How do i help my son. So little understanding & no speech at 2.

[3babies22]

Title pretty much says it all. Im so worried for him, minds running away with itself. Hes just turned 2 years old. Born premature. A twin. He has very little understanding and no words. He babbles loads and is very affecionate. Gived kisses, uses my hand to help or repeat something lifts arms to be picked up and grabs my hand to hold hands loves being outdoors and running and balls no sense of danger at all. But other than that no understanding of anything i say ive tried private speech therapy tried portage he just isnt interested its hard to keep his attention on anything. When i look at him i just want to cry... for him not me as i worry about things that sound stupid with him just being 2 but like will he ever speak, does he know i love him, will he be happy, have friends its really affecting me and i dont know how to help him.

My grandson, born 8 weeks premature had no words at 3 years 5 months when he started pre school. He is now almost 7 and speaking perfectly, reading, writing etc. he had some speech therapy but it wasn’t very useful. He had a lot of support from school in nursery and P1 but really just started to speak when he was ready.

Yeah I agree, boys tend to be later than girls and my boy only started proper sentences recently and he turned four. Read more stories and converse more. Look at picture books together and give him your time. And bin any dummies.

Of course he knows you love him!
And 2year olds don’t have any sense of danger.
However I do completely understand your worries. My premature baby was speech delayed too but at three she caught up big time.

I assume he’s had hearing tests. How is his twin?

The best advice I can give is to keep on talking to him, using simplified language and a smaller vocabulary.
For instance keep using whatever word you use for a drink, but try not to vary it too much, just say drink or cup, which ever you like, but don’t overcomplicate it with saying juice or sippy cup etc
Say ‘car’ not blue car, big car, 4x4.
And keep on keeping on.

Has he been referred to audiology for hearing assessment? I would assume the GP or HV has done this, if not get a referral to rule it out

DD1 was overdue by 2 weeks and wasn't talking at 2 🤷🏻‍♀️ she's fine, btw

Kids can be as late as 5yo without the speech therapist really worrying about it very much

What do you mean no communication?? That's worrying.... does he point? Does he show you things he wants? If not, then go to GP. DD3 at 15 months communicates a lot! She points and grabs and drags mevto where she wants. But doesn't say much beyond mama/baba/no.

I was going to suggest hearing tests and see others have already. My son had glue ear and grommets changed him completely - hearing meant he could then hear to learn how to speak properly and realised how much speaking did actually go on around him. He soon caught up.

@Mummyongin

Has he been referred to audiology for hearing assessment? I would assume the GP or HV has done this, if not get a referral to rule it out

Personal experience, don't.

As a mum you know whether he hears you or not. Does he respond when you call his name? Does he turn his head to sounds? Pay attention to his babbles: find the sounds there: F, Z, G, T, M..... and so on

The hearing test expects cooperation of the child and that isn't guaranteed. The doctor that saw DD1 was hopeless........ and she was terrified, he said she had autism 🤦🏻‍♀️ wish I had complained but I was too busy......

I would suggest audiology too, DD had a minor ear problem, she could hear but it was probably muted, her speech improved quite a bit once it was fixed. A family member had to have grommets fitted, his parents actually thought he had a developmental delay for but he just couldn’t hear poor thing.

He had a hearing test (2 actually) both showed congestion in ears but she said given his age and time of year she wasnt concerned. Report said ears were Dull. But he did not cooperate at all wasnt interested and found it all very frustrating. He doesnt repond to his name. But does he snacks being opened or a door opening the cartoon theme tune etc. He doesnt point wave or clap. But will clap if i hold his arms and will clap mine together during nursery rhymes at the correct part so he knows when to do it. He guides my hand to show me what he wants help with his babbles are so varied he says baba gaga rara dada mama sssss eeee aaaa. He also says run run run when running not clear but i know what hes saying he will take turns will toys and them to me when its my turn and take back for his and so on. Hes the most loving boy loves cuddles tickles kisses and so chilled and laid back. But his communication is so delayed i dont know what else to do with his understanding to help him he doesnt understand simple words such as ball cat dog he does under stand come here, kisses, mummys turn he ubderstands when i get the table out that its food time and his bottle bed time. I think he understands nappy routine etc x

Oh and his twin sister is doing well she also has no words and speech delay but her understanding although still delayed is alot better she will bring things to me for help and get out of the cupboard what she wants and shows me she is alot more sociable and understands when i say Ta. She claps her hands and says eeeee for go. I have wondered if the difference in them is that she is a girl and hes a boy or if thats just a myth. As strange as it sounds she also has no single words but i am alot less worried about her than i am her brother x

Like PP my DD only babbled at 2. She didn't say a word other than dada until she was nearly 2.5 and is only now speaking in clear sentences at 3.5. she was an early walker so we just assumed as she could just go and get what she wanted she never bothered to try and ask for anything. It was only after she went up a level at nursery to preschool that she started to talk clearly.

I think the lack of understanding is bigger than the lack of speech so many seem to have experience of speech delays but generally say understanding was fine this is where im worrying so much :(

He sounds similar to my DS, does he go to nursery? The SENCO at ours has been amazing. DS is 2.5 and been seen by a SALT who has recommended a referral to a paediatrician. My DS has come on loads in the last 6 months but still sitting around 12 months behind. I think mums have a good gut instinct, I knew something wasn't right from 18 months. If he doesn't go to nursery push with the HV, we saw ours a few months ago and they said if nursery weren't already on it they would have started him on a speech intervention programme at that point.

