9 months old baby and new puppy that I did not really wanted, help please I’m going mad

[vihcsarapame]

Hi, I’m writing to you as I have no one else that seems to understand me 😑 and I feel like i’m going crazy plus I feel like i’m losing my relationship.
My partner who is a dog person, he had a dog that died, which I never met, he grew up with loads of dogs and his parents have about 5 or more dogs at the moment. so dogs are his life
he always said he wanted a dog, he tried last year to get one from romania but he couldn’t so he gave up
I always been a cat person, never had a dog, I’ve been bitten by one when I was little I still have his scars on my leg, my parents never let me have a dog as they always thought is a big responsibility and they couldn’t deal with it so I always been afraid of them, very, and never really liked dogs at all, but i do love animals. so few weeks ago we were watching videos on internet while our son was sleeping and I saw a cute video with dogs and babies and I was like ohh our son would probably like a dog, but I wasn’t actually thinking what that actually means, my boyfriend next day started to look for puppies I told him i’m not sure he said it would be great for our son and bla bla and I believed, and in my stupidness with the thought that would make my baby son happy I said yes let’s have a dog, but I wanted something small and cute but he didn’t so he got one, an alapaha blue blood bulldog, which I wasn’t really happy with as it gets big and I just want to be safe in my house, he got it in couple of days, so I did not really had time to think it over, puppy is here now, boyfriend got new job just now, I was happy first day the puppy came in as it was cute and stuff, my baby was scared and cried, my cat hates the dog and wants to kill him, next day with the puppy it was horrific, and every day since after, i wake up in the morning and it’s shit everywhere, ai barely have time for myself with the baby, i was stressed before as I’m on my own I have no family or friend just me and him and now it’s like we got a new baby that i have to clean shit after, I hate it, i tried to tell him and he got mad, he doesn’t want to give it back, I feel bad, I can’t be happy when the only time i had for myself now I have to clean piss and shout at the dog to not bite everything in his way, plus the cat, and since the day the puppy came I feel my relationship is broken Idk I have nothing with the dog is just it’s not for me and I feel so shitty that I said yes and I did not thought better before, I feel like I just want to leave
I can’t see any positive future neither as my boyfriend says in the future will be easier the dog will listen and the cat will be ok and bla bla but I can’t even take the dog out to do his errands because I need to watch my baby and care for him , as well I feel like my boyfriend doesn’t pay that much attention to the baby as he has to cook dog meals and I don’t like that neither but he loves dog so much he will hate me forever if I say to give it back, he probably won’t anyway but i what should I do…

Absolutely what @BuanoKubiamVej said.

Your BF isn’t responsible dog owner, otherwise he would have done his research before bringing a dog into your home with a new baby and would already be making every effort to ensure the puppy is well trained and safe.

The situation will get worse, not better, as the dog gets older and stronger. Rehome it ASAP.

I never had any animals in the house. Outside cats sometimes. Husband is a dog person, but I flat said no to a dog. Last year, after 6 months of softening me up my H brought home a beautiful ragdoll kitten.

1. The breed was something we mutually agreed on (2 breeds actually)
2. it was clear that there is a 1 month cooling off period. We are a family. He is not living alone. We all need to feel good in our own home.
3. WE assessed the situation after 2 weeks and I was adamant that the kitten had to go, but agreed on 2 more weeks of trial. She grew on me. :)
4. Even the starting situation was: I am not responsible for said cat. He wants it, so cleaning, playing, feeding,.. all his responsibility. I did cook for the bloody cat for 2 months for health reasons and by volunteering, but finally found a food she is not allergic to and switched.

1 year in:

• I do the litter tray sometimes, by my own choosing
• I feed the cat if I wake up earlier
• I play with said cat when I want to. If she wants to play and I don't I simply tell H to do it. His cat.

@TheSunIsStillShining

I never had any animals in the house. Outside cats sometimes. Husband is a dog person, but I flat said no to a dog. Last year, after 6 months of softening me up my H brought home a beautiful ragdoll kitten.

1. The breed was something we mutually agreed on (2 breeds actually)
2. it was clear that there is a 1 month cooling off period. We are a family. He is not living alone. We all need to feel good in our own home.
3. WE assessed the situation after 2 weeks and I was adamant that the kitten had to go, but agreed on 2 more weeks of trial. She grew on me. :)
4. Even the starting situation was: I am not responsible for said cat. He wants it, so cleaning, playing, feeding,.. all his responsibility. I did cook for the bloody cat for 2 months for health reasons and by volunteering, but finally found a food she is not allergic to and switched.

1 year in:

• I do the litter tray sometimes, by my own choosing
• I feed the cat if I wake up earlier
• I play with said cat when I want to. If she wants to play and I don't I simply tell H to do it. His cat.

Absolutely agree with your points about discussing in advance & the pet-wanter taking responsibility for the pet.

This isn't possible with a puppy & being out at work though - they need pretty much constant supervision in the first few months until you've solidly cracked toilet training (whereas kittens are usually taught by their mothers to use a tray & catch on pretty quickly). You can't just leave a puppy to toilet in the house all day & clean up when you get home as you'll never toilet train them that way.

OPs partner is at work & she's caring for a baby - how she can take a puppy out to toilet every hour & supervise the baby?

Puppy will soon be a big bouncy doesn't-know-its-own-strength adolescent, right around the time baby will be starting to walk.

OP has done zero research, didn't agree to the breed, & knows nothing about dog training (shouting at a puppy to stop chewing!).

The best thing is to rehome now before a) puppy becomes out of control adolescent who still isn't toilet trained or b) puppy injures baby and is destroyed because no one trained it.

Cricky ... There's no way I could have coped with a puppy while my son was so young. Unfortunately live and learn, but no way I'd have something that could be a danger to baby.

We had similar situation, except I was about 13. My dad wanted a dog, got one and took NO responsibility for it's training. All on my mum and she couldn't cope with it. It used every part of house as a toilet, it bit me... In the end it was given back to breeder.

Leave him alone for a full 24h with the dog, baby and cat and list of chores. He will change his mind, or at least pull his finger out of his arse..

There is absolutely no way I would have left an untrained stressed puppy of any breed, never mind this breed, and my immobile baby alone with a man who has already done the 'baby period isn't for me, I'll be back when they're talking' move so many of us know all too well. It is a bitter truth that some parents simply opt out of truly engaging with parenting a baby, that too many of those parents are men and that the other parent just has to step up because there isn't another option.

Has the dog gone?

Get rid of the bf and the dog. Life is too short for this hassle. I don't allow dogs in my house.

Please take the puppy back to the breeder as a matter of urgency so it can be rehomed to a family who want him and know how to care for him. You don't want him and your partner (who sounds beyond useless) clearly has no idea what he's taken on. For the dogs sake please take him back to the breeder, this is totally unfair on him. God posts like this make my blood boil.