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Original poster

Does anyone else out there not have ANYONE they can ask to babysit? Haven't been out together for almost 2 years now, and it's getting me down...

58 replies

GreenGlassGoblin · 02/01/2008 09:51

That's it really. Family all live 80-100 miles away, no close friends, NCT antenatal group lovely and we still meet up, but although we've talked a few times about starting a babysitting circle all the others have friends/family who babysit for them regularly already, so nothing has happened. What can I do? DH and I haven't been out together since DS was born, and he'll be 2 in a couple of months...

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LIZS · 02/01/2008 09:53

Does he go to nursery ? If so could you ask one of the assistants there ? Local church or neighbours may have contacts otherwise.

brandybutterhelsy · 02/01/2008 09:53

I sympathise - don't have family locally either, but I do swap babysitting with other friends with children. Can you advertise in a local shop (with caution and as many checks as you can, obviously)? Ask the local nursery if any of their nursery nurses babysit? Are there any families near you with older teenagers?

mustmakeyouamanmore · 02/01/2008 09:54

Hang in there. We diidnt go out for the first 2 years of ds1's life.same situation as you. Its only this last year, with ds2's birth, that I've found different friends. I have good friends from long ago, but they would never babysit.But I have 2 quite new ones now that have helped out a few times. I think its just luck, meeting people that fit the right category.

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Twinkie1 · 02/01/2008 09:54

There is an online babysitting thing that one of my friends used one - can't remember the name but will have a search and see.

All the people they use are nannies or work in childcare.

Where are you - maybe a fellow mumsnetter will be happy to help you out.

I am in North Essex if you are near me I would be more than willing.

Twink X

littleboo · 02/01/2008 09:55

we're kind of in the same position. What we have done is contact the local college where they do the child care courses. we spoke to the tutor and she agreed to ask her group if any of them wanted a babysitting job. She was great as she obviously knew the group and who and perhaps who not would be more suitable. We did this previously when we lived elsewhere and it worked really well for us. Also meant they had some knowledge of basic child care etc. Would be worth a try.

hifi · 02/01/2008 09:55

i use Sitters, they are fab, where do you live ggg?

dd666 · 02/01/2008 09:56

me!

dp doesnt trust my sis or step sis too have dd (18mo) even though one has dd similar age other is pg and had nursery training.
my mom had her once said never again and since she has got back with an abusive ex so dont want to leave dd there!

it gets me down too i try and try to do stuff just two of us, new yrs eve we put dd to bed norm time turned off lights put fire on lit the room in candles and cuddled whilst wathching dvd and drinking wine was very romantic and apart from the mounting of toys in corner of room and the photos it was kind of like pre dd and we definatly dont do it often enough.

MrsMopple · 02/01/2008 09:56

Would also go with LIZS. My in laws live VERY close to us, but I don;t like to ask them as we have a bit of a strained relationship at times. Some of the girls at ds's nursery do babysitting, I asked the nursery owner if she could recommend anyone and she said she was happy for her girls to come and babysit, btu that it was an entirely private arrangement and nothing to do with the nursery.

DaisyMoo · 02/01/2008 09:56

I would bite the bullet and ask one of the NCT group to babysit - if they're good friends they'll be happy to help out anyway and might be glad to have another babysitter to add to their list if you offer to reciprocate.

We have a very good babysitting circle but because we're mostly in the same social circle it can still be difficult to find someone as we don't have any family localy - on NYE dh and I had to take it in turns to go to a party down the road!

PrismManchip · 02/01/2008 09:57

Me
We moved recently and know nobody in our area. I am not hopeless, it will all come, but no we cannot get out for the evening.

Even worse we lived in a village for a year and my ILs lived 350m down the road. They never offered to babysit and we never asked them, because they don't change their evening routine of drinking and cooking unless they are invited out to drink and eat at someone else's house. They would never come and sit in our house...despite the fact that we really needed to get out. They are good in other ways but I have to say, that did make me bitter.

Original poster

GreenGlassGoblin · 02/01/2008 09:58

thank you for the thoughts - some good ones there, I never thought of asking at nursery (doh). And Twinkle, that;s lovely of you, but I'm a long way away (South Yorkshire!). We're ttc #2 at teh moment, and I'm beginning to feel like we'll never go out again, so I really want to get things sorted before I give up and decide no-one will take on 2 little ones. I used to babysit for my entire neighbourhoods kids as a teenager - never realised I was a godsend, thought I was lucky to be getting a fiver and evening to sit in someone elses house and watch their telly!

