Toddler not sleeping until 9.30pm

[orangefairy2]

My son is almost 2 and his routine looks something like this:

8am: wake
1.30pm: nap
3pm: wake
8.30pm: bed

But... even though he goes to bed at 8.30pm, he often won't fall asleep until 9.15/9.30pm. He just seems really lively and awake and not sleepy at all. DH is doing the bedtime routine tonight and I can still hear DS wide awake and chattering away upstairs!

Where am I going wrong?

Nap has to go

8am would be a big lie in for my DS (and many 2 year olds!) 10-12 hours overnight is normal so I think if you want him to sleep earlier you need to slowly switch the whole routine earlier so he’s getting up closer to 7.

Cut the nap

The 8am wake. If he’s falling asleep at between 9 and 9:30 and sleeping through, that’s 10.5h to 11h sleep overnight. With a 1.5h nap he’s sleeping 12-12.5h, which is normal for a 2 year old (average being 11-14h). If you want him to go to bed earlier you’ll probably need to get him up earlier and move his nap earlier.

Drop the nap! Some kids need to drop them earlier than others, it will be painful for a week or so as you try to keep him up and you’ll probably have to put him to bed at 6pm for a bit while he adjusts but it’s the only way to stop him staying up so late.

Thanks for the replies. I thought they weren't meant to drop the nap until around age 3 - have I got that wrong?

8am is quiet late to be waking up (I appreciate this is probably because of the late nights). Both my DSs at this age slept around 10-11 hours at night and around 2 in the day so if they're not waking up until 8 I guess they probably aren't that tired earlier on. I used to always wake my DSs at 6:30 if they weren't already awake as they had nursery and they usually go to bed 7:30ish.

Agree about the nap. Try having him up by 2.30pm, if that doesn't help cut it to 2pm and start to phase out.

Every child is different, my DS had to drop his nap just after he turned 2 whereas DD lasted till about 2.5. Be guided by your child and your instincts.

I wouldn’t drop the nap at all. Your DS’ sleep is normal, it just needs shifting back by an hour or so if you want an earlier night.

@orangefairy2

Thanks for the replies. I thought they weren't meant to drop the nap until around age 3 - have I got that wrong?

All children are different, some will drop naps at 2, some not til nearer 4. Most will have dropped them by their 3rd birthday.

Wake him at 7am, nap 12.30-2, bed 7.30
Or
Sleep until 8am, nap 1.15-2, bed 7.30pm

2ish is quite average I think. One of mine stopped napping at 20 months. Painful! Perhaps try to give him 45 minutes and see if that helps? I agree with the others, he's having a 'lie in' compared to most 2 year olds. If you don't need to get up for work/school that's fine and it sounds blissful but you can't have a lie in, an early bedtime AND a nap!

Does the 8am wake up work for you? If yes I'd leave him as is. It's a compromise - early to bed, early to wake.

Get him up at 7am. The naps should eventually move a little earlier and then he should eventually learn to sleep at 8am.

It's not a bad schedule, it's just shifted later than most 2 year olds. Mine at that age was up at 6, nap 12-2, bed at 7 - very similar to yours but just all shifted earlier

No don't get rid of nap for an almost 2 year old. Wake up 7am. Nap from 12 to 2pm then bed by 7pm. If he's still awake chatting to himself in bed but being good and staying in bed then does it really matter if he falls asleep a little bit later than you want ? See it as his winding down time. My daughter would always want to take a little figurine or book into bed and some nights we'd hear her chatting to herself for ages before eventually falling asleep. Didn't bother us though as she never got up. 8.30pm for a 2 year old is quite late imo.

Mine were similar, suited me

Nap needs to be 12:30 - max 2pm. 07:30am wake.

My dd never wakes before 8am, we dropped nap at 3yo, and now she sleeps 8-8 .

I like the 8am wake up, wouldnt want it earlier, so would be happy with the slightly later night.

Why do you want to change it?

I agree, with some other posters. Cutting the nap before your babe is 3 means your child will be completely overtired from about 3:30 which leads to them being clumsy and hurting themselves. I just think you start the day too late and the nap is too late.

Before she's 2*

I would bring the whole routine forward and hour. The late to bed is due to the late nap which is due to the later morning start.

Or if you don't want to loose the late start, cut the nap in half and bring bed time forward to compensate.

But whatever you do it will take a week or so to settle into a new routine so don't expect an overnight miracle. I have 2.8 month old and she's only just occasionally dropping the nap herself, but by 6:30 she's ready for bed and 7am wake up when she drops it.

If he's still awake chatting to himself in bed but being good and staying in bed then does it really matter if he falls asleep a little bit later than you want ? See it as his winding down time.

Not especially, but either DH or I tend to stay with him in the room until he's fallen asleep - which means we don't see much of each other at the moment!

As suggested I'm going to try shifting everything forward by an hour I think, to hopefully get an earlier bedtime.

@gemloving

I agree, with some other posters. Cutting the nap before your babe is 3 means your child will be completely overtired from about 3:30 which leads to them being clumsy and hurting themselves. I just think you start the day too late and the nap is too late.

Children are all different, there is no set age to drop a nap. Mine both stopped napping at 18 months, was not my choice they just didn't fall asleep anymore. But they certainly weren't clumsy or hurting themselves.