How old were your children when you got to have a lie in?

[Crocodial]

I don't mean the kids coming into your bed with the iPad and you going back to sleep. I'm talking they can go downstairs and fully take care of themselves without setting the house on fire and you could have a peaceful lie in.

Yeah, I'd concur with 4 and 7. Mine are 6 and 9 now and we've been getting weekend lie ins for a while. They quite often don't go downstairs until we get up, they just chill in their room watching their tablets - they often get in bed together and snuggle and giggle.

I know of some people who will lay out breakfast for their DC before they go to bed and that definitely buys you a bit more time if your children are ruled by their stomachs more than mine are and less likely to help themselves to crisps or breadsticks in lieu of breakfast.

Opposite now for me - mine are teenagers and I have to creep around till noon.

I could have got this wrong but did a pp just say they left their two year old downstairs alone while they went up to doze for a couple of hours ? Just wanted to point out that I really wouldn't do that and despite I'm sure they surviving as the poster said it's actually really dangerous, choking etc

I feel like an absolute FOOL for waiting till ds was TEN to do this. Precious first born and only child syndrome, I still felt like I was abandoning him 😂😄😄

@CremeEggThief

I used to bring DS down from about 2, make him breakfast, check the stairgate to the kitchen was locked and go back up for an hour or two at the weekends, to read or doze. I was very lucky already as he seldom got up before 8 or 8.30 a.m.

He was probably closer to 5 when he was allowed down unsupervised.

He's 19 now and has always been independent, able to go on long train journeys on his own from Newcastle to London from 13 or so.

I’m glad this worked out for you but this is really irresponsible, please please for anyone else do not leave your 2 year old on their own for a few hours like this

My eldest was 6, nearly 7 and I trusted them.

But @Pyri - you don't know anything about that posters child. Nothing at all. Their parent would know everything though. Some children you could pop on the sofa with Peppa Pig on and they wouldn't even blink or move a muscle at all. My own second daughter had a very very cautious approach to everything, still does. We didn't need stair gates for her for example because she wouldn't risk trying to climb anything unless she was sure she could get herself safely down. I can't remember if we did go back to sleep when she was 2, but I can remember that if I gave her a pile of clothes to sort, she would do it for hours and hours. So, my point is, you can't judge what someone else should or shouldn't do because you don't know anything about them.

My 10 year old manages to wait until 7ish now. This feels like a lie in compared to before 😭.

Otherwise if my husband is around she'll come in and have a cuddle then go down with him and I can go back to sleep 😁

It was gradual. First they learnt to stay in their room till the clock said 7 (post it note over the minute numbers with a 7 written on it, so the numbers had to match) then 8am, then it evolved to going downstairs where cereal was out on the table for them, and the tv remote handy.

Rewards/bribes helped them stick to the above.

That would depend on the maturity of the child though.

From about 4 we left a pot of cheerios on dd's bedside table and she was allowed to get up and play in her room with books and toys and would come in to us at 8. We now have another dd, so one of us gets up each day.

@arethereanyleftatall you should never leave a two year old alone in a part of the house while you are asleep, that's honestly crazy. I am not at all over protective but really that is obvious no matter what the DC is like. My 2 year old started choking before when I was next to him at the table.
It's not judgement, it's basic parenting to know this.

@Owieeee
So did you stay awake all night every night watching your child sleep then? Because otherwise at one point every single morning, you were still asleep when your child woke up in their own bedroom.

My son is 4 and he usually comes in at 7, asks for something on his ipad and then will happily watch that or play in his bedroom til 9. He doesn't really have the tablet at other times so he really values his lazy morning!

I've got a nearly two year old who has wierdly always been a late sleeper, so if the house stays quiet she will also sleep til about 9. As a small baby, her sleep pattern was midnight til late morning as well, so i think she is just wired up that way. The teen years will be fun...

Ours were up between 6 and 7. On Saturdays DH got up with them and I had a lie in; on Sundays he had a lie in. The children are 27 and 23 - now the cat wakes us unless the DC are home and return in the tiny hours after clubbing/a night out and put some nuts down for him

Around 7 or 8. They can get cereal & watch tv quite happily.

