Really traumatising to do covid test swab on 5 year old

[RoseslnTheHospital]

My 5 year old DS is utterly terrified of having nasal swabs done for covid tests - to the point where we have to physically restrain him to do it and he is absolutely beside himself with terror. He screams at top volume throughout, cries his eyes out and tries to kick and escape. We can only manage to do the test because my DP is very large and strong so between us we can restrain him and do the test.

My other DS has now tested positive for covid, and so in order for my younger child to go to school we are now expected (by the school) to do daily lateral flow tests for my younger DS. I am very worried that having to forcible carry out these tests daily is going to be too much for my younger DS and really traumatise him. Never mind that I am always terrified that I am going to really hurt him as he's thrashing around so much when I'm actually doing the nasal swab.

I actually really don't want to restrain him at all for these tests, but the alternative is that we can't test him at all, and then I don't know where we stand with sending him to school.

Does anyone have any advice on how to handle this?? I should say that my younger DS has some social communication difficulties and we are in the process of getting an EHCP for him as a result.

@Ozanj

How far up are you going? If he hates it you’re probably going too far - I got a professional covid test recently and I could barely feel it. So I was def going in too far when I did mine!!

I'm trying not to go too far, but as he is wriggling, flailing, kicking I would imagine I probably have poked him at some point.

I've just now had a chat with him and introduced the idea of cotton buds and he was happy to have a go with one up my nose (!) and was happy, after plenty of reassurance that I wasn't going to try to test him again today, to touch his own face with a cotton bud and even to touch his own nose. So I think I may be able to get somewhere with persuading him to do his own, eventually, even if it's not a perfect test.

In my experience OP, the lateral flow tests don't seem very reliable at giving a positive result until symptoms are kicking in anyway. In your situation, I would keep him off if he displays any symptoms at all, including a high temperature, but not test otherwise. All my 4 children had slightly raised tenoerstures and very few other symptoms at all. We did the lateral flow tests, but they were very hit and miss. Their temperatures were a more reliable indicator for us. So perhaps a daily temp test instead? A lateral flow test didn't pick up my covid, until what I now know was about day 4 or 5, when it was blindingly obvious anyway! They're just not worth it in my opinion. That's just my experience though, for myself, husband and 4 kids.

The sleeping tip might be worth a try though!

Luckily my DD has always been quite going with them, but we did a few videos of her doing them to share with the mum's WhatsApp group, so the kids that really hates it could see it wasn't that bad, it didn't help all, but helped a couple of them, is there anyone you know who's kid is ok with it and would do a video? Otherwise, I know people that just do it when their kid is asleep.

Good, not going

Good luck @RoseslnTheHospital, I really sympathise - we suspect DC1 is neurodiverse/possibly autistic and he really struggles with this kind of thing (and bribes don’t work). I think desensitising is worthwhile anyway, partly to avoid it becoming a transferable issue to other medical procedures but partly because I suspect we may have to test for some time yet.

I hate the "other children go through worse" argument. It might work on you as an adult but we're talking about young children.
DS is scared of lots of things due to his medical history, he should be automatically OK with it because someone else is worse off. We've worked really hard to get him OK in the dentist, ultrasound etc, he still is petrified of blood tests. That's OK. Not ideal, and he has to have it, but it's actually OK for kids to be scared instead of shamed into compliance

DS has SEND and is nearly 5. We have previously pinned him in eg a car seat but he is getting too big now. One of the other posters has given great advice about desensitisation and we also do a lot of taking about 'being brave'. DS has to have regular meds, as well as hospital appointments etc so this has been working well but not a quick solution!

Asleep may work as well in the meantime!

Good luck

@paname

Swab while sleeping. During the day desensitise him to it. Get a cotton bud and just touch it to his nose or his cheek or wherever doesn't bother him and give him a chocolate button. Slowly get closer to the nose but only move at his pace. Let him do it himself with a mirror. Lots and lots of praise and chocolate. He will get there eventually.

They don't all get there eventually. I gave up after 2 years

My 6 yr old ds was similar and I’d hear of friends swabbing their son every day and think how?? For him it was about control. After a long, long, looong chat he gradually tried it himself and will now do them himself. He’s very proud of it.