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Original poster

In-Laws keep kissing baby!!!

43 replies

Girlmum21 · 13/02/2022 19:09

Hi,

My baby is now 4 months and since born i had the no kissing rule in place. Multiple times i’ve caught my in laws kissing my baby and pulling away quickly when they know i’m coming. I’m fed up asking my partner to ask them to stop i just want to protect her she was 2 months early and i cant face her being ill again. Its got to the point i’ve stopped handing her to them (currently living with them until we move into our home) i just feel no one is respecting my wishes!!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

SuperSleepyBaby · 13/02/2022 19:11

Thats sounds really annoying - how long until you can move?

Is she still very vulnerable compared to other babies her age?

MajorCarolDanvers · 13/02/2022 19:12

i cant face her being ill again

Does she have some kind of health condition that makes you frightened for her?

One of mine was 6.5 weeks prem. Once she was out of hospital I didn't mind family showing affection but there were no ongoing health problems in our case.

Feelingoktoday · 13/02/2022 19:14

Oh dear. H

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GTAlogic · 13/02/2022 19:16

Isn't it natural to want to kiss a baby, especially one that lives in your house and is a member of your family?

Letsallscreamatthesistene · 13/02/2022 19:16

I think you're being a bit precious tbh

collosalbrainbearer · 13/02/2022 19:17

@GTAlogic

Isn't it natural to want to kiss a baby, especially one that lives in your house and is a member of your family?

The main issue is them going behind her back. Extremely disrespectful, regardless. The sneakiness is so rude.

Original poster

Girlmum21 · 13/02/2022 19:24

I’m precious of her for so many reasons. She spent the first 5 weeks of her life on a ventilator fighting an infection in her bowel. Of course it is natural to want to kiss a baby but shes still so small and can catch so much from kissing. Its not one rule for someone and a different for other i’m sure all my family would love to kiss her but they have respected my rule.

OP posts:

flowervest75 · 13/02/2022 19:28

Are they kissing her on the lips (which is always a no no) or on her cheek/forehead etc?

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 13/02/2022 19:31

Are they allowed to hold her ? Tbh a kiss on the head won't make a blind bit of difference if they are holding her anyway.

TerryChoc · 13/02/2022 19:33

I don’t feel you’re being precious at all, you’re literally warned throughout pregnancy about the risks of passing on cold sores and rsv which kill babies. There’s campaigns out there from mothers who have lost children because their family wouldn’t listen to them about not kissing.
My in laws are the same and roll their eyes with the typical “when I had babies….”
Try stand firm OP you’re the advocate for your baby. Maybe try some education to them.

MangshorJhol · 13/02/2022 19:34

I have a 26 weeker. Who was also on a ventilator and I think this sounds a little OTT. I think premature babies especially need warmth, holding and kisses. Unless they are coughing all over her or have cold sores, I would let it go.
I remember the helpless feeling I had when I came home BUT I had an older son who was in school and so I had to be reasonable but what I could or couldn’t do. No I wasn’t taking him to playgroups but I would certainly allow family members living in the house to kiss the baby.

Letsallscreamatthesistene · 13/02/2022 19:36

Tbh a kiss on the head won't make a blind bit of difference if they are holding her anyway.

Agreed.

PossiblyDreaming · 13/02/2022 19:37

It’s always scary when your baby has been ill, especially if she was premature and you don’t know if she’s going to make it. But, genuinely said with kindness, I don’t think your in laws are doing anything wrong. Of course they want to kiss their grandchild, it’s such a natural thing to do. If you’re allowing them to hold her then what difference does a kiss on the head/ hand make? Kisses on the lips obviously not for a newborn but a peck on the head is not going to hurt her unless you’ve been specifically warned against allowing this for some reason.

FindmeuptheFarawaytree · 13/02/2022 19:38

I think you need to relax, I can understand being an anxious new mum, but she will be fine and it's part of normal relationship building with her family.

Qwill · 13/02/2022 19:41

Has the doctor told you she’s not allowed to be kissed? I can’t think of a scenario where that would be the case at that age? If so, then I do feel very bad for you, it must be awful not to be able to kiss your own baby.

QueenOfHiraeth · 13/02/2022 19:44

@MrsPelligrinoPetrichor

Are they allowed to hold her ? Tbh a kiss on the head won't make a blind bit of difference if they are holding her anyway.

I would find it hard not to drop he odd kiss on a grandbaby's head and, while I agree they should not subvert your wishes, I think you are being a bit too precious

ItsSnowJokes · 13/02/2022 19:46

They live with you and cuddle and and hold her, a kiss on the head is not going to make any difference at all.

LizzieSiddal · 13/02/2022 19:50

I’m sorry but I’d find that rule nearly impossible to follow. It’s natural to want to kiss your grandchild, I look after mine two days a week and I must kiss her many times a day. She was a prem baby too.
It’s a natural instinct, so I need constantly reminding!

LizzieSiddal · 13/02/2022 19:51

*I’d

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 13/02/2022 19:52

No kissing means directly on the lips.

I had a 32 weeker, people washed their hands and that was it.

Suprima · 13/02/2022 19:52

If they are holding her- a kiss won’t make a difference

vdbfamily · 13/02/2022 19:55

We were discussing at work this week that babies born in lockdown seen to be so much more susceptible to infections because they have not been passed around relatives and friends and built up antibodies. It is normal and healthy for grandparents to cuddle and kiss grand children and you are probably putting baby more at risk by not allowing it.

cansu · 13/02/2022 19:57

Unless medical staff have told you she is in danger from a kiss on the forehead or cheek, you are being somewhat ridiculous.

Mum2jenny · 13/02/2022 19:58

I’d ban them completely from even seeing your child, if they will not support your reasonable view.

sadpapercourtesan · 13/02/2022 19:59

@Mum2jenny

I’d ban them completely from even seeing your child, if they will not support your reasonable view.

Bit tricky when she's living in their house

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