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Original poster

9 months old baby and new puppy that I did not really wanted, help please I’m going mad

34 replies

vihcsarapame · 29/01/2022 23:43

Hi, I’m writing to you as I have no one else that seems to understand me 😑 and I feel like i’m going crazy plus I feel like i’m losing my relationship.
My partner who is a dog person, he had a dog that died, which I never met, he grew up with loads of dogs and his parents have about 5 or more dogs at the moment. so dogs are his life
he always said he wanted a dog, he tried last year to get one from romania but he couldn’t so he gave up
I always been a cat person, never had a dog, I’ve been bitten by one when I was little I still have his scars on my leg, my parents never let me have a dog as they always thought is a big responsibility and they couldn’t deal with it so I always been afraid of them, very, and never really liked dogs at all, but i do love animals. so few weeks ago we were watching videos on internet while our son was sleeping and I saw a cute video with dogs and babies and I was like ohh our son would probably like a dog, but I wasn’t actually thinking what that actually means, my boyfriend next day started to look for puppies I told him i’m not sure he said it would be great for our son and bla bla and I believed, and in my stupidness with the thought that would make my baby son happy I said yes let’s have a dog, but I wanted something small and cute but he didn’t so he got one, an alapaha blue blood bulldog, which I wasn’t really happy with as it gets big and I just want to be safe in my house, he got it in couple of days, so I did not really had time to think it over, puppy is here now, boyfriend got new job just now, I was happy first day the puppy came in as it was cute and stuff, my baby was scared and cried, my cat hates the dog and wants to kill him, next day with the puppy it was horrific, and every day since after, i wake up in the morning and it’s shit everywhere, ai barely have time for myself with the baby, i was stressed before as I’m on my own I have no family or friend just me and him and now it’s like we got a new baby that i have to clean shit after, I hate it, i tried to tell him and he got mad, he doesn’t want to give it back, I feel bad, I can’t be happy when the only time i had for myself now I have to clean piss and shout at the dog to not bite everything in his way, plus the cat, and since the day the puppy came I feel my relationship is broken Idk I have nothing with the dog is just it’s not for me and I feel so shitty that I said yes and I did not thought better before, I feel like I just want to leave
I can’t see any positive future neither as my boyfriend says in the future will be easier the dog will listen and the cat will be ok and bla bla but I can’t even take the dog out to do his errands because I need to watch my baby and care for him , as well I feel like my boyfriend doesn’t pay that much attention to the baby as he has to cook dog meals and I don’t like that neither but he loves dog so much he will hate me forever if I say to give it back, he probably won’t anyway but i what should I do…

OP posts:
LittleOwl153 · 29/01/2022 23:51

If he wants to keep the dog, he needs to be cleaning up after it and confining it to areas of the house that can be left if you don't have time but that the baby can't get to.
If he is out at work all day and you cannot walk it he needs to organise and pay for a dog walker too otherwise this pup is going to grow into a big frustrated dog!

You've clearly made a mistake. However if you cannot solve this in a way that works for the baby then maybe you do need to leave. I'd loose respect for a man who was so clearly obsessed for a pet he didn't have time to care for his child too...

Interrobanger · 29/01/2022 23:56

Either he cleans up the all the shit and piss and takes full responsibility for the dog, or he chooses between you and the puppy.

Duchess379 · 29/01/2022 23:56

Your bf sounds like a 12yr old. This situation is not fair on you, your baby & the cat & dog. Dog needs to rehomed. It needs guidance in the early stages so it grows up a social happy pup that's house trained. If bf doesn't agree, kick him out with the dog so you can get back to normality.
I have 3 dogs & they were hard work as puppies. Good luck 👍🏻

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Dontknownow86 · 29/01/2022 23:58

How long have you had the dog? If only a couple of weeks he needs to contact the breeder and ask of they can can take him back. Puppies are a nightmare, I have no clue what he was thinking.

AgathaX · 29/01/2022 23:58

Puppies need extensive training. Up every couple of hours initially through the night taking them out to toilet, more frequently throughout the day.
Biting, gnawing is normal for puppies until after teething.
You sound like you don't know what to do with this puppy. Not surprising as you didn't plan for it or want it.
It's not going to get better without you and your partner putting the hours in to train it. It's unkind and unfair to keep it without that commitment.

Frazzled2207 · 30/01/2022 00:01

I think you’ve both been irresponsible wrt the dog. Where on earth did your dp get a puppy in two days?! I’d be worried about the origins of the poor pup

Anyway the dog is here. I wouldn’t want to “send it back” as I doubt it has come from a reputable home. You need to make it clear that your doll, as the “dog person” needs to pull his weight with all the clearing up, walking, vet visits and so on. Unless you nip this in the bud now your relationship with him could unravel.

Obviously if you really can’t cope with the dog then you both need to think about rehoming him

Frazzled2207 · 30/01/2022 00:04

And yeah if he really thinks the dog is more important than you and your dc then both he and the dog have to leave.
Your dp needs to grow up.