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Original poster

GreenGlassGoblin · 02/01/2008 09:58

criky, x-posted times about a million there!

OP posts:

Twinkie1 · 02/01/2008 09:59

Sitters is the name of te company - isn't cheap but are reliable and trustworthy!

Good luck - shame I am no where near you!

bozza · 02/01/2008 10:03

GGG either ask a friend or go down the professional route. Even if you don't use a nursery you must know someone who does. The other alternative is for DS to stay with grandparents for the weekend. This is what we have done mostly. Maybe you/DH could take him to family on the Saturday am, stay for lunch, come back and have the late afternoon/evening, then the grandparents bring him back after lunch on the Sunday. Something like that?

HuwEdwards · 02/01/2008 10:09

We use nursery staff (even tho no longer have any dcs at nursery) - works perfectly.

Heathcliffscathy · 02/01/2008 10:11

You go out there and you FIND someone and you cultivate them and then they are your babysitter.

you can't just sit and wait for someone to become your babysitter...like people have said if you particularly like someone at nursery, ask them, ask around, ask other parents who they use, do any of them have au pair's or nannies, they often need the extra money and are willing to do evening babysitting.

you need to be really proactive and ime often friends and relatives are not actually as good in terms of doing things the way YOU want....go for it!!!

Original poster

GreenGlassGoblin · 02/01/2008 10:12

DS is at a very nice local nursery, so will try to overcome my naturally very shy personality and ask if anyone there babysits. Have been thinking about the grandparents thing too - he's a clingy little bugger darling, so not sure how that would work, but would like to give it a go in time for DH's 40th in May. Last night as he dropped off to sleep the last thing he said was 'mummy here. daddy here. nice.' Awww .

OP posts:

GColdtimer · 02/01/2008 10:22

Our nursery staff welcome the extra cash babysitting can bring in. Also, my NCT group all babysit for each other - I hardly ever need to ask them as I have family close by but that doesn't mean I won't babysit for others who don't. Try to bite the bullet and just ask, if they are friends they will be happy to help you out.

nannyL · 02/01/2008 10:29

try www.sitters.co.uk

personally i might be wary of leaving my child with someone i have never met but they DO check all references thoroughly... well at least they did mine very thoroughly even calling one of my bosses (whose phone number was in my ref file) without even telling em they would... obviously i would have preferred to let her know she was expecting a call, not that i have anything to be hide but i think it would have been polite to let her know 4 years later that she might get a call

they did also thoroughly check all my 1st aid / CRC etc

and only child care proffesionals can work as a sitters babysitter, and you can request the same peson again and again (so long as they are free when you want to go out)

specialmagiclady · 02/01/2008 10:36

I've used sitters, they're great and can get someone at short notice. Once you find someone you like, you can have them again and again.

Do just initiate a babysit swap with someone. We did this and it was brilliant because the other couple were inclined to go out a lot more than we were, so they pushed us into going out more!

Original poster

GreenGlassGoblin · 02/01/2008 10:44

Thanks for that link NannyL. Have just looked at sitters prices and, while I agree that they are totally fair, am not sure we can afford them - looks like it would be adding an extra £25-£30 to the cost of an evening at the local pub or theatre . Maybe I've just got out of the swing of spending money on ourselves the past couple of years. Will definitely try the NCT group again, and the nursery, with sitters as an option... Ooh, we could GO OUT! Together! Like grown ups!

OP posts:

nannyL · 02/01/2008 10:51

dont forget you only pay the fee ocne per year, not each tiem you use them

IMO sitters pay to us babysitters is REALLY bad... 5.50ish an hour which is £2 per hour LESS than what i normally charge AND GET!, which is still significantly less than my normal nannying hourly rate!

RubyRioja · 02/01/2008 11:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Acinonyx · 02/01/2008 11:37

Same here. Dd is 2.5 and we have never been out together past 8 pm since she was born. My NCT group are scattered all over the county and now all have 2nd babies so that's not really an option - and dd is extremely shy - I would nver have someone she wasn't realy close to as a sitter.

If our money situation improves I will ask someone from her nursery to babysit (I already asked so I know they do). I'm definitely starting feel as though we need to go out - it just makes a cheap night out at the cinema so expensive when you need a proper sitter.

Other than that, what we currently do is take a day off every 3 months and have a nice lunch and go to the pictures one day while dd is at nursery.

scorpio1 · 02/01/2008 11:39

I don't have anyone.

I asked a girl at nursery and she does it for me now, we have had her twice. its going well!

also check at loal colleges for girls doing childcare courses.

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