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Original poster

Really traumatising to do covid test swab on 5 year old

34 replies

RoseslnTheHospital · 07/02/2022 15:59

My 5 year old DS is utterly terrified of having nasal swabs done for covid tests - to the point where we have to physically restrain him to do it and he is absolutely beside himself with terror. He screams at top volume throughout, cries his eyes out and tries to kick and escape. We can only manage to do the test because my DP is very large and strong so between us we can restrain him and do the test.

My other DS has now tested positive for covid, and so in order for my younger child to go to school we are now expected (by the school) to do daily lateral flow tests for my younger DS. I am very worried that having to forcible carry out these tests daily is going to be too much for my younger DS and really traumatise him. Never mind that I am always terrified that I am going to really hurt him as he's thrashing around so much when I'm actually doing the nasal swab.

I actually really don't want to restrain him at all for these tests, but the alternative is that we can't test him at all, and then I don't know where we stand with sending him to school.

Does anyone have any advice on how to handle this?? I should say that my younger DS has some social communication difficulties and we are in the process of getting an EHCP for him as a result.

OP posts:
NotPennysBoat · 07/02/2022 16:01

My 4yo and 6yo do them themselves?

Original poster
RoseslnTheHospital · 07/02/2022 16:02

He wouldn't do it, it would be a flat refusal.

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 07/02/2022 16:07

What schoolyear is he op? DS 6, is the same

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5 year olds Behaviour & development Covid-19 Families
Original poster
RoseslnTheHospital · 07/02/2022 16:08

Year 1, he's young for the year as he is a summer birthday.

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 07/02/2022 16:10

I got covid NY. Made it clear to school. I wasn't testing him daily due to he trauma. He missed three days (DH stopped testing day 8 so DS could go in then with just one swab).

If he's non compulsory school age, if just keep him off. If he is compulsory, talk to school and explain yo u cannot do it daily and try and trach a compromise.

DS has agreed I can do it when he sleeps. He does wake a lite but doesn't get distressed.

gogohm · 07/02/2022 16:12

Tried bribery? I found it was excellent for medical procedures - a full blood draw got McDonald's and the mri without sedation got a trip to the theatre. Perhaps get a box of heroes or similar and one per swab?

OhCarolinaReaper · 07/02/2022 16:13

My friend was struggling with swabbing her five year old - then discovered doing it when her dd was still asleep was a lot less stressful all round.

PiratePetespajamas · 07/02/2022 16:14

Okay, two things:

I’ve had to do them on a two year old. It’s traumatising, yes, but plenty of children have to have much worse medical procedures - I think THEY will probably forget, although you might not. Tried chocolate bribery - something really good? Have you really explained the process? I mean…maybe let him have a go on you, though I WOULD be a bit hesitant as he could unwittingly ram it too far. I have found my young 6 year old can manage it fine, after a very distressing first go.

All that said: if it’s really too much - for all of you - just don’t do it. Don’t send him, if a school won’t accept him without. He’s probably going to get it anyway from his sibling and he’s so young it’s not going to be a disaster if he misses a few days (and it will probably only BE a few days now?).

OliveOyl321 · 07/02/2022 16:16

This would be my worst nightmare. My DD(6) is exactly the same. We’ve done a few tests and for each one she gotten so worked up to the point where she’s crying and trying to move away. She says she’s so scared of them. I tried to ease this anxiety by calling them experiments (she loves science stuff) and getting her involved in the post-swab stuff which she likes. It’s awful to see her so upset though when she’s getting it done. She’s genuinely scared no matter how much I try to comfort and cuddle her.
To the PP whose kids do their own! Wow! What’s your secret? I’d be worried she wouldn’t put it in far enough if I left her to do it herself.

MacaroniCheeseCat · 07/02/2022 16:18

So your choice is to swab him for school, send him to school un-swabbed, or keep at home?

If you have to swab him, this is what worked for us. DC1 here is 6 and very sensitive about anything medical. After one bout of pinning, I decided we weren’t doing that again unless there was a clinical imperative.

What has worked with him is to effectively de-sensitise him to the swabs by buying some of those cotton buds you get in Boots. Get him to look at it. Tickle his arm with it. Tickle his cheek with it. Stroke his nose with it. Then stroke his nostril with it. Then inside his nostril just a bit. Etc. Eventually, we got DC1 sufficiently comfortable with this that he was able to do his own nasal swab without tears. It does take about four times as long as it would if he would just stick it up his nose in the first place - but it does reduce the distress by about nine tenths.

healthylifestylee · 07/02/2022 16:18

Just swab gently inside the nostril and do your best
Kids are kids

cheekychaplin · 07/02/2022 16:19

I wouldn't send mine to school in this situation anyway, but, can you not just do the swab when they are sleeping?

