Worried about pointing in my 17m old

[Ayd7815]

Hi I wanted to talk about my 17m old daughter not pointing yet.

Positives: 
Great eye contact 
Very interactive and w e have strong emotional bond since young. 
Wants to be around me near me all the time. 
Follows me when I leave room 
Gets upset if I don’t take her out with me 
Very smiley and happy and cuddly 
Seeks me out when she’s upset 
Follows a point 
Responds to her name most of time 
Looks back and forth at me when doing a activity 
Loves peekaboo and initiates It too herself 
Copies some facial expressions and words like ‘ca ca’ quack quack or’ish’ for fish 
If I sing she tries to sing in babble too when I pause 
Lots of babbling 
When she wants my attention she grunts or makes a noise at me whist looking at me. Also starting to see a bit more conversational babbling too.

She understands instructions like where’s bubbles and will search whole room for it and bring it to me and hand it to me to blow bubbles. Same for when she wants me to wear a hat she find really funny and laughs and a few other things.

Copies me when I play with her toys and does the same. Plays with toys normally I think. 
Bringing my some objects like bubbles on her own accord to blow them or do something with a item she enjoys and hands it to me to play with her. Sharing with us started at 15m
When she wants something she will reach with whole hand to get and looks at me too to give to her too.
Claps since 9m old
Waving is more like 16m


Negatives: 

No index finger pointing yet when she’s reaching (however has started to make the pointing gesture when she sees something she wants but doesn’t quite reach out or up with it yet. Otherwise she makes the pointing gesture a lot when playing or fiddling around or looking at pictures in a book. 
Not many words except mama when she wants me or is upset 
Not sure if she pretend playing yet either. 

I’m concerned mainly because of lack of words and Pointing at her age. 
I hope it’s emerging soon as all the skills she does do have emerged over the last 4 or 5 months and just continued to improve and get more clearer and better.
18months is the cut off for the pointing and I’m just scared she won’t be. And it’s like a big thing apparently.
Any one had any similar issues and your child turned out ok? Can anyone reassure me? Thanks in advance

Ahh I also hope the words come soon! We have a few unclear ones… she says eyes (but only when we are singing heads, shoulders, knees and toes), quack for duck, buzz for bee, duggee (as in hey duggee- i’m not proud of that one lol) and daddy (no mummy grr). Counting them thats about 4 more than two weeks ago, so getting there… I just wish it was clearer and more consistent, but I guess that just comes with time!

I wouldn't be concerned. Sounds like an isolated mild speech delay. As others said get her hearing checked

@Neurodiversitydoctor

I wouldn't be concerned. Sounds like an isolated mild speech delay. As others said get her hearing checked

Maybe. I hope she overcomes anything! Thanks for your input x

@OrDis

Ahh I also hope the words come soon! We have a few unclear ones… she says eyes (but only when we are singing heads, shoulders, knees and toes), quack for duck, buzz for bee, duggee (as in hey duggee- i’m not proud of that one lol) and daddy (no mummy grr). Counting them thats about 4 more than two weeks ago, so getting there… I just wish it was clearer and more consistent, but I guess that just comes with time!

That's good words are coming! I wish my little one was doing this. I'm hoping over the next few months. Fingers crossed x

My oldest at 18 months (Ds) was just very physical but not boisterous, not interested in sitting unless very tired, he would explore everything in detail. Loved walking. If he went in a room he would know what was under the table, on it, behind the chairs and be playing with the phone or the music. He liked going out to shops. But he still liked books, sand and playdoh. He loved anything with wheels ( maybe more a boy thing) but not much into toys. He was and still is very obsessed with music, playing music on my phone or grandparents CD player or MP3.

My youngest (DD) is more bang crash and not such a detail lover. She loves reading books though. Her development has been quicker, but she has a sibling and learned along the way.

The thing is it's such a cliche, but kids are different. It's very hard to tell when something is wrong and honestly I worry about my DS all the time, but he's doing great. We actually went to a speech group course for 2-3 year olds run by the council ( family support service) and some kids turned out to be just delayed and some have been diagnosed with various issues from ADHD to ASD. The ones I'm in touch with said that early support was vital. So speak to your HV and see if they is anything similar if you are still worried when's she's two. But there is a massive amount of change between 18 months and two.

