How do i help my son. So little understanding & no speech at 2.

[3babies22]

Title pretty much says it all. Im so worried for him, minds running away with itself. Hes just turned 2 years old. Born premature. A twin. He has very little understanding and no words. He babbles loads and is very affecionate. Gived kisses, uses my hand to help or repeat something lifts arms to be picked up and grabs my hand to hold hands loves being outdoors and running and balls no sense of danger at all. But other than that no understanding of anything i say ive tried private speech therapy tried portage he just isnt interested its hard to keep his attention on anything. When i look at him i just want to cry... for him not me as i worry about things that sound stupid with him just being 2 but like will he ever speak, does he know i love him, will he be happy, have friends its really affecting me and i dont know how to help him.

DN was a premie. No words until 3. Then 2 mths after his first word he was speaking in a much more advanced way than the other kids & was reading too. He’s now 6 and top sets in everything. The best thing his DP did for him was signing classes as they helped him communicate. If there are any baby signing classes near you just sign him up if possible

My daughter was non verbal until she was 4, the lack of understanding was also my main worry, she didn’t always react when I called her name, didn’t follow instruction and had poor eye contact. Can’t say everything turned out ok but she does now talk and follow instructions, her understanding is much better but she’s still behind, she was diagnosed with autism and language delay when she was 3. She’s now 16 and sitting GCSE’s (only 3) In a couple months time. When she was 3 I was told she would never speak, read or write. She has friends, she talks when she wants too and is always happy.

Things that helped with her speech…..music therapy and using PECS (picture exchange communication) and giving her opportunities to speak without forcing her.

The congestion could be playing a big part. My son suffered this way.
Is he a mouth breather? I had no idea how bad my son's was until we went into the sound proof room for hearing tests..
He also had dull hearing. It was explained to me that he can hear but can't differentiate the sounds properly e.g to pick up speech rather than background noise.
Even after grommets and discharge from ENT at 6 he still struggled with busy places and would zone out.
Maybe make sure if you are doing a few minutes with him on simple words etc that there's no other noise

Ah thank you all. All amazing stories to read. @Saffy321 i wish 121 at nursery was available for us i feel they dont have much time for him at nursery and keep thinking about moving them but they seem happy just they definately dont have much time to try and help his development. I find even at just turned 2 (& actually not corrected 2 for another month) some have already written off the possibilty of speech i find it so disheartening and sad for him when hes so young. Really do appreciate all the replies as i can find so many threads on no speech but not much where there is also a delay in understanding reading these has helped alot x

If it helps... I was in your position a year ago.

Ds was full term and not a twin but had no words at 2. He had only just started pointing and only clapped as we physically had to teach him which resulted in arm flap claps instead of claps.

He's just over 3 now, he's got words but only really in the last couple of months. I still think he's a million miles off where he should be but we are ish getting there. The speech he has is limited but the other day he said something like 'mumma carrot in dere' which must be the first time I can think that he's tried to show a common interest in something. I was totally shocked.

Keep the faith

The 1-1 at nursery was because the Paed did a legal Section 23 notification on the LEA which meant extra funding became available and the LEA had to monitor the use of it by nursery every term, so perhaps that's something you could look into?

The teachmetotalk website is brilliant, there is a checklist on there of all the pre verbal skills toddlers learn before speech, so you can see where your child is up to and then teach them the next skill on the list - there are lots of video clips demonstrating as well.

Have you tried any baby signing with him? Both dc would be able to chat to each other if you did some with both! My dc took to it very quickly.. Was more for fun and managing tantrums!! Worked really well ime.

Thanks @Saffy321 will discuss that with pead in May when i see him again. And @Easterbunnyiswindowshopping i have tried makaton is that what you mean or something different. I do use some makaton signs but getting his attention focused can be difficult x

My son is now 15 and was barely verbal at four. Looking back now, I am certain he had either a speech or an auditory processing issue. It was complicated further by migrating to a country where none of us spoke the language, so help was impossible. He and I worked on that together. He is a twin and was not technically premature, but only just…. You need to take him to GP to rule out tongue tie or other physical issues and ask for a referral as they take a loooong time. Just love him and read to him, chat to him and ask him to repeat sounds.

Thanks @Saffy321 will discuss that with pead in May when i see him again. And @Easterbunnyiswindowshopping i have tried makaton is that what you mean or something different. I do use some makaton signs but getting his attention focused can be difficult x

@3babies22

Our second son was referred to SALT at the age of 3 as he had virtually no language or understanding. He was diagnosed with a "severe and complex language disorder" at the age of 4 for both expressive and receptive language.

DS2 could barely string a sentence together and a lot of what he said was complete gobbledygook with the occasional recognisable word. I remember once hearing a much younger child say to his mum, "What are they doing?" and it struck me then that DS2 had never asked a question in his life.

