Can I overfeed my ebf baby?

[PlantMummy87]

My lo is 10 weeks old and ebf. We are first time parents. When lo was born the midwives and HV all said you can't overfeed a ebf and to offer breast when baby was showing signs of hunger or if you needed due to breasts being full, or if you just wanted to for bonding etc.

My PIL think I overfeed lo, although both their babies were formula fed so not really sure they can advise on ebf babies. But now my husband is starting is to hint he thinks I am overfeeding our lo now as he'll make a comment about me offering boob 'again' to lo, or if I need to feed little one as my boobs as engorged he says I'm only doing this for me and not for lo's benefit. Obviously it's uncomfortable being engorged or leaking which I don't think he understands. If I'm at home and if lo is asleep I'll try and express and freeze this but often lo will be asleep on my and I can't get to the pump, but if we are out I offer boob to lo. Husband thinks that the advice about you not being able to overfeed a breastfed baby is just for the newborn stage and now we are out of that I should be more careful about how often I'm offering it to lo and should maybe be starting to think about implementing a bit more of a routine as opposed to feeding on demand. Just to add husband would never want lo to be hungry so he's not suggesting to ignore lo's hunger cues at all!

Lo doesn't really do long feeds anymore like they used to, and we usually have 5 mins here and there, sometimes even less, but many times a day about up to 20 times a day, they do get so distracted now. Sometimes they'll maybe a longer feed of 15-20min feed maybe once a day. Am I creating a bad habit by allowing this? I think sometimes the short ones are just purely for comfort.

Also now lo is starting to sleep longer at night can I let them sleep for as long as they want to and not do a dream feed and just pump out the milk if they aren't wanting it or if I'm not engorged/leaking just not do anything or will this make my supply go down?

Lo hasn't been weighed by HV in ages but was around 30th centile at last check in so not big. There's nothing making me worry that they've put on too much, other than my mum and PIL always calling lo 'big', 'chunky', 'fatty', 'heffalump' etc. This is something I want to address as lo is growing up as don't want them to be body shamed. Lo has lovely little rolls on their legs and a bit of a tummy, but I know they'll lose this when they start being mobile, and they are still firmly in 0-3 month clothing with room to spare for a while yet.

Thanks for reading, sorry it's a long one!

They are all talking nonsense. I always fed on demand until my child was two when I stopped. Feed your baby whenever they want it, your supply will adjust to fit their pattern of feeding.

You will not overfeed them, you're doing exactly right. Breastfeeding and milk are amazing in that they regulate for your baby. It's like magic!

@PlantMummy87 bloody PILs always have an opinion don't they? People who have never breastfed don't understand that some baby's are on the breast all the time, and not just for feeding. Ignore what others say. Do what's best for you and your baby!

You are doing absolutely everything right! You can’t overfeed your baby but you can tel your PIL to do one

Seriously though, you’re doing great and everything is developmentally normal!

You’re absolutely right to feed on demand. Your baby is still pretty much brand new and you and she are finding your rhythm. Cluster feeding and feeding for comfort as well as nutrition is all very normal as are your breasts adapting your milk supply. Things will settle, but expect there to be new phases with feeding and sleeping as that’s normal too. Babies really don’t develop in a straight line trajectory.

Gaining weight is a huge positive for babies (eg the HV weigh ins to check they’re thriving) and the gorgeous rolls on tummies and legs are wonderful byproduct for snuggling! An EBF baby tracking birthweight on 99 centile is still a healthy baby.

Hopefully you’ll get reassurance on this thread. It’s easy to second guess everything as a first time mum

Also with regards to your question about night time. When my lo started sleeping longer my boobs kind of just worked it out themselves! I’d of been engorged at the start in the mornings but just fed off both sides as soon as she woke. I never pumped (this stimulates more milk production) so just over the course of weeks everything just worked itself out. If you are waking up in the middle of the night maybe just hand express for comfort but I wouldn’t totally empty the boob as you’re telling your body it needs to make that night time milk then! I hope that makes sense!

