Harder going from 0-1 or 1-2?

[seasunshine22]

Just as the title says really, did you find it harder going from 0-1 children or 1-2 children?
If you found if harder going from 1-2 what age gap did you have?

1-2! 1 was so easy I could just pick him up and go. I think the reason people say going from 2-3 isn't much different is because going from 1-2 is so hard! You have to plan much more with 2, you're way more tired. You have to kids who need your attention, to be put to bed, to have their bums wiped etc. Obviously it's lovely to have 2 kids to hug and do all the nice things but that's hard to do at the same time so one always feels jealous. And there's double the mum guilt.
As much as it's the hardest thing I've ever done and if I knew then what I know now I would still have 2 though. Their bond is amazing when they're not fighting! And they'll always have each other. We can be quite self contained as they like playing together, whereas people i know with one kid always want to things with other families so their kid have someone to play with. I really like spending time just as a family.

Forgot to say we had a 3 year age gap.

0-1 hardest.

1-2 easy but we had a ten year gap so it was like doing 0-1 again but with experience and an already-disrupted life :o

2-3 hard - like parenting "leveled up" but not as big a change as the first one. 3 year gap. House feels fuller now, 3 with all different ages and stages can be overwhelming.

1-2 was harder for me. Age gap 18 months. My first was extremely easy and my second was really difficult. My best friend had the same age gap and she would say 0-1 was harder. She had the difficult baby first.
I think it really depends in the baby tbh.

1-2 was harder for me but mine were both 12 months apart 😮

0-1 by a country mile.

0-1 100%, hardest time of my life!
1-2 so far has been an pleasant surprise, not always easy but miles better than I expected.

0-1 - your life explodes, every aspect of it is docent and it’s a hard and stressful time.
1-2 - bliss. New baby just slides in, you already know everything and have everything, no stress. So much easier

0-1 definitely hardest. Difficult baby and a complete loss of spontaneity and change of lifestyle. Baby 2 just slotted right In. No jealousy. Nearly 3 year age gap, anecdotally about 3 years is the easiest gap as you are still in young child mode, they are close enough in age together, and the oldest is that bit more independent and can be reasoned with (compared to a 1-2 year old at least).

0-1 harder for sure.

1-2 your old life is already gone!!!

0-1 100%

I then went 1-3 and it was a breeze in comparison 😂

0-1 by a million miles. I found it so so hard.

1-2 was a complete breeze. It had and still has its moments, there is less downtime for sure but I was already in the parenting zone. I didn’t stress about stuff with DD2. I knew it was all a phase. DD2 had no choice but slot into our life as it was really.

We have a 3yr gap & they are the best of friends. We’ve been really lucky with that, they really love each other. They play together all the time, which gives me time to sit down & have a drink 🙌🏼

0-1 without any doubt!!!

I was like you and petrified of the jump to 2 when pregnant, but weirdly I feel way more in control now than I did at this point with one.

I've written a blog with some tips on helping your toddler prepare for the new baby which might be helpful :)

thelondonbump.co.uk/2022/02/19/helping-my-toddler-adjust-to-our-new-baby/

0-1 worst by far. My first was actually the best sleeper by far but the birth was awful, breastfeeding awful, exH unsupportive, returned to full time work 3m pp. Only 21 no mum friends.

Had a further 4 with current DH.
2&3 have a 17m gap, then 8yrs between 3&4 and 22m between 4&5. None great sleepers. Varied breastfeeding experiences, but yeah 0-1 by far the hardest.

0–1. With the second baby you already know how to do all the stuff, you just increase the amount of stuff you have to do simultaneously.

Doing the baby thing, 1-2 was easier as. I knew what to expect post partum.

The juggling act? Without a doubt, 1-2 has been hard, especially as we have no family support in terms of childcare (even just having them for an hour in the day), so we don't get out much or ever get a break really. Now I'm back to work, it is harder than ever juggling them both (they're 3 and a half and 1). I have NO idea how anyone has more than 2!

0-1, big shock!

I didn't find 0-1 tricky at all tbh, it was far less of an upheaval than I imagined. 1-2, I didnt find difficult as a transition, but it was obviously a lot of work - far more than twice the work of just one child. I found the transition of a static baby and a toddler, to mobile baby/toddler + toddler the hardest transition, and an incredibly difficult period though

0-1 hands down! It’s life changing in a way you just can’t comprehend. 1-2 was great; had its challenges but I was so much more prepared and realistic about what to expect. I was used to not living a child-free life. Just under 2 year gap.

1-2 was definitely harder, but then I had an easy first (I have 3 now and first was the easiest😅)
They're all 2.5 years apart.

0-1 was biggest change, number 1 was a sicky and clingy baby. Baby 2 onward have just slot in, we wanted a 2 year gap between 1st 2 but had miscarriages. Our gaps are 1-2 5yr, 2-3 16.5mth, 3-4/5 just under 3yr, 4/5-6 6yr.
Twins with others was exhausting but not particularly hard work, our youngest is 6mth and an absolute delight (good sleeper and a very happy baby).

@Moonbabysmum I'm at that stage now and it's SUCH hard work!

1-2 much harder but there’s a 5 year gap, hyperemesis gravidarum and csection so diff circumstances

0-1 but both have been hard. I feel like with two there’s no downtime and more drudgery. There’s 3.5 years between our two and DD was becoming a very easy and wonderful companion. Now we’re back to carting around a ton of stuff and having to think about naps etc. DDs behaviour has also been pretty bad since her brother arrived.

I don’t have happy babies who sleep though! I have babies who have cows milk allergies, eczema and reflux. DS2 has been better than DD1 as he’s definitely much more chilled and not colicky, but the poor kid has been so poorly because his big sister brings home ALL the germs from nursery including covid.

1-2 was way harder!