Grandparents want my child to stay over..

[Firstbaby1234]

My partners mother has asked to have my son overnight since he was around 3 weeks, he is now 11 weeks and I still don’t feel comfortable leaving him to stay over and not being with me. I feel like I am being so pressured!! Any advice?

Just say - "Please stop asking - we will tell you when we need your help if that situation arises - but until then, please stop asking, because the answer will always be the same."

If she asks again, say the same thing again, and again as required. Do not engage in further discussion. Make sure OH says the same thing.

And let her strop - just ignore it.

To be honest it sounds perfectly normal in some circles

I'm not a grandparent but plenty of my friends and colleagues are and they've had the grandchild from a week or two from being born. Im not saying it's right or wrong on just pointing out that people who are saying a child is too young, it isnt always the case.
It does tend to be with families where they are very close to each other.
If you dont want to that's fine as well.

I didn't leave mine overnight with mil until about 10 months.
H
Just say no that's not the way your family is going to work.

Just say that it sound great, you'll let her know when you feel ready.
If she asks when that will be say you won't know until you feel ready she'll just need to be patient ..............and repeat.

I never understand grandparents that pressure mother's to let their newborns stay the night. It's weird.

It is obviously completely up to you but it is normal in some circles so I don't think it's such an unreasonable request.

You do what suits you though and she absolutely shouldn't be pressuring you.

Still haven’t left my 3yo overnight! No one would want her little clammy hand kicky foot cosleeping ways, mind.

Are these requests happening in person or via text? In person, say “You’ve asked before and been told the answer is no. Your repeatedly asking is making me uncomfortable and makes me want to cut down on your visits.” Then stop arranging time with her. If text, answer “No. please stop asking.” Then mute her number.

My DD is 20 months and DS is 7 months and other than when I was in labour and DD went to my SIL, there will be absolutely no sleeping over anywhere for a long time to come! Each to there own but if you're not ready don't let them pressure you into it. They may be the grandparents but YOU ARE THE PARENTS! It's YOUR baby!

I think you really need to send her a text message like 'thank you for your offer but please stop pressuring me, it is upsetting me greatly. We have decided he won't be staying with anyone overnight until he is at least 2 years old. Please understand and please respect our wishes.'

@Firstbaby1234

My partner is very supportive and he does say to his mother that our son needs to be with mummy and daddy right now but then she takes a strop! I have kindly said no and thanked her for the offer but she still asks every week! I say the same thing every week and that is that he is too young and I am not ready for sleepovers. Her reply is back when my partner was a child he was staying with her mum from 3 weeks.. she really doesn’t give up!

As her why she's so desperate to have him on her own?

I never understand grandparents that pressure mother's to let their newborns stay the night. It's weird

Yes. See also pressuring to stop breastfeeding so they can look after the baby, and the implication that you’re selfish if you won’t let others feed the baby.

Tell her ´maybe when he’s 2/5/7 years old. That’s when I started staying with my grandparents sometimes’

Politely but firmly decline. You’ll definitely appreciate help when they’re older but 11 weeks is too young to expect that.

Put your foot down and say no. Make sure your partner has your back on thisI had this with my MIL. She's stopped asking. DD is 7 and has never stayed there. I dont mind so much now older but DH and we love having DD around.

"Thanks, we've discussed this, prefer not to in first year"...on repeat, literally repeat in monotone when required.

*and I

Your his mum and it has to be on your terms, when you’re comfortable. I’m a pretty independent mum and have left my baby at 8 weeks whilst we popped to london to see frozen (for the day). There will be no sleepovers for a while yet, until it suits us and we need overnight childcare

You don't need to agree to any sleepover until you and child are ready ... for some that means no sleep overs until the child asks for them