How old does your five year old hurt you?

[Iwasonline]

Just that really. Asking out of self doubt, self pity and concern for my crappy parenting

How often....that is supposed to say

How old or how does? Only verbally, the very occasional you don’t love me.

Sorry. How often does your five year old hurt you.
I meant physically.

Physically or verbally?

Sorry you're going through this.

I have a 4 year old (nearly 5) and he’s never hurt me.

What happened?

He doesn’t. Are you okay, OP? X

I have a 5 year old and never

Mine is 6 next month and never has purposefully hurt anyone that I am aware of.

I’m sorry things are hard right now and I hope you have support in real life xx

Nothing in particular. It just upsets me to get so regularly hurt. In town the other day he was pulling my hair, scratching me and biting me

My DD, now aged nearly 7 was an absolute creature at 5. She is no where near as bad but she always used to lash out if things didn’t go her way, trying to punch kick scratch etc. Now it’s much more foot stamping and slamming doors rather than actual physical aggression. She is quite emotionally charged - after having three laid back sons this was a shock. I am hoping it will all dissipate as she gets older.

Does he have additional needs?

My 5 year old son has never hurt me

Thank you for confirming. He's in year R and school say no evidence of any issue. They're brilliant but he just doesn't display those behaviours at school

I have a 5 year old. Has never hurt me and always gentle. Something is going on op
sounds as though your ds needs some support (and you too)

DS has never hit me. I have never hit him either.

It is very common for people to say that tantrums and loosing the plot is part of parcel of being a child. It doesn’t have to be. I think I have had it that easy because DS never got anything out of being nasty apart of a more time on the naughty step or a bigger told off. I think one of the key things was some advice I got that you should not allow physically nasty behaviour from the moment they can speak.

It is never too late to stop pandering to bad behaviour. He hits you, you acknowledge the frustration, explain it is not ok to hit and let him have it out alone in his room or somewhere safe until he calms down.

Op, there will be a lot of people that would come and say that probably he has special needs, or is taking any frustration/anxiety he may have on you because he is safe with you.

This is true in some cases, but before you go on that direction (and I say that with ASD running wild in my family), consider the possibility that he may be behaving worse at home because he knows that at home he can get away with it.

I have had four children and they've never hurt me. Go and speak to their school and get some support.
I'm sorry you're going through this.

I seriously do doubt my parenting. I don't know what to do

You probably just need to be a bit firmer with him. Does he have consequences?

Never as I wouldn’t tolerate it.

When DS2 was a toddler he might lash out, I would deal with it by holding his hands away from me and saying NO! No hitting.

I feel pretty strongly it’s part of my job as a parent to teach them physical boundaries and how to behave as a reasonable human being, so if they attempted to hurt me age 5 they’d get a swift dose of reality. Probably a really harsh consequence like losing the thing they care most about with no mercy and no backing down on my part. Boundaries, consistency.

Kids lash out. Some more than others. They feel safe at home so they can let go of their emotions at home.

Don't feel like there is something wrong with you or him. You need to work together to find a way to channel that anger and frustration.

I feel for you, OP. DS is aged 4, nearly 5 (the size of a 6yo though) and has never hurt me. When he's got really angry and frustrated, he's half-heartedly hit my body with his hand, or he's thrown things in my general direction. In that case I've always reacted strongly and asked for (and got) an immediate apology. Later when he's calmed down, we talk about what made him angry and why it is never ok to hit someone.

If your DS has got away with it in the past, then perhaps it's time to lay down some new house rules, explain why it's not allowed and what will happen if he does it. Then stick to the consequences and follow through. He's young and you can change his behaviour.

None of mine have hurt me and I actually have a child with autism but he never does anything like that. A friend has had issues with this with her daughters. Also no additional needs with any of them. If school are saying that there are no issues then set boundaries in place and have consequences for his behaviour. Try and find what the trigger is for the difficult behaviour. Could he be just overwhelmed and over tired after school? The fact they you are worried about it and trying to find a solution means that you are a good parent.

No, my 5 year old girl doesn't this at all. Sorry, op, the parenting guilt is constant over one thing or another, I know. This does sound a bit unusual to me and like you may need a bit of help to steer you little one away from this behaviour. All the best with it