@Smellyporcupine

My oldest at 18 months (Ds) was just very physical but not boisterous, not interested in sitting unless very tired, he would explore everything in detail. Loved walking. If he went in a room he would know what was under the table, on it, behind the chairs and be playing with the phone or the music. He liked going out to shops. But he still liked books, sand and playdoh. He loved anything with wheels ( maybe more a boy thing) but not much into toys. He was and still is very obsessed with music, playing music on my phone or grandparents CD player or MP3.

My youngest (DD) is more bang crash and not such a detail lover. She loves reading books though. Her development has been quicker, but she has a sibling and learned along the way.

The thing is it's such a cliche, but kids are different. It's very hard to tell when something is wrong and honestly I worry about my DS all the time, but he's doing great. We actually went to a speech group course for 2-3 year olds run by the council ( family support service) and some kids turned out to be just delayed and some have been diagnosed with various issues from ADHD to ASD. The ones I'm in touch with said that early support was vital. So speak to your HV and see if they is anything similar if you are still worried when's she's two. But there is a massive amount of change between 18 months and two.

Thanks for your response. I know it's like every 3 months she's a different baby. I hope by the time she's 2 she's ok. But I do take the early help as crucial thing serious too. There won't be much NHS help that early. What would be best for a 2 year old if it does happen? I was thinking maybe private nursery would help her social skills and language skills further?

Nursery is great for experience and little ones seeing what other do and copying, but one on one is best for language. So honestly the best thing you can do now for encouraging speech is spend 1-2 x 15 minutes a day uninterrupted time ( put phone in other room, turn off radio and tv. I'm terrible at being on my phone lots 😬 or cleaning up whilst they do something ) Do something focused together with your DD. Play a game down at her level. You could get some animals and say they are going on the train for example. Off they go, can she put them in. They get to the shop to buy bread ( I'm making this up, as you act out the game and narrate what is happening with simple words) Or do an activity like finger painting, playdoh or making cup cakes. Use lots of single words, repeat them. Colours, texture, names. White, soft, tip, squeeze, sugar etc.

Just keep talking, simple labelling things language like "shoes" and then 2 word sentences like " get shoes" and it will come. When my DS was little I use to use such long rambling sentences, I don't think he could pick the important bits out. That or I would be so tired and quiet. So I had to change to help him with his speech.

Simple books are great too. Like we have for babies. I know they will love little stories too at your DD's age too, but repeating the same basic books with a picture and a word are perfect for encouraging speech too.. like this

@Smellyporcupine

Nursery is great for experience and little ones seeing what other do and copying, but one on one is best for language. So honestly the best thing you can do now for encouraging speech is spend 1-2 x 15 minutes a day uninterrupted time ( put phone in other room, turn off radio and tv. I'm terrible at being on my phone lots 😬 or cleaning up whilst they do something ) Do something focused together with your DD. Play a game down at her level. You could get some animals and say they are going on the train for example. Off they go, can she put them in. They get to the shop to buy bread ( I'm making this up, as you act out the game and narrate what is happening with simple words) Or do an activity like finger painting, playdoh or making cup cakes. Use lots of single words, repeat them. Colours, texture, names. White, soft, tip, squeeze, sugar etc.

Just keep talking, simple labelling things language like "shoes" and then 2 word sentences like " get shoes" and it will come. When my DS was little I use to use such long rambling sentences, I don't think he could pick the important bits out. That or I would be so tired and quiet. So I had to change to help him with his speech.

Simple books are great too. Like we have for babies. I know they will love little stories too at your DD's age too, but repeating the same basic books with a picture and a word are perfect for encouraging speech too.. like this

Thanks so much for this! I do have the simple books and I read to her daily now. I try implement more of these strategies. Thanks again! X

@Ayd7815 hi, how is your baby now, is baby pointing ?

