Worried about pointing in my 17m old

Ayd7815 · 2022-02-14T23:11:02+00:00

Hi I wanted to talk about my 17m old daughter not pointing yet. Positives: Great eye contact Very interactive and w e have strong emotional bond since young. Wants to be around me near me all the time. Follows me when I leave room Gets upset if I don’t take her out with me Very smiley and happy and cuddly Seeks me out when she’s upset Follows a point Responds to her name most of time Looks back and forth at me when doing a activity Loves peekaboo and initiates It too herself Copies some facial expressions and words like ‘ca ca’ quack quack or’ish’ for fish If I sing she tries to sing in babble too when I pause Lots of babbling When she wants my attention she grunts or makes a noise at me whist looking at me. Also starting to see a bit more conversational babbling too. She understands instructions like where’s bubbles and will search whole room for it and bring it to me and hand it to me to blow bubbles. Same for when she wants me to wear a hat she find really funny and laughs and a few other things. Copies me when I play with her toys and does the same. Plays with toys normally I think. Bringing my some objects like bubbles on her own accord to blow them or do something with a item she enjoys and hands it to me to play with her. Sharing with us started at 15m When she wants something she will reach with whole hand to get and looks at me too to give to her too. Claps since 9m old Waving is more like 16m Negatives: No index finger pointing yet when she’s reaching (however has started to make the pointing gesture when she sees something she wants but doesn’t quite reach out or up with it yet. Otherwise she makes the pointing gesture a lot when playing or fiddling around or looking at pictures in a book. Not many words except mama when she wants me or is upset Not sure if she pretend playing yet either. I’m concerned mainly because of lack of words and Pointing at her age. I hope it’s emerging soon as all the skills she does do have emerged over the last 4 or 5 months and just continued to improve and get more clearer and better. 18months is the cut off for the pointing and I’m just scared she won’t be. And it’s like a big thing apparently. Any one had any similar issues and your child turned out ok? Can anyone reassure me? Thanks in advance

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BlueCookieMonster · 14/02/2022 23:15

Urm I honestly never even knew this was a thing, or even a big thing. Can’t even remember my kids doing it or when they started.

She sounds like she’s doing it already with the books, and communicating her needs adequately enough. I wouldn’t worry over much at the moment.

Original poster

Ayd7815 · 14/02/2022 23:20

@BlueCookieMonster

Urm I honestly never even knew this was a thing, or even a big thing. Can’t even remember my kids doing it or when they started.

She sounds like she’s doing it already with the books, and communicating her needs adequately enough. I wouldn’t worry over much at the moment.

Thanks for your post. It's helped x

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Phormiumjester · 14/02/2022 23:25

There's always one thing they panic you over. I'm sure it's nothing. What happens after the cut off?

I thought ds1 would never roll over - he could crawl before he rolled. He's 11 now and perfectly able to roll.

Ds2 didn't speak until he was confident he could.

If general communication is OK I wouldn't worry. Have you checked that you point with one finger and not a few and she's copying?

bloodywhitecat · 14/02/2022 23:29

My little one is 21 months, he has had two reviews with paediatricians over the last fortnight and neither of the paeds have been worried about the fact that he isn't pointing (nor does he follow a point), why is 18 months the cut off and what's it the cut off for?

Dogshark · 14/02/2022 23:29

To those that know, pointing matters. But, it is specifically 3-way pointing that matter because it shows reciprocation.

From what you say, your daughter shows reciprocal communication in other ways. She looks back and forth to see that you are enjoying what she is. She imitates. She is therefore interested in what you are thinking about what she is enjoying. These are great signs.

No one can tell you if your daughter has asd over the internet, and there is nothing wrong with being alive to the idea.

For what it’s worth, my children are what used to be described as high functioning/aspergers. They are in mainstream school and have issues but are doing fine. Neither ticked the reciprocal attention boxes your dd ticks.

I can pseudo diagnose in anyone … nothing screams out to me in your post.

Original poster

Ayd7815 · 14/02/2022 23:34

@Phormiumjester

There's always one thing they panic you over. I'm sure it's nothing. What happens after the cut off?

I thought ds1 would never roll over - he could crawl before he rolled. He's 11 now and perfectly able to roll.

Ds2 didn't speak until he was confident he could.

If general communication is OK I wouldn't worry. Have you checked that you point with one finger and not a few and she's copying?

Thanks for your post. I think after 18m there's a worry about ASD or speech delay or something

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Original poster

Ayd7815 · 14/02/2022 23:34

@bloodywhitecat

My little one is 21 months, he has had two reviews with paediatricians over the last fortnight and neither of the paeds have been worried about the fact that he isn't pointing (nor does he follow a point), why is 18 months the cut off and what's it the cut off for?