I would say about 9, but an only and always been a poor sleeper.

About 11 and 12

Thanks for the judgement, Owiee.
You must have missed the part where I stayed down while he had breakfast and then went back upstairs to read/doze not sleep. I will add my house was as child proof as it could be, as I am obsessively tidy with nothing out of place (the sort of parent who couldn't understand how young kids managed to draw on walls, for example) and I was an Ofsted registered childminder at the time.

I stand by my choices, as my son is 19 now, at university and working a part-time job and very independent.

@arethereanyleftatall

But *@Pyri* - you don't know anything about that posters child. Nothing at all. Their parent would know everything though. Some children you could pop on the sofa with Peppa Pig on and they wouldn't even blink or move a muscle at all. My own second daughter had a very very cautious approach to everything, still does. We didn't need stair gates for her for example because she wouldn't risk trying to climb anything unless she was sure she could get herself safely down. I can't remember if we did go back to sleep when she was 2, but I can remember that if I gave her a pile of clothes to sort, she would do it for hours and hours. So, my point is, you can't judge what someone else should or shouldn't do because you don't know anything about them.

Nope, you won’t change my mind. I think it’s utterly irresponsible to leave a 2 year old downstairs while you go back to bed.

My toddler is as sensible as a toddler could be and will easily watch Peppa for hours but ultimately, she’s still a toddler and could somehow fall off the sofa / choke on a piece of Lego etc etc

It doesn’t really matter how sensible you think your toddler is, they’re still toddlers and haven’t developed enough of a sense of risk to be left alone safely for all that time

I read that you went downstairs and then went back upstairs with a two year old on their own and dozed- your words. I don't believe this is safe, it's not judgement, it's a fact. There is a huge difference between a sleeping child and one that is two and fully awake downstairs @arethereanyleftatall, there is no way that it is safe to leave a two year old downstairs on their own while a parent sleeps/dozes upstairs. I am sure of this no matter what anyone says and thankfully in RL I've never heard of ppl leaving toddlers on their own downstairs while they went back to bed.

Different people have different thresholds.

Personally, my children were probably about 6 - but actually one of us always got up/was vaguely supervising anyway until they were 10. My middle son is 12 and he’s perfectly capable of sorting his own food and entertaining himself. He’s not keen to get up early these days anyway!

My youngest is a toddler and obviously there is no way I’m leaving him conscious and unsupervised. I do take him downstairs, put a film on and try to relax/doze while he sits next to me on the sofa and watches it. But it’s definitely not actually relaxing and not anything resembling a lie in. It’s more a survival strategy for 6.30am.

My STBEH seems to think that it’s fine to leave toddlers unattended like that though. For hours. His ex (the SC’s mother) seems to share that attitude too. So their kids’ life experience is of getting up and turning the to on whenever they like, and being left to it until their parent(s) feel like getting up. I found it strange when I first met their father, but with hindsight I should have been properly horrified. But I was blind to many red flags.

This is partly why the toddler doesn’t stay overnight with his father. An 18 month old requires supervision of some sort.

Hm I don't even remember, they're 6 and 8 and have been able to go downstairs and play or watch TV for years now. I would say about 3 and 5? They are very sensible kids though, so probably not an option with more adventurous ones.

@RoseMartha

About 11 and 12

Sorry, you mean you would constantly supervise your DC when they were 10 and 11 and would not allow them to get out of bed and get their breakfast? Or did I misunderstand?

My DS is 9 and has been happily going downstairs by himself at 6.30 to watch TV since he was 6ish. Problem is I am so well trained / broken now I'm usually wide awake and desperate for coffee 😭 By 7 it's game over and I might as well get up... I'm hoping that when I retire in 30 or so years I might actually feel able to sleep in ???

I get up before mine - the youngest is 9 now, and it's probably been this way for a year or 2.

I'm incapable of lying in past 9 though.