I fed my babies on demand till they wanted to give up. 13 months for ds, 23 for dd. They are more tall lean and healthy teens.
If you want a professional opinion check with your health visitor, who will tell you ( ir better still your husband) that what you are doing is right.
I would knock all the body shaming in the head too, some pair just don’t get it and you have to give it to them in black and white. I remember explaining to my mother that it was she who had taught me that personal remarks were not acceptable, so why was she dropping so many?

They’re wrong. You’re not over feeding.

People often forget that breast milk is a drink as well as food. You’re keeping baby hydrated as well as feeding them. Sometimes your milk is rich and fatty, other times it is thinner and more refreshing. It changes depending on exactly what your baby needs.

You are doing the absolute best for your baby. Tell your DH to go and read up about the contents of breast milk, or just keep quiet. Tell the PILs that it’s nine if their bloody business.

I fed on demand till we stopped breastfeeding. 10 weeks is tiny. They don't need routines or to be prevented from feeding when they want to. Breastfeeding is about more than nutrition too; it's also about comfort and closeness.

You cannot over feed a breastfed baby, you are doing the right thing by feeding on demand. Don't listen to them.

And this comment would make me very annoyed:
'he says I'm only doing this for me and not for lo's benefit'

What does he think breastfeeding is if not for your child's benefit?

Ohh and another note, feeding for comfort is fine. It’s not a bad habit. In fact, when little one’s wobbly steps turn into falling over, or when naughty teeth are hurting their gums, or anything else makes them sad or worried or hurt, that comfort feed is absolutely magical. A one-stop-whip-out-a-boob-quick-fix. Comforting your baby is never a bad habit.

What everyone else said! Tell PIL to Google it. Hopefully that will shut them up.

You can't overfeed a bf baby it will just stop feeding.

They are subtly undermining you bf though. Don't listen you're doing brilliantly

Sounds like you're doing everything perfectly, other than letting your misinformed in laws make you doubt yourself.

You can't overfeed them. I've tried to force a nipple in to a baby's mouth that isn't interested and you literally can't make them feed if they don't want to (that sounds weird...it was my baby 😂). Absolutely fine and normal to feed for comfort. Also absolutely fine to feed when you're engorged - a midwife told me that the change from "feed on demand" to "responsive feeding" was because you should also feed in response to your body, when you need to, not just when baby shows hunger cues.

As others have said, some babies are just snackers. Mine both were, so countless quick feeds throughout the day was totally normal for us. I found, more so with DD, she just suddenly got really efficient around 3 months as well and feeds all dropped to 5 minutes where they'd previously been much longer.

As for the "you're doing it for yourself". Sigh. I mean, it would be absolutely fine if you were. Perfectly valid reason to breastfeed. But GOD the number of times men (all men) told me I was just feeding my one year old for myself now. Yes, I just loved restricting my caffeine and alcohol intake, only being able to wear clothes with boob access, being the only one who could settle him to sleep and never being able to sleep comfortably because there was a baby attached to my boob all night. It was alllllllll for me.

Excuse the rant. Well done OP and keep going! You're doing a great job ☺️

Oh actually one last comment. No routines. Don't do it. That way, madness lies. Babies will do whatever they want, and their habits and needs change so frequently that trying to establish a routine is just setting yourself up to fail. Just go with the flow. And from a feeding perspective, I think not needing to plan when you're going to feed in advance is one of the benefits of breastfeeding and I'm all for taking full advantage of those benefits!

You are doing a fab job. Sometimes my 3 wanted long feeds, sometimes lots of short feeds. It changed back and forth at different stages of their growth, just like the milk itself changes to meet your baby's needs. Your body and your baby know what's best. Ignore anyone else, you are doing a brilliant job :-)

You’re doing an amazing job - ignore you PILs who don’t have the first clue!

I had an EBF baby who was on the 98th centile!

Luckily I didn’t have insidious relations dripping unhelpful thoughts into my head, because believe me, I did worry about her 98th centile status.

She’s now a long, lean 11YO at the bottom end of the kids’ healthy BMI range.

