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Parenting

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Original poster

The constant interaction is driving me nuts

43 replies

DueyCheatemAndHow · 28/02/2022 17:52

He's 3.5. He cannot do anything without a seminar or discussion. Will not play alone. Is constantly being silly- today he was dipping his puzzle pieces in his milk when I turned my back then let the milk dribble out of his mouth on to the floor. At swimming decided to start biting everything when we were getting changed - the towel, his shoes, his clothes. Can't go to the loo alone because he either wees all over his trousers, floods the bathroom with the tap, hurts himself etc. He wakes so early he is exhausted. At lunch he put his hand in a pan.thankfully I had drained it of water. Then he sits down to lunch and falls off his chair.

He constantly bothers his little sister, 'hugs' her but makes her cry. Is now on the sofa watching TV but keeps trying to swing on the curtains.

I'm exhausted. It's constant from the moment he wakes up. I'm either saying 'stop doing x', 'hold on a minute 'just let me do x'or 'come on'.

I'm totally out of my depth and I'm bloody exhausted. I just want him to play for 2 minutes.

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Rewritethestars1 · 28/02/2022 18:00

Yep that's a 3 year old. My youngest is 4 and exactly the same. It is exhausting you have my sympathy. It gets easier when they are about 6.

Original poster

DueyCheatemAndHow · 28/02/2022 18:02

I really shouted at him today after he decided he wanted to be nude to pretend to be at the beach. So I took his clothes off, he went to the beach in our pantry and then 10 secs later was throwing the cereal everywhere.

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itsgettingweird · 28/02/2022 18:19

Do you have a garden?

Sounds like he's a kid who needs a lot of running around.

Some just do.

Have you tried a glo clock for mornings?

Have you tried reward chart with a few things you want to work on and a good reward at the end that's motivating?

It's really hard but try and ignore the unwanted behaviour and really praise the good.

So just remove the puzzle pieces without speaking - at his age he knows it's not ok but knows he'll get a reaction by doing something silly!

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TeeBee · 28/02/2022 18:24

Keep him busy, keep him exercised.
I always had little ziplock bags of things to do for my eldest DS because he was not good when bored. Cutting out, jigsaws, ball games, Lego, marbles, magic painting. I also had to get him engaged in whatever jobs needed to be done so he was busy. Lots and lots of praise and fun. Maybe just accept it's going to be chaos for a while. He'll get there.

pompomseverywhere · 28/02/2022 18:27

3 year old are total dicks aren't they.

Does he go to preschool?

Original poster

DueyCheatemAndHow · 28/02/2022 18:40

He goes to preschool 2.5 days a week. We have a garden but I also have a little one and the weather has been a nightmare ' he basically only wants me to push him on the swing.

Any activity ends up with me. He wanted to draw this morning- which was him sitting there telling me what he wanted me to draw.

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CoodleMoodle · 28/02/2022 18:46

I feel you OP. Mine is 3.5 and he's been an absolute dickhead today. I love him but right now I really just want him to go to bed.

It's worse when there's another sibling as well - DD is older than him but he's constantly hurting her, touching her stuff, ruining her games, etc. I spend all of my time keeping him away from her, which isn't fair on her because she gets zero time with me. I hate it.

I feel like I've lost nearly four years of her life because DS is so full on all the time. DD was chatty and couldn't play by herself (getting better at 8!), but he's on another level.

BigGreyEagle · 28/02/2022 18:47

My SIL once told me her DS was like a dog and needed to be taken out for a run every day. She got used to going out in all weathers.

bitchinofhitchen · 28/02/2022 18:52

@DueyCheatemAndHow

He goes to preschool 2.5 days a week. We have a garden but I also have a little one and the weather has been a nightmare ' he basically only wants me to push him on the swing.

Any activity ends up with me. He wanted to draw this morning- which was him sitting there telling me what he wanted me to draw.

You are also describing my son. 3 years old and I find myself getting totally frustrated every hour

ihavechangedmyname54321 · 28/02/2022 19:42

Very very familiar Op. my DS (just turned 3) also loves to “draw” ie sit there telling me what to draw, 99% of the time it’s the same flipping thing too. I thought his older brother was needy at this age but I had no idea. 3 year old won’t even play at soft play without me/chasing after his older brother whilst crying/tantrumming. I tried to hold my friend’s new baby today and he wouldn’t even allow me that!

Rewritethestars1 · 28/02/2022 20:21

Yes op mine bit the end off my brand new expensive lipstick today. I never buy expensive make up but made an exception for a treat. Then she emptied the shampoo while I was trying to do some jobs. She hears me telling her no, gets this look in her eyes then runs with whatever it is im trying to take back and I have to chase her and wrestle it out of her hands. Luckily she goes to pre school now.
Don't beat yourself up about the shouting it happens. Chin up.