Hugasauras · 07/02/2022 16:19

I stopped worrying about trying to get the swab right up there. It's horrible and nasty for them, and I'm comfortable that just getting the swab a little bit into the nose is sufficient and better than nothing. Most people I know with toddlers who have tested positive have only managed that anyway 🤷‍♀️

SummerHouse · 07/02/2022 16:20

@RoseslnTheHospital

He wouldn't do it, it would be a flat refusal.
Try it with a cotton bud. If it's a flat refusal then so be it. But my DS constantly baffles me with my expectations of what he will and will not do.
goodnightgrumble · 07/02/2022 16:21

Asleep worked for us!

paname · 07/02/2022 16:21

Swab while sleeping. During the day desensitise him to it. Get a cotton bud and just touch it to his nose or his cheek or wherever doesn't bother him and give him a chocolate button. Slowly get closer to the nose but only move at his pace. Let him do it himself with a mirror. Lots and lots of praise and chocolate. He will get there eventually.

Hugasauras · 07/02/2022 16:21

Oh and I just do it when DD is asleep now. If you aren't ramming it up there but just doing gentle circles inside the nostril then they might sleep through it.

I'm sure some people will be horrified I don't do it 'properly' though, but it's as much as I'm willing to do with a toddler. I saw the kids terrified of getting their flu vaccines because they thought it was another Covid swab. I'll happily test myself and get that swab as high as I can, but I'm not doing it to DD.

MotherOfCrocodiles · 07/02/2022 16:23

My 4 year old will do herself in return for chocolate buttons.

Failing that, I'd tell school and if necessary keep him home, If you can manage that with work etc

Original poster
RoseslnTheHospital · 07/02/2022 16:26

I've explained it, he knows what it is and why and could explain it back to you. Still no dice. I have tried bribery, he literally couldn't care less about it no matter what I offer him.

I know that other children have to go through much worse procedures. I did as I child, my DS has as a baby and as a young toddler but he doesn't remember those. I was forcibly restrained as a child by medical staff to have a blood test done, and that led to many years of medical/needle phobia.

I might try letting him have a go on me or DP and see if that helps, and then maybe I will have to talk to school and discuss what the options are regarding attendance if we decide not to test him.

OP posts:
NotPennysBoat · 07/02/2022 16:29

It really doesn't need to go all the way up, a little tickle up the nostril has picked up both of my DCs when positive. Good luck x

Trisket · 07/02/2022 16:29

We found it nearly impossible to do with DS aged 8 (so I appreciate he is a bit older) first time. He now 'tests' one of his soft toys first, using a cotton bud first and then pretending to swap it in the solution. He really pokes hard! But it works, even though he knows it is just pretend. He is then willing to undergo the test himself. For some reason it gives him some sense of control, and we've never had a problem since. Maybe worth a try?

Original poster
RoseslnTheHospital · 07/02/2022 16:32

@MacaroniCheeseCat

So your choice is to swab him for school, send him to school un-swabbed, or keep at home?

If you have to swab him, this is what worked for us. DC1 here is 6 and very sensitive about anything medical. After one bout of pinning, I decided we weren’t doing that again unless there was a clinical imperative.

What has worked with him is to effectively de-sensitise him to the swabs by buying some of those cotton buds you get in Boots. Get him to look at it. Tickle his arm with it. Tickle his cheek with it. Stroke his nose with it. Then stroke his nostril with it. Then inside his nostril just a bit. Etc. Eventually, we got DC1 sufficiently comfortable with this that he was able to do his own nasal swab without tears. It does take about four times as long as it would if he would just stick it up his nose in the first place - but it does reduce the distress by about nine tenths.

School guidance is that we are "strongly advised" to do daily lateral flow tests on siblings with no symptoms. So, we are not being required to, but they would not be very happy if we didn't. I would prefer to send him in un-swabbed for as long as he has no symptoms. I don't think I can unilaterally decide to keep him home as that would be an unauthorised absence, and be a nightmare for work.

I think the desensitising you describe might help, certainly worth a try. thank you.

OP posts:
Hangingtrousers · 07/02/2022 16:47

Asleep worked for us at the start with dd aged 5. 2 year old I had to pin but actually only one poke got a blazing positve so you don't need much.
I was relieved when dd finally tested positve because then the testing could stop.

Ozanj · 07/02/2022 16:52

How far up are you going? If he hates it you’re probably going too far - I got a professional covid test recently and I could barely feel it. So I was def going in too far when I did mine!!

GiveMeNovocain · 07/02/2022 16:56

I'd do a cheek swab rather than the nose. If he's infectious it should show up. No point subjecting him to a nasal swab if he's upset by it