Oh these threads make me so wistful and sigh with the memories of snuggling with my baby and thinking to hell with the world because I was doing what I was born to, feeding my baby.
It's the one time in your life when it's ok to think no further than you and your baby.
What I wouldn't give to go back 21 years and truly appreciate what a magical time that was.
You are doing so well and screw any one that says other wise. I wish someone would have told me that at the time 💐

As everyone has said, you absolutely cannot overfeed a breastfed baby.

Just be careful regarding pumping to relieve the pressure. Your boobs will produce more milk the more you pump so you could get stuck in a cycle of pumping to relieve discomfort and then having to pump more and more as your boobs are upping supply to meet the demand. When I was uncomfortable, I would just hand express a little into the sink.

Thank you everyone for the replies, it's definitely helped me so much to read them all and see that I am absolutely doing the right thing for my little one.

I think my husband lacks confidence as a dad, so often if his parents say something he'll follow that advice as they've done it before and we haven't. But guidelines obviously change, and a lot of the things we've done like breastfeeding they didn't even do, so I think I need to help build his confidence a bit, but also believe in my instincts too.

Thanks again 😊

Very sensible advice from everyone here!
I just thought it was worth asking, if you’re regularly engorged/leaking and bub is feeding for 5 mins but 20 times a day - is there any chance you have a bit of an oversupply going on? If so, I agree with PP about not pumping in order to try to give your breasts the feedback to make a bit less. One thing I found helpful was the haakaa - you can just stick it on, drain off the letdown and chuck it (or freeze it if you can be bothered) without stimulating your breasts very much. I had oversupply for 9 months before it eventually settled down and am still feeding at 20 months whilst pregnant. It can be done! Sorry if this doesn’t apply to you and you just have a snacker

@PlantMummy87 just wondering how you're getting on now? My baby is 11 weeks and snacks and has long feeds like you described yours did, I find it hard to get out and about because of it, did that settle down? My baby has stomach pain and I keep wondering if I'm overfeeding her too. Heeeelllpp 😱

@Moguai as many people have said you really can't over feed a breast fed baby. Think about it this way as an adult sometimes you just want a few mouthfuls of a drink other times you are really thirsty and need a big glass of water - you baby is the same (although obviously not drinking water!). She's probably got trapped wind - happens to the best of us and it does pass as they get older and move around more.

If you are concerned about feeding away from home would draping a muslin over your shoulder, boob and babies head make you feel a bit more comfortable? I did that for a while but these days I generally don't worry about it too much, wearing breastfeeding friendly clothes helps - cardigans are great because they still cover you whilst you are feeding so you don't feel massively exposed. You can get tops with zips and pockets over your boobs but I know people who also wear two strappy tops and pull one top down and one too up so just a very little bit if their boob is out. As your baby gets bigger though their head covers your nipple and a lot of your boob x

I always thought of BFing as the reset button for babies.
Hungry? BF
Thirsty? BF
Tired? BF
Cold? BF
Hot? BF
Constipated? BF
Poorly? BF
Upset? BF

I tried sticking to one of these bloody routines and spacing out feeds etc with DD1. It was hellish. With DS and DD2 I fed on demand and also offered the boob when e.g. I wanted to go out. Made life much easier and they were gorgeous butterballs as babies. Soon as they started moving about they lost the baby weight and have always been slim and able to regulate what they eat.

There is so much nonsense advice about feeding babies. Your baby is stil tiny and will be relying on just you and your milk for several months yet. Smile and nod but ignore your ILs and point out to your DH that parenting advice has changed since they had babies.

Thank you, it's just so hard, sometimes it seems like she just wants to suckle for comfort but my milk flows so easily it still comes out, then she seems to get annoyed by it but not sure if she's actually fussing coz of the pain she already had. What a minefield. I read that sometimes they can't keep up with digestion of lots of milk too, I really want to believe you can't overfeed them but her belly goes crackers all the time. I thought it was oversupply as I tried pumping most of it out before bed a while back and she was ok but I'm not gona keep doing that or I'll up my supply. I've tried cutting dairy, caffeine sugar, garlic, onions, spicy food, gassy foods, had her a massage, craniosacral therapy, different stretches, different feeding positions, everything I can think of. 😢 I feel lost.