6yo won't get up to use toilet at night

[Iwanttenofthose]

6yo bed wets but is awake sitting up when she does it.

Sometimes more than once in a night. We've followed all the advice about cutting out juice, no drinks after dinner, big wee before bed. Lifted as an experiment which didn't help.

All the advice I see online is about bed wetting when asleep but she is awake and sitting up when she does it. She doesn't say much but has mentioned it's too dark. She has two night lights, one on each side of the bed, and a torch positioned next to one of the night lights where she can see it. She used it the first night she had it and we gave her lots of praise but she hasn't used it since .

No idea where to go with this as she just clams up and says "I don't know" any time I try to ask what stops her from getting up or if there's anything I can do to make it easier for her.

Do you leave the toilet light on, and the hall one as well?
It's a long way to go when you're scared of the dark.

How long has this been happening, if she's out of nappies for a few years? What did she do when she was aged 4 and 5 for example?

@RobertSmithsLipstick

Do you leave the toilet light on, and the hall one as well? It's a long way to go when you're scared of the dark.

I've put a nightlight in the hall but maybe that's not enough, good shout

@Felicity42

How long has this been happening, if she's out of nappies for a few years? What did she do when she was aged 4 and 5 for example?

It's been happening on and off ever since she's been out of pull ups at night. She goes through phases where it happens every night then can be dry for a few weeks or more before it happens again. She's never got up to go to the toilet independently with the exception of the first night she had the torch, but that was Christmas and she hasn't done it since.

I was very afraid of the dark as a kid, but more afraid of my mum, so I used to get up, but that walk down the hall and back again was terrifying!
The shadowy bits hide all sorts of monsters.

Just put a pull up on her and don’t stress. More likely than not, she will grow out of it.

How about under the bed?
Any space there for a bogeyman to skulk around?
Actually putting my feet out of the bed was a huge worry.
I didn't really grow out of that one until my 30s.

@SuperSleepyBaby

Just put a pull up on her and don’t stress. More likely than not, she will grow out of it.

I wish I could! She won't tolerate pull ups, or even those waterproof pads to slip under her to save me from doing a full sheet change every time. As soon as she hears a crinkle or it doesn't feel like her normal sheets she just freaks out.

She is really, really sensitive and anxious in general so I don't want to force the issue tbh as I think it'd disrupt her sleep more than the wetting herself is.

@RobertSmithsLipstick

How about under the bed? Any space there for a bogeyman to skulk around? Actually putting my feet out of the bed was a huge worry. I didn't really grow out of that one until my 30s.

Thanks for your replies, they've really made me think more from her perspective.

I suggested she have a potty in her room and she totally freaked out because she hates anything babyish, but I think I might slip one in there tomorrow without making a big deal of it, and leave more lights on too and see where that gets us.

Just speaking for myself, but I wouldn't have got out of bed and down onto a potty.
Too low, too near where the creatures hide.

I hope you can sort it out, anyway.
Would she wear the incontinence or period pants to bed?

My DC has a potty in her room. Maybe buy a special one that is not babyish?
We have incontinence pads and a special mattress protector. Do you change bedding every night? Bless you, what a lot of washing!

You can find childrens chamber pots on ebay etc, I know people think they are old fashioned, but they make childrens ones, with all sorts of patterns and designs on them, like animals, birds flowers, and all sorts, They are not used ones for sale, just new ones. mostly. This would be better than wetting the bed, if you could tempt her to use one, maybe show her some pictures of some on the internet..

I have got a large china Chamber pot with handles on it, Its all painted with Highland cattle on it,in some fields, But use it to put a large house plant into it..

Don’t call it a potty, call it a commode and explain that is what people used when they didn’t have indoor toilets or they were too far away 😊

OP I use a washable bed pad. It doesn't crinkle. Admittedly I use it in case DC's nappy leans so it rarely gets wet but I've seen on the reviews it being used for adults so perhaps try one of those?

Buy a camping toilet, a chemical one that you only need to empty twice a week, cost maybe £70 but will save washing & changing the bed, stick a motion sensor light at the side of the toilet& bed.

I second the washable pad, we had a large one for when my DD was first out of night time nappies, no crinkling and was advertised as for use with children and the elderly, saved us a lot of washing in the begining.

What about those fancy lights in her favourite colour you can place in the toilet ? They are usually bright enough to glow across the landing
Powerole Toilet Motion Sensor Light, 16 Colors Changing Sensor LED Washroom Night Light Inside Toliet Lamp, PIR Motion Activated Waterproof Bathroom Accessory, Fits Any Toilet www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B08GPVCWSK/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_glt_i_N9SABZ7VHW8JA736HG3S?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1

Maybe a full waterproof sheet? My ds one doesn't crinkle it goes under normal sheet to protect mattress. Also could try to take her for a wee when you go to bed. You can get an alarm which would wake you but it's likely to be too late be time you get there. You can refer to a children in continence team through school or gp for support.

Can you put the pull up on when she is in a deep sleep maybe?

Is she scared of the toilet flushing? I used to be terrified (but only at night, everything is scarier at night). I had to flush and run as quick as possible in case it exploded. Could be something like that but she doesn't want to tell you. I'd leave the hall light on and the bathroom light on and perhaps her door ajar if it isn't already and if the light doesn't keep her awake.

Am I right in thinking she wakes up to pee but won't go to the toilet so wets the bed? If so I would tell her to shout you if needed and you'll take her to toilet as well as hall light on.

My dh takes my ds to the toilet every night around 10/11 when he goes to bed. Ds is half asleep and never remembers it but when dh has forgotten he has wet the bed. Could be something to try?

Are you sure she's fully awake? Sometimes people who sleep walking or having night terrors can seem awake but aren't.

I would leave the lights in the hall and bathroom on. Nightlights are no good because they leave too many dark patches/shadows. You need full lights on.

Could you also tell her that she can call you to take her for a wee? Still disruptive, but probably better than her wetting the bed.

She probably should be able to hold her wee overnight though is she's going before she goes to bed and isn't drinking through the night, so I'd also check on that. Does she wee excessively during the day?

We have LED sensor lights in both kids bedrooms, on the landing and in the bathroom. No lights left on over night but they have lights when they need them, stopped bed wetting and the shooting for someone to take them to the toilet within days

I would agree with the other suggestions about leaving a light on. It's not ideal but it might help her. I slept with my light on for years because my brother told me sharks lived under my bed and came out at night when it got dark