ASD and speech delay I think. Not sure how important it really is. Reassuring your drs weren't concerned

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Original poster

Ayd7815 · 14/02/2022 23:38

@Dogshark

To those that know, pointing matters. But, it is specifically 3-way pointing that matter because it shows reciprocation.

From what you say, your daughter shows reciprocal communication in other ways. She looks back and forth to see that you are enjoying what she is. She imitates. She is therefore interested in what you are thinking about what she is enjoying. These are great signs.

No one can tell you if your daughter has asd over the internet, and there is nothing wrong with being alive to the idea.

For what it’s worth, my children are what used to be described as high functioning/aspergers. They are in mainstream school and have issues but are doing fine. Neither ticked the reciprocal attention boxes your dd ticks.

I can pseudo diagnose in anyone … nothing screams out to me in your post.

Hi. Thanks for your post. It's helpful. I hope I don't have much to worry about. It's more ASD I'm hoping isn't a concern. I understand she may be a late talker at least as she nearly 18m and isn't saying many words Some kids her age says lots and point. If she was pointing to request and share I wouldn't even be worried as I felt she was doing ok before reading about it.

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bloodywhitecat · 14/02/2022 23:44

He only has three words too, he only ever has three words, as soon as he learns a new word an old word drops out of his vocabulary. He isn't putting two words together yet either. Maybe I should be more concerned than I am?

Cheekypeach · 14/02/2022 23:46

My daughter didn’t index finger point until she was 18mo. And even then I had to teach her to do it she’s now a completely NT, sociable nearly 3yo.

ThisMustBeMyDream · 14/02/2022 23:51

My DS didn't finger point until over 2. Or wave. Yes he did go on and get an ASD diagnosis. No speech delay, he could use words. Just didn't understand them.
It's impossible to say, only time will tell. Fwiw we had an ADOS at age 3 which said no to asd. He got an autism diagnosis age 6 swiftly followed by adhd. It took years. He's a lovely boy. Just not good at the social stuff. I wouldn't change him (well, most of the time ).
Try not to worry. Your dd sounds lovely.

Original poster

Ayd7815 · 14/02/2022 23:53

@bloodywhitecat

He only has three words too, he only ever has three words, as soon as he learns a new word an old word drops out of his vocabulary. He isn't putting two words together yet either. Maybe I should be more concerned than I am?

Hi. I didn't mean to make your question if you should be worried. If your dr isn't worried then maybe you shouldn't be? Maybe just keep eye on it. Im no professional in the subject. Just a worried mum expressing my worries. It's reassuring that your child is saying words though. The pointing is something I think that happens before the talking.

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Original poster

Ayd7815 · 14/02/2022 23:57

@Cheekypeach

My daughter didn’t index finger point until she was 18mo. And even then I had to teach her to do it

she’s now a completely NT, sociable nearly 3yo.

This is reassuring! I'm modelling pointing too. I just hope she gets it. I do catch her doing the pointing gesture when she wants something but not reaching and pointing yet. It's weird. She will reach and try and grab otherwise fine all the time and she cries and looks at it because she wants it too. And she also looks at me too.

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Original poster

Ayd7815 · 14/02/2022 23:59

@ThisMustBeMyDream

My DS didn't finger point until over 2. Or wave. Yes he did go on and get an ASD diagnosis. No speech delay, he could use words. Just didn't understand them. It's impossible to say, only time will tell. Fwiw we had an ADOS at age 3 which said no to asd. He got an autism diagnosis age 6 swiftly followed by adhd. It took years. He's a lovely boy. Just not good at the social stuff. I wouldn't change him (well, most of the time

). Try not to worry. Your dd sounds lovely.

Is your DS a milder case then? They normally wait that long I think for the wait and see if they do ok later? Your DS sounds lovely too.

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ThisMustBeMyDream · 15/02/2022 00:03

I don't think he is mild . He has what would have once been called high functioning autism. However the adhd complicates matters. But yes, it took years. They don't rush diagnosis it seems. Well, not even rushing I suppose. It's somewhat ridiculous. It was obvious from a very young age that something was different. But by 3 I knew it was autism or adhd. Turned out it was both. It took the school to push him on a different pathway for referral as paeds were taking so long to do anything at all. School knew, I knew, everyone knew but the People who needed to know for it to be official just dragged their feet.

Dogshark · 15/02/2022 00:04

Honestly, she sounds as though she is doing fine. She has some words (animal sounds count), and that is well within normal range.

