Harder going from 0-1 or 1-2?

[seasunshine22]

Just as the title says really, did you find it harder going from 0-1 children or 1-2 children?
If you found if harder going from 1-2 what age gap did you have?

0-1 by a country mile. I really struggled with my loss of my independence.

0-1 much harder, I worried so so much all of the time! 1-2 was nice I felt much more settled and it was less intense having the two of them, my eldest was four so lovely to chat to too which made maternity leave made me feel less insane

0-1 by a long way for me, but I do think so much of it is about expectation. I thought the newborn bit would be awful again with DS2 and we'd just have to grit our teeth and get through it - turned out to be lovely. But I'm not sure I'd have found it so easy if I'd found it easier the first time round if that makes sense. 2.5 year gap.

Both!

2-3 was easy!

I found both of them pretty easy to be honest. 2-3 was a different ball game. Everyone's situations will be different though as it will depend on the age of your eldest when second is born. How your births and recovery were. How well the baby sleeps etc.

0-1 very hard, 1-2 Nearly 4 years between them. Took a few weeks to get into the swing of things but 6 weeks in and I’m so glad of our age gao

0-1. 2.5 years between mine. It is a lot more work but you have more confidence in what you are doing.

However from the experience of friends, if you have a very easy baby the first time and not the second time it can be a shock. One person in my NCT group who slept all the time, fed every 3 hours for a short time and only woke once at night. Second baby didn't sleep or feed well at all and the parents found it harder the second time.

I found 0-1 surprisingly easy so I decided to have another straight away

1-2 was definitely a shock to the system for me. Although, I do have a very small gap of 13 months and my oldest was very tricky as a toddler (recently diagnosed with ADHD) so that could explain it. It is worth it now they are 3 and 4 and best of friends.

0-1 was the hardest for me. 3 year gap between 1-2.

I think it depends on your individual children. Mine are pretty laid back and not prone to tantrums. If you had a very high maintenance or high energy toddler while having a newborn, that sounds hellish to me.

2 to 3 was the hardest for me...2 at school then starting again.....1 to 2 was fine ....I was still in baby mode as eldest was in nappies/not at nursery

1-2 without a doubt!

Potty training toddler alongside frequent baby nappies, toddler tantrums all day & colicky baby all night...argh!

0-1 harder as you dont know the full impact of having a baby

1-2 was easier and with a nearly 3 year age gap only 1 was in nappies and dd could help bring nappies/wipes. She also started her free nursery hours so I had 1-2-1 time with ds

0-1 for me mentally, the complete change and stress of it all. 1-2 has been more physically tiring though as no chance for down time, naps when baby sleeps etc

@Hercisback

0-1 by a mile.

1-2 is relentless but the newborn is easy.

Absolutely this. Newborn stage is a doddle.

Age difference 2 years

1-2. 18 month gap.
It was relentless!

Both hard, I'd say 1-2 probably harder as you have even less chance to sleep or have a moment to yourself, plus all the squabbling. I had mine 16m apart. I've had a couple of years of the youngest being dreadful during the night and the eldest waking at 5 without fail. Youngest is 3 inApril and it's starting to get a little easier. The good moments make it all worth it.

I have 3dc.
Hardest was 0-1 by a long shot!

I think like others said it does make a difference if you have your easiest baby first...you may be super lucky and have lots of easy babies...but the contrast is hard if you have an easy one and then a more fretful one. My first was the colicky one bless her so number 2 was probably always going to seem much easier. One thing I loved about my mat leave that time round was the routine of the school runs...sounds silly but it really helped give our day structure and I never had the feeling of the ten hours that my partner works sort of stretching out ahead of us which I sometimes had with number one. It made the days feel shorter and there was some order which helped me a lot.

Depends on the personality of the child. We have 3DC. 18 month gap then 3 year gap.

For us 0 to 1 was hardest, then 2 to 3, and 1 to 2 was easiest. But my DC are teenagers and my second child has always been and is still very easy going so that probably had an impact as well.

1-2 as you have other child to deal with too. We had 2.5yr age gap.

1-2, found 1 child (who slept well almost from birth) very easy to fit around life. The second was like a bomb dropped, took 10 months to feel like I had the parenting thing down again.

It depends on a lot of variables, but for us we struggled badly with going from 0-1 whereas 1-2 was straightforward. Becoming parents and the adjustments and change it brought was a massive thing to get used to. DS2 arrived when DS1 was 2.5, so our lives had already adjusted to parenthood and were also fresh in the baby/toddler stage. DS2 just fitted in like he'd always been there and there wasn't much change in our day to day lives. The first year of having two just flew by whereas the first six months of parenthood left me feeling like I'd been hit by a train.

1-2 - 2.5 years between them.
0-1 was a cake walk. Easy baby, slept a lot, happy, set his own nap schedule etc.

By the time DS2 was born, whilst he was also easy and happiest baby alive, DS1 was a freakin’ hurricane and I was back at work FT when DS2 was 5 months.
The first 3 years of his life were like a bomb had gone off.