What is not clear is what mainstream GP/hospital involvement you have - are you being seen by anyone?

Either your child is missing milestones or they are not - have you discussed this with your GP?

They are both under a pead as they were born premature. He isnt concerned!... but have been referred to a development pead now as aged 2. She saw them and said definately delayed too early to say anything else. She isnt seeing them again until August. Genetic testing all came back normal. They are on SALT waiting list but i have been paying private they also have portage involvement. Nursery senco involved also. I know i cant do more with regards to whos involved. I guess maybe hoped for some similar positive stories from some that had previously been in this position where their little ones had gone on to gain all their skills and communicate. Never thought at 2 id be worrying about their future! :(

It sounds like you have got everyone involved which is great! My DD is 4 and has limited speech as a result of a genetic syndrome. We have found Makaton invaluable. She signs some words and she understands us much better when we sign to her. There are proven benefits of using it with all kids not just those with a learning delay. You can find lots of signs online just from googling and Mr Tumble is great for it as well. The key is to always speak with the sign, the end goal is speech. My eldest didn’t say anything really till age 3, signing did help spur him on and get him started, he speaks really well now at almost 6. HV wanted to send him to speech therapy but he didn’t need it in the end. Good luck!

@3babies22

They are both under a pead as they were born premature. He isnt concerned!... but have been referred to a development pead now as aged 2. She saw them and said definately delayed too early to say anything else. She isnt seeing them again until August. Genetic testing all came back normal. They are on SALT waiting list but i have been paying private they also have portage involvement. Nursery senco involved also. I know i cant do more with regards to whos involved. I guess maybe hoped for some similar positive stories from some that had previously been in this position where their little ones had gone on to gain all their skills and communicate. Never thought at 2 id be worrying about their future! :(

Ah, I understand now. You have good oversight which is helpful.

Are you in any support groups for parents with children who had similar experiences e.g. premature birth and possible development delay? That could be helpful, there is possibly a Bliss group or similar near you.

There are loads and loads of positive stories. I am sorry you are worried and - it is really scary but I think you are doing what you can. Keep on talking and talking to your babies, the more you talk the more they have a chance to pick it up. Bliss has forums and lots of stories, I used to read them when I was worried.

I really didn’t know how much my DS understood at 2yrs 9 months because he didn’t speak. He pointed and dragged us to things by that stage. Then he suddenly started speaking and moved to sentences pretty quickly.

I was worried it was a development delay, he’d been induced as he was so tiny and his growth had stopped. His speech still isn’t completely clear and we’re referred to speech therapy but if you’d have told me how much he’d come on in a year I’d have cried with happiness.

Thank you all for your replies. Oh i fully get that! If someone could say to me in a year or 2 or even 5 years from now he will be fine i would be over the moon. Unfortuntely i know they cant lol... really would be interested in anyone whos child didnt have any/little understanding at 2 x

So if you gave him a little task eg ‘Jonny, give this book to Granny’ could he do it?

I’m a nursery nurse and not a SLT specialist, but things that we and parents have been told to do with various children:

Begin sentences with their name, as you want to ensure you have their attention.

Try to make eye contact, as above.

Get them to blow bubbles with you, and blow bubbles through straws; it strengthens the relevant muscles.

Visit animals/watch animal programmes/use animal puppets/sing Old MacDonald and copy the animal noises.
Make it fun and don’t stress.

Those are all easy cheap things to do yourself.

Ah thank you... we do alot of animal noises with them i will try the bubbles but know if i said give that book to granny he would not understand that :(

Has anyone been through similar where there was a delay in understanding along with no speech at just turned two and an update on how they are now did their understanding and speech come in the end? How are they getting on? Please xx

Yes - DS has zero understanding or words or gestures at two, the Paed thought he had autism, we found a speech therapist who specialised in pre-schoolers and he had a 1-1 at nursery, at 2.5 he pointed!!!! and at 3 he spoke his first very unclear words - he wasn't really understandable until 4.5. At the MDA he was officially diagnosed with speech, language and social communication delay.

Couple of things I found helped, Mr Tumble and Makaton signing and the website teachmetotalk.

Oh and he has totally caught up now and doing well in mainstream school, at two I thought he would never talk and we were looking at special schools. I know Dr Google usually suggests autism/learning difficulties but sometimes children like DS are just delayed.

They sound like my twins OP- Although they are both girls. Similar sort of developmental issues mainly speech and language but also very late to walk and some issues with fine motor skills too. They were under communty peads and Early Years intervention but did really catch up. They are 8 now and never stop talking! One is still on the SEN regisiter at school but doing really well- I suspect she is somewhere on the spectrum but I'm not sure she is is autistic enough to get a diagnosis and the other was taken off last year. They hold there own at main stream school and go to things like dancing and music lessons with their peers. When they were little they did stand out as being different and behind but they don't really now- I wonder if they have caught up and the gap has also closed? What I'm trying to say really is that he might need a bit of extra help but really might catch up- The early reports about my daughter (the one still on the SEN register) were awful to read... saying that she was severly delayed etc.. Reading them now you would not think that they were about the same child.