Following a point is also great. As is grunting whilst looking at you to get attention. All those hints show social interaction.

I will never tell a parent not to remain vigilant if they are concerned- but only because if your kid does have additional needs it is very lonely when everyone dismisses your concerns. But… your daughter sounds lovely (although my asd kids are lovely too!).

ThisMustBeMyDream · 15/02/2022 00:06

I started asking for medical help at 20 months old BTW. It was only when he was 2 3/4 that they finally referred him to paeds as I had to jump through the ridiculous hoop of doing a "parenting course" (shit by the way, highly do not recommend. They advocate time outs on neuro diverse kids, yeah, just no) as a prerequisite of being referred to paeds for assessment.
Yes, I'm still furious and he is 9 now!

Original poster

Ayd7815 · 15/02/2022 00:14

@Dogshark

Honestly, she sounds as though she is doing fine. She has some words (animal sounds count), and that is well within normal range.

Following a point is also great. As is grunting whilst looking at you to get attention. All those hints show social interaction.

I will never tell a parent not to remain vigilant if they are concerned- but only because if your kid does have additional needs it is very lonely when everyone dismisses your concerns. But… your daughter sounds lovely (although my asd kids are lovely too!).

Thanks for your reassuring words. She can definitely follow a point. I used to do it with the the light in each room at first and now when I say 'look light' with no gestures she looks at it herself. Because she understands what it is now. Her understanding gets better each day The grunting while she's looking at me me and smiling is more recent because I have been talking and reading to her much more recently too. And she's responds this way sometimes.

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Original poster

Ayd7815 · 15/02/2022 00:17

@ThisMustBeMyDream

I started asking for medical help at 20 months old BTW. It was only when he was 2 3/4 that they finally referred him to paeds as I had to jump through the ridiculous hoop of doing a "parenting course" (shit by the way, highly do not recommend. They advocate time outs on neuro diverse kids, yeah, just no) as a prerequisite of being referred to paeds for assessment. Yes, I'm still furious and he is 9 now!

Hi. That's a long time to get seen if you asked when your child was 20m. NHS are big on wait and see I think. They leave a lot of it on the parents too when your child does need help IMO. Not enough help. They are also negative too about some kids if they don't fit in their perfect box of milestones. But that's just my opinion

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Northernlurker · 16/02/2022 12:46

She sounds very like my oldest. Was nearly three before she talked fluently. She's now in her final year of med school.
You are obviously very engaged, giving her everything she needs. I suspect she doesn't need to communicate her wishes because you are anticipating a lot of the time. As her communication needs because more sophisticated the words and pointing will come. I would keep doing what you're doing and enjoy your lovely baby becoming an exciting little person.

Original poster

Ayd7815 · 16/02/2022 14:14

@Northernlurker

She sounds very like my oldest. Was nearly three before she talked fluently. She's now in her final year of med school. You are obviously very engaged, giving her everything she needs. I suspect she doesn't need to communicate her wishes because you are anticipating a lot of the time. As her communication needs because more sophisticated the words and pointing will come. I would keep doing what you're doing and enjoy your lovely baby becoming an exciting little person.

Thanks for your post. It helps! Maybe I shouldn't be anticipating her needs so much haha! Might force her to communicate more. I hope it comes soon! I hope things turn out well for me too x

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Hikoridikori · 16/02/2022 21:44

Hello,

It sounds very similar to my DD. She was late at pointing and late to speak.

She had about 2-3 words at the age of 18 months and was pointing by then but it was just only then that she started. Before that she was pointing with her whole palm, not index.

I was very worried too as she was a late babbler as well, never blew strawberries etc. What age did your DC start babbling?

My DD was assessed by a private speech therapist who said that if the receptive language is where it should be then the expressive will follow.

Aparrently they say that it's more important for a toddler to combine 2 words together at 2 years old than being late with the first words. When combining 2 words is late it may mean further difficulties like dyslexia, not necessarily ASD.

At the moment my DD is 23 months and has about 60 words. Most of them are either one-syllable words or words that she only uses the first syllable. She is still behind than her peers but slowly progressing at her own time. Her receptive language and all other developmental milestones are where it should be, it's just the expressive that is behind.

I was exactly where you are now with the exact same worries and this is where we are now. Just to give you a perspective...

My DD may need some speech therapy but all say that she is too young to start yet.

I wish you all the best and I really hope your worries to be past soon!

Just try not to compare with other kids (I keep saying that to myself as well but it's so hard sometimes...)

Original poster

Ayd7815 · 16/02/2022 21:59

@Hikoridikori