PermanentTemporary · 30/01/2022 00:04

I'd ring the breeder tomorrow and get the dog rehomed. You were both a bit daft deciding to get a puppy with a 9-month old (and so was the breeder: are they legit?) but as you're doing most of the care, sort it out yourself.

Teenylittlefella · 30/01/2022 00:05

Jesus Christ. There is no way on earth an alaphala blue blood and my baby would ever be in the same space. One false move and it would be all over for the child.

OnaBegonia · 30/01/2022 00:20

The speed he acquired this pup suggests BYB, plus it will have cost
£1000s.
Where is your boyfriend in the training/cleaning up?
You're not a doggy person so I'd suggest he chooses puppy or family.

AwkwardPaws27 · 30/01/2022 00:28

That's a large, powerful dog. It needs training; we have a cocker spaniel and spent the first few weeks taking him outside every 30-60 minutes to toilet.
Puppies bite and chew, it's totally normal and shouting is only going to make the dog stressed & chew more (chewing is a calming behaviour).
Your partner needs to organise appropriate care or rehome the dog.

mathanxiety · 30/01/2022 00:38

Give the puppy back.

Do it as soon as you possibly can. Do you have the number for the breeder?

If your DP refuses, then you will have to tell him it's the dog or you.

The puppy will need round the clock care for weeks, total attention to properly train him for months - potty training as well as obedience training, socialising with other dogs, training in walking on a lead, and exercise and constant vigilance forever around your child. If your DP isn't going to be available for the 24 hours attention the dog needs then you have to insist the dog goes.

Aquamarine1029 · 30/01/2022 00:44

This situation has disaster written all over it. The dog has to go or you and the baby do.

Rhannion · 30/01/2022 00:49

For your child’s sake and for the sake of the dog , re home the poor dog. You have both been irresponsible and it’s not the dog’s fault.

FailureToLurk · 30/01/2022 00:49

I'm sure he's very cute and adorable, but you are going to have a strong and territorial dog on your hands as it grows.

This breed needs loads of socialisation to avoid issues with strangers and other animals/dogs.

Neither of you can care and raise this bully right now, DP is working, you are caring for a baby who's needs come first.

The dog must be returned, you'll be doing it a huge disservice if you keep it without appropriately training it and socialising it.

Rhannion · 30/01/2022 00:50

This situation could end up in a tragedy for your child.

elizabethdraper · 30/01/2022 01:00

Fantastic family doy, brilliant with kids but only if trained, socialized and knows it's pack position.

You clearly not in a position to do this

You need to regime asap before you do any more damage which will prevent it having a happy life
Stop shouting at it

StrawberryPot · 30/01/2022 01:19

To get a dog like that so quickly it's from a backyard breeder. Someone out to exploit living creatures for financial gain with little concern for their welfare. Scum basically.

You boyfriend is a massive idiot. It's up to him to train the dog.
Housetraining and caring for a puppy is hard work - like having a baby (or worse as you can put a nappy on a baby and they don't run around). And please don't shout at it.

Since your bf seems to think the puppy is going to magically train itself and it won't, the best thing you could do is get in touch with the Dogs Trust who shouldn't have too much difficulty finding a good home for such a young dog. Please don't return it to the breeder.

RalphLaurenG · 30/01/2022 01:27

God almighty! Absolutely no way would I have that dog around my child, much less a sudden puppy that has appeared that quickly. That's nothing against the dog btw, it's just a recipe for disaster.

If your dp wants it, then he has to do the leg work abs make this situation work.

5zeds · 30/01/2022 01:57

Absolutely unworkable. The dog must go back. I have had many babies and many dogs.

Frazzled2207 · 30/01/2022 08:42

Jus re-read so you are basically in charge of the dog and the baby while he goes out to work? So he is taking almost no responsibility in training it?

He is totally unreasonable. You’ve got more than enough on your plate. In this case it would be me (and the child) or the dog. I’d absolutely not want the dog to go back to the breeder though as they clearly didn’t vet your dp at all. You may need to find a charity to help. As a puppy he should be relatively easy to regime to a family who are properly prepared and have been waiting years

Frazzled2207 · 30/01/2022 08:42

To re-home not regime!

userxx · 30/01/2022 08:50

Of course it's like having another baby because that's exactly what it is ! Please stop shouting at the pup, it's done nothing wrong, save your shouting for the idiot who brought the pup into your home. What a dickhead.

ANameChangeAgain · 30/01/2022 08:51

This is really sad for the puppy and very unfair to you. Your partner has been selfish. A Bulldog would have cost a considerable amount of money. Reputable breeders will take back puppies and refund part of what he paid.
I'm a dog person, and I would say that raising dogs around small children is fine, but training is absolutely essential.
I agree with pp that he needs to properly take responsibility for his dog, ie training, cleaning, day care, or for the pups and his family's sake return him to his breeder.

BuanoKubiamVej · 30/01/2022 08:56

This is horrific. Dogs need experienced training and handling to be socialised. You shouldn't be in this position and the dog needs to go asap. You are heading for having a badly trained dog that is a danger to other animals and children and with a 9 month old you simply don't have the resources to learn what to do to avoid this. The dog's best chance of a good life is to be rehomed asap whilst it is still a puppy.

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