We struggled to understand what he was trying to tell us. Frequently he cried himself to sleep because he couldn't get through to us. And we struggled trying to get him to understand us. He would just say "Yes," to everything, even when I said something like, "Don't do that again."

The despair I felt at not being able to get through to him was indescribable. It was as though there was an invisible brick wall between us and I just felt completely useless.

DS2'S receptive language was so poor he didn't get excited about Christmas because he had no understanding of what Christmas was, so on Christmas Eve he just went to sleep as normal. How do you explain about Father Christmas and presents to a 4 year old child without any understanding?

We also had a lot of behaviour problems as a result of his frustrations at not being able to communicate. Some of his behaviour was so bizarre, we were convinced he was autistic. At that point I couldn't see how he could ever go to a mainstream school.

The key to everything was the intensive support and intervention that was put in early. He had a Statement of Special Educational Needs (now called an EHCP) while he was still at nursery school, which provided for at least 15 hours 1:1 support and this was transferred to infant school.

He had intensive speech and language therapy with a specialist therapist from the Specific Language Impairment Team for several months. The Speech and Language Therapist went into school to work with him directly, and gave the TA tasks to carry out each week. DS2 loved learning and responded well to all the support he was given.

By the time he was 6, DS2's language (both receptive and spoken) was age appropriate, he was doing better than most of the other children in his class, and his Statement ended.

The following Christmas when he was 7, the little boy who had once been so isolated and unable to communicate, was given the part of Joseph in the Y2 Nativity play, a major speaking part. It was a measure of how far he had come.

DS2 is now 28, a graduate from Manchester University and working for the NHS.

I could have written your post. Seriously I copied the link to this, sent it to my husband and he thought I was talking about our son until you said he was a twin.

My little boy is 2, just turned a few weeks back. No words at all, babbles but not like he’s trying to talk but more that he likes the sounds he can make. Like yours, he’s very relaxed, easy going (as long as you know what he wants which we typically do) and he’s lovely and affectionate. He’s a bundle of energy and fun.

He wouldn’t be able to follow a simple instruction like bring this book. He just started pressing the button to a book and it made my day!!

He has been to SaLT and has a referral to a paediatrician and we’re on the waiting list. SaLT didn’t feel they could help massively and wrote a 13 page report referring to the paediatrician. Our nursery are fabulous though with him and work extra extra hard with us to help him and support him.

I feel like we should exchange numbers 😂 everything you said resonated with me. My little boy is our only child and sometimes I feel like I have no idea what I’m doing. He’s happy and has a beautiful soul but I’m not quite sure how well I’m preparing him for our atypical world. Our HV thinks autism but I’m just not quite convinced if I’m honest.

Could collecting all the items you are learning signs for help? Dd's did banana and biscuit first!!
Don't be afraid to enlist family /friends.

Sorry for the late response i hadnt seen these. @Ellie56 your post made me cry! Them feeling of despair and feeling useless i know that all too well. I am so glad it all worked out for your ds and how everything just came on for him. I so agree the intensive support is key but getting hold of it is so hard. Its like we are lost in limbo we have people in place but rarely see them portage has ended as hes had 7 sessions and too many children waiting to carry on. SALT have taken him on but after the initial assesment we must wait 5 months now for 3 zoom calls then he is under a pead but we dont see her again for another 6 months after the initial assesment.

@Bex268 ahh your DS does sound just like ours and thats amazing that he is getting so much support at nursery.. im suprised your HV has expressed she think Autism as although my gut tells me DS will receive a ASD diagnosis my HV Pead SALT and portage all wont go there and all just say he is way too young to know... does your DS make good eye contact? Does he turn to his name? And does he bring toys to you to play or if he needs help? My DS eye contact has improved massively and i would say is good now but i dont believe he knows his name. Very rarely turns round when i call him

Long shot... but wondered if anyone on here had any tips.... DS was ill 2 weeks back for about a week (viral) he seems to of fully recovered now from that but still wont eat! Literally refusing all meals screams when try to sit him at his table. Tried all kinds of foods ones he used to love at a loss!!

DS is now closer to 3.5 and we spoke to speech and language when he was about 18 months as had concerns. Have you tried rolling a ball back and forth between the both of you? And tried copying his babbles sound for sound?

Our DS didn't point until he was 2, answer to him name until 2, no words until closer to 3, didn't bring us toys for attention ect.

I wouldn't stress about food, sit him down at meal times whilst your eating and pop a plate down. The cravings for food will come back when he's better.

Thank you @LifeIsBusy its hard not to worry isnt it. But i think need to try. He is who he is just want to make sure we are doing the best to support him i can see he is frustrated more because he cant tell us what he wants. I have started to think he is turning to his name sometimes here and there starting very recently hopefully this continues to improve thanks so much for your reply hearing such positive stories is amazing so glad your DS has come such a long way by 3.5 xx

The worry is the worst part.. I often find myself lost in these threads looking for similarities and wondering what the outcome will be.

