Balancing DD's right to wear what she chooses with worry that she'll attract upsetting male attention

[FairPeter]

DD travelled on her own to a 18th party last night by train (1.5 hours away). She was in a jacket, trousers, trainers and bralet top. I suggested a coat and she said no. (I wasn't worrying about the cold so much as unwanted attention on the train.)
She got quite badly hassled on the train by a bunch of football supporters. When she got back this morning, I said "please wear a coat next time" and she was furious and said that she couldn't believe my first reaction was to blame her for her clothing, not the men who hassled her. And I think she's right. I'm 50 and grew up hiding/camouflaging to avoid being hassled on public transport - being scared, basically. She says she should be able to wear what she likes and they can f* off. Yet I still worry about her on her own on public transport (she's 17 and attractive). Is there a balance here to be had or should I 100% support her right to wear what she likes? I can't bear the thought of her being hassled - though I gotta say I admire her for her attitude. Any advice?

It's hard I have teen daughters and I fully believe they should wear whatever they want and they are not the problem. But I want them to be safe and protect themselves even thigh they shouldn't have to.

By ‘hassled’ do you mean your 17 year old was sexually harassed by a group of adult men while using public transport? Do you think that a coat would have made a difference? I don’t.

Your daughter is right and you were totally playing into ancient and horribly sexist attitudes.

Let her wear what she wants me focus your energy on standing up to these appalling and outdated attitudes that a man's behaviour is a woman's responsibility.

She had a jacket on, so it’s not like she was sat there with just the bralet on display.

Either way, if she’s an attractive young woman I imagine she’d have unfortunately been hassled by (probably drunk) football fans regardless.

@Pyewhacket

Depends what time of day. I wouldn't travel on my own on public transport in London after 9 pm. Nor would any of my kids, of either sex.

Really?? I’ve felt far more unsafe on local regional trains than busy London transport! Never felt unsafe in London, always loads of people around

Following with interest. Do you think it would endanger her (or other who did the same) to film the behavior of the scumbags on the train? Sometimes people will stop disgusting behavior if they're being filmed.

i doubt it.
filming may lead to violence and almost certainly to violent destruction of the phone.

@alexdgr8

i doubt it. filming may lead to violence and almost certainly to violent destruction of the phone.

You're probably right. People are so shit.