AutumnVibes · 01/03/2022 04:17

This is word for word my 3yo son too. I spend a lot of time googling various developmental disorders before coming back to the conclusion he’s just really hard work and it will likely be fine in the end. I’ll be a grey haired shell of a woman by then though. He’s also rough and aggressive some of the time with our new baby too which really triggers me. Not much wisdom to share, sorry, though his is definitely worse when tired (which is more or less always is since he likes to wake at 5am - or if I am really lucky 6am at the absolute latest). Obviously he doesn’t nap, but if he is especially awful and I need him not to be (eg going to a party or something) I put him in the car and drive round till he sleeps. I can only do that early in the day though (before lunch) and if I know he’ll have a tiring afternoon otherwise he won’t go to bed till way too late. Sending strength.

PinkSyCo · 01/03/2022 04:29

It’s been a long while since I’ve had a 3 year old but don’t most little boys need a bit of help in the loo at that age. Apart from that your DS does sound pretty exhausting. Could he be trying to steal some attention away from your younger DC perhaps? You say he is waking very early. What time is that? How long has it been going on for? What time is he going to bed?

Flatandhappy · 01/03/2022 05:02

3 was the worst age with DS1, luckily at that stage he was an only. Tiring him out completely was the only way to stay sane so we were out and about regardless of the weather, obviously not easy for you with a little one. It does also sound like he is attention seeking though, probably also to do with little sister. I’m sure you have already tried ignoring the bad and only noticing and responding to the good - easier said than done I know. It does get better……

autienotnaughty · 01/03/2022 05:06

I found getting out and about helped. Playgroups, soft play, park etc. I also found a routine calmed my son. So similar sort of layout to each day. I didn't do much housework but rather focused on kids. He sounds like a sensory seeker he might like cause and effect toys . Chewlery for his chewing or a small flannel works well. Lots of exercise we got a little trampoline in house. If there's something he does that takes his full attention (usually phones or devices) save them for when u need a break or when you really can't give your full attention.

Original poster

DueyCheatemAndHow · 01/03/2022 05:09

He's been awake since 4.45. He will now be totally insufferable albeit lunch and absolutely need a nap.

I honestly don't know how to carry on.

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Original poster

DueyCheatemAndHow · 01/03/2022 05:11

I've tried earlier bedtimes, later bedtimes etc...
He's so much worse when he is tired.
I actually hate my life.

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WindyKnickers · 01/03/2022 05:14

Sadly this is normal. Mine never really did the naughty/dangerous stuff but is still a total drain of my energy at nearly 7 years old. Needs constant physical exercise or he's leaping off the back of the sofa/backflipping in my bed. Always wants to 'help' in the kitchen which means everything takes twice as long. Wants to play board games that are too old for him then has massive tantrums within minutes. Talks non stop and all day its "mummy, mummy, mummy". Occasionally I get glimpses of peace when he plays with lego for 20 mins but it doesn't last long.

AutumnVibes · 01/03/2022 05:48

Yeah, I genuinely find life depressing too. And it puts a massive strain on our relationship too. I can’t think of anything beyond him because he’s so consuming. I’ve asked the HVnfor advice, she’s recommended a parenting course I might take her up on. I’m a teacher and think he’s generally pretty well brought up, but I’m clutching at any sort of straw on offer. Maybe see if yours has anything similar to offer.

Original poster

DueyCheatemAndHow · 01/03/2022 05:49

@AutumnVibes teacher here too...

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Covidwoes · 01/03/2022 06:12

Teacher here too, and I've been awake since 5.30 with my 3 yo DD! We have spent hundreds of pounds trying to get her to sleep later, and it has all been a waste of money! She also needs to be constantly engaged. We have never been to the cinema or theatre, as there's no way she would sit through anything. She doesn't watch TV, and is really hard work in restaurants (won't even watch a tablet, never mind do stickers, colouring etc). On the plus side, we have no screen time battles! Unless we are in bed, reading her a story involves her listening to it while on the move (interestingly she does take it all in). Her grandparents have been visiting, and they got 2 pages into a book before she got up and started running around. Getting her to sit still at the table at mealtimes is hard work. She falls off the chair often. She is at nursery 3 days a week and is fine there, sits beautifully! However, she is a lovely kid. She's bright, you can have the best conversations with her as she speaks so well, and she is very loving. Out of interest, does your DS speak really well? I'm wondering if they need constant stimulation as their brains are so busy. It's tiring though, very tiring.

Yourheartwillleadyouhome · 01/03/2022 06:37

How is he with other kids? I used to find a daily meet up with another crazy 3 year old was very helpful! In the park especially. And yes, swimming to tire them out.

OnceuponaRainbow18 · 01/03/2022 06:47

Yup also my 3 year of to the T, and non stop talking, all day loooooooong! He’s also got no fear and can’t control any impulses so is a danger to himself and others. It’s exhausting. I also Google behavioural needs daily

starrynight21 · 01/03/2022 07:06

My DD is 36 but I still remember that terrible time. I honestly thought I was going to need psychiatric intervention, either for me or for her. She suddenly changed into a lovely child, at 5 when she went to school. You have my sympathy op, I wish I knew the answer.

I might add that when DDs children got to that stage she put them into child care. So karma never came back to bite her !

Original poster

DueyCheatemAndHow · 01/03/2022 07:32

@Covidwoes yes he does, his language skills are very developed

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