I see other parents engaging in little conversations and think how? It feels every little bit of progress takes so much effort. I just want to be able to help him in the best way.

I'm also unsure if I should be raising it and pushing for it to be looked at further. What are you doing?

Our LOs nursery aren't concerned and I really don't understand why not.

@3babies22 I felt the despair in your messages and send my support. As a mother to a 16 month old who is not where he should be, I know what it is like to spend every waking moment wondering what else can you do to help development. It is so difficult. I hope you have seen some progress since your last post.

I have two with speech delay and the children centre run pre speech therapy courses for younger children

I have just come across this post as I have an almost 3.5 year old who can say an array of words, sing countless songs, count to 20, name every fruit, vegetable, animal, shape you can think of.. but he just has little to no understanding. I’m hoping that in the future this can help other parents feel less alone.

Things he does understand..

• He can get in to his chair to sit and wait for his lunch. If he’s playing in his bedroom I can tell him it’s lunch/dinner time and he will come downstairs to sit and eat.
• He knows what it means to get dressed and get his shoes on, he will grab your hand and start pulling you towards the front door.
• He knows what his nursery uniform means as he really enjoys nursery. He doesn’t like walking when we’re out and about but when we pull up at his school he’s happy to hold your hand and walk in.
• He will hand lead a lot, he will give you his drink to fill up or take you to the sink. He will take your hand and lead you to the snack cupboard when he’s hungry, if he needs help opening something or reaching something he will either take you to it or bring it to you for you to help etc.
• He understands when you say it’s bedtime, he will rush over to you to start his bedtime routine. Or if he’s already upstairs playing he will hear the white noise come on and get in to bed himself.
• He understands when you tell him it’s bath time, he will happily get undressed and race straight for the bath.

Other than any of this though he doesn’t understand much at all. I can’t ask him questions and expect an answer. I can’t ask him to pass me something and him do it. Also despite him knowing all of these things and being exceptionally clever, if I ask him what colour something is, he won’t answer.

I try to think about how he was a year a go and how he has improved, even if it’s just a little bit. He does now sometimes (maybe 70% of the time) look when you call his name. He has FINALLY stopped breastfeeding as of a few months a go, something I thought would never happen as it was such a comfort for him. A year a go he was still waking all night long, sometimes he would be awake for hours during the night. He now sleeps through the night 99% of the time. He’s always been a decent eater but never really ate enough. The foods/meals he will eat he now clears the plate completely. This time last year he avoided all eye contact too and this has also improved a load.

I am certain he has autism, I could be wrong but he does other things which point to autism too. He can often spin, walk on his tip toes, doesn’t socialise with other children, stares at objects intensely, including his own hands. I could be wrong but I am very certain he will be diagnosed when he sees a developmental paediatrician later this year. He is also under SALT but has only had one session in 3/4 months. We are still waiting for the next step which is apparently her coming to observe him in his nursery sometime next month.

@Ellie56 I have just read your response to this post and cried tears of joy at the end. My son doesn’t understand Christmas, well.. he understands the tree, decorations, Santa and the songs equal what he believe Christmas is in his head, but he doesn’t understand he gets presents and that it’s an exciting time. I am so pleased to hear that your son came on leaps and bounds. I often talk to my partner that I’m waiting for this relief moment where I can sit and think ‘wow, it really turned out all okay in the end’ and I can breathe a huge breath of relief.

@3babies22 I hope your son is doing better now, I know it’s been a few months since your last response on here. He must be getting on for 3? If I’ve read the responses correctly. An update would be lovely! Just wanted to let you and
anyone else who comes across this years down the line know that you’re not alone 🙂

My youngest DS was born very premature and was developmentally delayed. He had no speech at 2yo. He is 5yo now and we get lots of spontaneous speech now. He had lots of SaLT input.

Try not to worry, OP💐 your DS will get there in his own time.

Hi, DS is now nearly 2yrs 8months both him and his twin are still non verbal! Has a little more understanding than a few mobths back and his twins understanding has come on alot in the past months (although still delayed and no words) I am finding NHS SALT really poor to be honest! I have been looking to go private but wanted someone with experience working with ASD. but struggling to find anyone x

@3babies22 Have you thought about applying for DLA for both of them? Or at least the one twin you worry the most about? We are in the process of doing this, had no idea it even existed until someone on here mentioned it in a post. I was hoping if we are awarded it that we can put the money towards a private SALT as like you say, the NHS ones are useless. Either that or towards activities we can do as my son really needs a lot of mental and physical stimulation every day.

We heard nothing back from ours for almost 4 months, had to chase her and called several
times about 3/4 weeks a go. She never sent us the recourses she promised she was putting together for us to do at home to help him either. When we finally got through to her she gave countless excuses, just not good enough.

I know this is an old thread but just wondering @3babies22 if you could give an update on how your twins are doing?