DH scared to even approach a child who looks lost for fear of being called a pervert.

FFS, just because he's a bloke and he's looking at your child doesn't mean he's getting his rocks off.

Don't be silly

I think, as SnowLeopard said, you've probably met several in the past (as have we all) and not realised.

I really don't think a man sticking his tounge out to entertain a child needs to be classified as a pervert. It does concern me that many men will admit that the wouldn't approach an obviously lost child in case they are accused of something. And grandfathers who have never bathed their grandchildren in case people comment. The world's going bloody mad.

BTW, I do realise that child abuse is all too real and common, I just think it is a shame that children can't sit on Father Christmas' lap anymore.

Oh my goodness this is sooo funny, i really needed a laugh today after my teething dd cried for most of the day and i had a big argument with a nasty couple who parked in aparent & child space!!! We have a friend who makes her husband fill the car up because she wont leave her dd in the car on her own? I think it's a bit sad when people cant smile/pull faces at children without people jumping to conclusions.