@gceceelia
Hi! Yes my LO is now 2.5 and literally a month later she was pointing on her own at 18m and speech came shortly after and her language has kept progressing too. She's now a very chatty happy 2.5 year old who's speaks in sentences x

@Ayd7815 thabk you so much for your answer. Mine started to grab my finger to point and not pointing with his hand and pushing me around to where he wants to go. He has 60 to 70 words very interactive and social like yours including pretend play. I just have this fear... and im ever so scared and worried.

@gceceelia try not to worry so much! I know we parents do have our moments.
I read so much about pointing that scared me but if everything else is there I'm sure this will come too. How old is your LO?

@Ayd7815 17m (16m corrected age).

@gceceelia
That's still quite young. 2 months is a long time in baby world they change so much! Also the fact that he has so many words sounds reassuring! At 16m my DD didn't x

@Ayd7815 he was 3 weeks early. I've been so stressed about this and more when he started to hand leading or grabbing my finger. Might sound crazy but I worry.

@gceceelia
I understand handing leading can be a worry but he still has time to figure it out. Like sometimes one day they can't point and the next day they just know. Like it clicks.
See how it is over the next couple of months and try not to stress too much
Praying for easier times for us all x

my son is 18 now, he never pointed at that age, just put his hand out towards what he meant. He still does now sometimes but he can stick his middle finger up when he thinks I'm not looking. I do think these 'guidelines' must be causing parents unnecessary worrying now. They weren't really mentioned when I had my two. My sister has a 3 year old. The amount of questions I get when he wasn't doing something at the age he was supposed to be actually astounds me, as the kids bright as a button. Only you know your child. These milestones are only supposed to be just that, they aren't set in stone and should only really be a worry when there's a quite a few of milestones not met. Your child will get there in time. Take the pressure off yourself.

@Sn1859 thank you for your response. I just can't help it. I will try not to worry.

My little one started pointing at around 18/19 months if I can remember correctly but it was more like look dog but not back at me. He was always more interested in his physical milestones than social and communication. He had good eye contact, would seek for me, follow me around, look into my eyes back and forth if it was his favourite nursery rhymes before 18 months. The problem is he was always so busy exploring and being active that I often felt he missed the world passing by as he was so busy and I wouldn't be surprised if he gets a adhd diagnosis as it runs in his fathers family including dh! He started using words and pointing at around 22 months as look aeroplane but before that, once in a while he would see something interesting and gaze into my eyes. I'm not sure if he has asd as nursery or hv have never flagged anything up despite asking but always have had this niggling feeling whether it's because adhd might be on the horizon?

Hi lovely
following your post as I am interested myself about the pointing gesture . How’s your little one doing now ? Any updates

Hey my son was 17 month and maybe he did it once or twice...but he had lots of words maybe around 200...so he wasn't interested in pointing because he could talk...and we did montessori so he had everything at his reach or a learning tower to grab things, around 20 to 21 months he started to constantly point at everything.
I had EI coming to the house and assess and even took him to see a developmental ped. Non of them were concerned because he was very social and had so many words in 2 languages.
So if your kid is social and has words... don't worry too much.
This comes from a very stressed mom who takes things to another level.

Hi
thank You so much for your kind words . Yes my little girl has quite a good vocabulary and Hopefully , she will be bilingual as I speak to her in my native language , when you say social “ I’d like to this out to you and have your thoughts . Last week we had my parents over from Italy and she had only met them a couple of time but when she saw them she was so excited and my mom was holding her no problem , but she is not social with kids her age . She chases after them and when they turn around she runs back to me ☺️ .

How old its your girl... that sounds quite like my boy when he was around 18 to 24 m. He would always run back to me. Would parallel play among other kids even now he is a velcro and I enjoy the cuddles. Now he is 32 m and he knows their names and shows interest in what other kids are doing. But they don't actively play with other kids til they are 3.5 to 4. Your girl sounds very normal.

Hi All
Just to update anyone who's going through similar
My daughter is now 3.5 and social chatty happy 3 year old and totally NT.
she was never a big pointer but did do it eventually consistently
She has a language explosion around 19-20 months and took off from there. Hope this helps someone x