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Should you leave your baby to cry?

34 replies

KangaMummy · 18/11/2004 10:56

This is going to be disscussed on ITV THIS MORNING THURSDAY @ 11.10 am approx

details here

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
KangaMummy · 18/11/2004 11:21

This woman does not have any children and is child physc........

OP posts:
KangaMummy · 18/11/2004 11:23

margot sunderland seems a bit batty to me

OP posts:
nailpolish · 18/11/2004 11:24

missed it km. having a hectic morning today!

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nailpolish · 18/11/2004 11:24

havent even had telly on (apart from cbeebies and thats was on order from dd!

Slinky · 18/11/2004 11:25

Already seems a load of b**cks to me!

Doesn't take into account those babies who cry and cry regardless (DD2 one of those), babies who have colic etc etc.

I could hug, feed, rock DD2 till the cows come home - sometimes she just would not stop.

Total c* IMO

alexsmum · 18/11/2004 11:26

its on now.the woman saying this doesn't have any children of her own.enough said!

shortiemum · 18/11/2004 11:28

does this woman have any idea what she is on about.i'm having my first baby in march and people like this nutter are not halping me.i'm worryed enough ta very much.

beansprout · 18/11/2004 11:29

What is she saying? I can't hear it - my baby is crying!!

johnnydeppsmistress · 18/11/2004 11:30

Of course it depends on the circumstances. But my experience was this: When my eldest was 4 mths old, he had no sleep pattern and we were desperate to remedy it. We bought a book called Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems by Dr Richard Ferber. His method involves leaving your baby to cry for set periods of time before comforting them. It was heart-breaking, but IT WORKED!

KangaMummy · 18/11/2004 11:30

Yes I am sorry I posted about this now because she is really talking rubbish

sorry everyone

She has never had a baby for nights

I am sorry didn't realise it would be with such a stupid woman

I bet she is trying to sell books

OP posts:
nailpolish · 18/11/2004 11:32

beansprout

MistressMary · 18/11/2004 11:32

Why do they spout this kind of stuff?

KangaMummy · 18/11/2004 11:33

I should have read the link but I was on the phone at the same time so just linked it

I am so sorry for doing this

A complete nutter

OP posts:
Socci · 18/11/2004 11:35

Message withdrawn

beansprout · 18/11/2004 11:36

No worries KM.
What did she say though? Ds wont dtop crying - Should I leave him?!

alexsmum · 18/11/2004 11:37

i've got to say,I have never done controlled crying just because for me,it would be too stressful and I would rather bring baby into bed with me and let them go back off snuggled up to me.HOWEVER, I have had to put ds out in the garden in his pram before now because it was that or throw him through the window.The nspcc advises you to put your child down and walk away from them when the crying is getting too much.This woman is giving advice from the position of never having been through it herself.Which is nice advice, but let's face it before you've been through it you can't imagine that brain numbing tiredness can you?

Slinky · 18/11/2004 11:37

Also the daft old bat didn't take into account babies with older siblings.

Sometimes DD2 had to be left crying whilst I sorted out food/bathtime/changed DS1s nappies.

Perhaps if she'd spent several weeks (day and night!) in a household with several children then she might realise her "studies" were a load of b**cks!

Gobbledigook · 18/11/2004 11:41

"According to Margot's research, a child that has been brought up with ample affection and human touch will be a less-fearful, calmer person"

Makes perfect sense.

BUT, parents who leave their child to cry for a short while, rather than picking up at every wimper are not starving their child of affection or human touch. Is she talking about people who totally blank and ignore a screaming baby for hours on end? If so, she's probably got a valid point and IMO that's child abuse. Most who try controlled crying don't do that though.

Every morning ds3 goes down for a nap at 11am. He's 12 wks old and I swaddle him, cuddle him for a while and say 'shhhh' in his ear, give him kisses and then put him down. Sometimes he makes no noise and goes straight off, sometimes he wimpers and whines for a bit but he's asleep in 5 minutes.

The other lady in the article says she left her daughter crying for 1.5hrs the first night and 1hr the next. Hmmm, I've done 'controlled crying' but never left a baby clearly distressed for more than 5-10 mins. Even so, she only did it for 3 nights and has had full nights sleep ever since! Much better for the family all round than a mother or father dead on their feet for 3 years till the little tike decides night time is for sleeping!!

Got a feeling this one might get contentious KangaMummy.

Also got a feeling I'll be in trouble from some quarters for leaving mine to cry to 5 mins - can't seem to do anything right on here!!

beansmum · 18/11/2004 11:42

I always said I would never leave bean to cry, but at 4am when I have to be up at 6 and I know he's not hungry I can't really see the harm in letting him complain for a while.

I was totally shocked at myself the first time I just stayed in bed but I'm afraid my mental health is important too.

joanneg · 18/11/2004 11:43

I cant believe that she made a correlation between children being on anti depressants because of controlled crying!!

What she is basically saying is we are a stressed out nation and a lot of children are on anti depressants - therefore the stress part of their brain has been exposed to 'over stress' when they are a baby. A lot of parent use contol crying, ummm that could be stressful - BINGO!
It is like putting 2 and 2 together and coming up with 5!! Everytime they asked about the research when she was interviewed she never once could give a straight answer about facts, stats and the actual science.

I think this is irresposible and so presumptious. What about babies with colic who cry. It is going to worry a lot of mums and dads and I think it is so silly. And from a woman with no children!!

Gobbledigook · 18/11/2004 11:45

Oh yes, forgotten about the 'what if you've got other children' - IMPOSSIBLE to pick up at the first sign of a wimper!

Like the rest of you, the fact that she has never had any children of her own means she can bog right off and perhaps come back and preach when she's been propping up her eyelids with matchsticks for months on end!!!

Slinky · 18/11/2004 11:45

"The other lady in the article says she left her daughter crying for 1.5hrs the first night and 1hr the next. Hmmm, I've done 'controlled crying' but never left a baby clearly distressed for more than 5-10 mins."

This is exactly why Controlled Crying gets such a bad press. CC does not mean leaving them to cry and cry for hours on end - done properly it would mean checking the baby every 5/10 minutes.

Gobbledigook · 18/11/2004 11:46

Didn't see the actual interview - was she crap?

joanneg · 18/11/2004 11:46

She also distinctly said that parenting books were encouraging leaving your baby to cry. Every parentng book I have read suggest controlled crying for period of 5 - 10 minutes - so I dont even know what books she has been reading! It is obvious that to leave a baby crying for 6 hours is going to stress the baby out! But that is not what controlled crying is!

fostermum · 18/11/2004 11:47

no one is saying leave your child for hours alone to scream check regulary,to make sure there clean dry ect, but if alls well then leaving to cry till they sleep is ok in my eyes.
imagine how people with damaged children now feel wondering if they done some thing wrong!