Big banana advice

[DaddyTee]

No, the subject is not a pun!

My wife and I had a bit of an argument over our son this morning because for breakfast he asked for a banana and a cereal bar (belvita chocolate bake - see image). Now, I regularly say to them that they eat their fruit before their cereal bar but forgot this morning. Our son of 7 years this morning decided to eat 2/3 of his banana (similar size is shown in the picture) and then eat all of his breakfast bar and then said he was too full for his banana. My wife and I have fallen out because I said to him to eat the rest of his banana and she thinks the banana was a big banana and he has eaten enough. My argument is that if he had room to eat the "chocolate" cereal bar, he should have room to eat the banana. Also, I know for a fact, if you said to him do you want these Haribo sweets he'd find room for them.

My wife and I often fall out over his eating because he'll never be too full to eat his sweets and chocolate, but not eat all his meal because he is "too full", my wife will then say "you've eaten a good amount" and then he will eat a cornetto ice-cream (they have ice-cream every night after tea). He doesn't do this every time but it is often enough for us to fall out over it.

To be clear, if he didn't eat all of his cereal bar and said he was too full, I would not have asked him to finish it, it is mostly sugar and chocolate and would not ever ask them to finish anything like that.

Do you think I am being too forceful or do you think I am doing the right thing please?

He has eaten his fill so why would you want to force him to eat more? If you would rather he didn't eat the breakfast bars then don't buy them and encourage him to eat a healthier cereal? Weetabix or porridge or whatever.

I wouldn’t give a chocolate biscuit for breakfast. Make toast instead.

Sorry posted too soon.

But in your situation I wouldn’t make him finish the banana. If you don’t want him having chocolate biscuits for breakfast, don’t buy them.

If you’re concerned about his diet, keep what is essentially chocolate biscuits, and the ice creams, for occasional treats!

I don't mind them eating a cereal bar so long as they eat their fruit first.

Although I would prefer them to eat a healthier cereal, that would probably cause another argument between us. There was a time when they would just have a cereal bar, it was my insistence that they have fruit first because I disagreed that a cereal bar was a healthy enough breakfast in the first place.

I wouldn’t have made him finish the banana.

But tbh his diet doesn’t sound great. It sounds like there’s stress about (overall) minor things while he continues to eat badly - ice cream every day and chocolate for breakfast really isn’t good.

I’d channel your understandable frustration into making a proper change.

Also, 2/3 of them don't like milk (we have 3 boys). I think the youngest one (3 years old) just like to have what his brothers have (understandable imo).

Posted too soon, also don’t make a big deal about finishing the banana if he sats he’s full. That just creates bad habits of overeating.

You should never force someone to eat more when they claim to be full.

Don’t make food a battle ground. Don’t offer desserts you’re not happy for your child to eat, regardless of what other food he has eaten that day. 1 ice-cream a day is not problematic. If it’s ice cream after tea, plus biscuits for snacks, plus some chocolate after school etc then you need to look at making some changes - like a household rule that snacks between meals can be fruit or bread and cheese or toast or yogurt but not biscuits or chocolate.
The whole ´you can’t have pudding until you’ve finished your dinner’ idea is unhelpful and can lead to kids under or overeating to avoid foods they dislike or get foods they like. You want your child to listen to their hunger cues and adjust their food intake accordingly.

@DaddyTee

Also, 2/3 of them don't like milk (we have 3 boys). I think the youngest one (3 years old) just like to have what his brothers have (understandable imo).

Make sure they get plenty of calcium from other sources then. Cheese, yoghurt, green leafy veg, nuts, seeds, pulses, tinned fish

No, I don't think you're doing the right thing! Stop forcing your child to eat.

You get to say what he gets to eat.
He gets to decide how much.

If you don't like him eating the cereal bar don't provide it as an option.

You're just creating arbitrary rules and unnecessary arguments about eating.

Children should learn to eat to their appetite and stop when full. Stop enforcing stupid "clear your plate" rules.

I understand all of what you are saying, my argument is though that if we offered some sweets, I know he'd eat those, so I'm not convinced he is full. But fair enough, if you all agree that you'd not have forced him, I will apologise to him tonight. Do you think I should continue to say eat all your fruit first?

It does look a big banana - maybe try buying the baby ones so he gets used to finishing a piece of fruit. Also, I find kids eat more fruit if it's chopped up (I prefer that too!).

My argument is that if he had room to eat the "chocolate" cereal bar, he should have room to eat the banana

This doesn't make any sense whatsoever. 😂

@DropYourSword

No, I don't think you're doing the right thing! Stop forcing your child to eat.

You get to say what he gets to eat.
He gets to decide how much.

If you don't like him eating the cereal bar don't provide it as an option.

You're just creating arbitrary rules and unnecessary arguments about eating.

Children should learn to eat to their appetite and stop when full. Stop enforcing stupid "clear your plate" rules.

I wouldn't choose to offer him these cereal bars, my wife buys them and offers it to them because she knows they like them. Perhaps this should be discussed with my wife then, and also, please take note in my last paragraph in my opening post:

To be clear, if he didn't eat all of his cereal bar and said he was too full, I would not have asked him to finish it, it is mostly sugar and chocolate and would not ever ask them to finish anything like that.

my argument is though that if we offered some sweets, I know he'd eat those, so I'm not convinced he is full.

That doesn't matter though. You don't offer him any sweets and he doesn't get to snack on shit a short while after because he's "hungry"

There’s no point arguing about the minor details when he’s eating so much sugar. Three quarters of a big banana, all of a small banana… it make no real difference when he’s having what are essentially chocolate biscuits for breakfast and a big ice cream every day after dinner. If you want to improve his diet maybe try saving the crap for the weekend. But as a general rule it’s not healthy to overeat past the point of being full so don’t push them to finish.

Bananas are filling and a bit sickly when you eat too much. Just because he could happily eat sweets doesn't mean he hasn't had enough banana. Stop being such a food tyrant.

If you want him to find a banana exciting then don’t give him what is essentially a chocolate bar for breakfast, a banana is always going to find it difficult to compete with a chocolate bar! Does he have much protein in his diet? If he was having eggs then the banana would be the yummy part of the breakfast.

I do think it's a good idea for them to eat fruit first before treats, but if he is full then don't make him eat more just for the sake of it.

I also Agree that chocolate biscuit for breakfast is not great - even if they won't eat cereal with milk there are healthier cereal bars (or make your own) or something like wholemeal toast would be better and more filling than a biscuit.

I'm glad mine are now all adult/teen and I no longer have to have all the food negotiations 🙂

He'd be finishing the banana if he has room for chocolate! It's not like you were trying to force him to eat a entire meal! Maybe just don't give them the cereal bar until they've actually eaten all their fruit, don't finish the fruit, don't get the cereal bar.

I can understand why you feel you need to stick to your guns, when you have different ideas on acceptable diet, and your insistence on fruit with breakfast is a fair one. But I wouldn't have given a banana that size to one child, I'd have cut it in half and shared it between two or put half in the freezer (peeler frozen bananas are a great ice cream alternative). I wouldn't make a child eat a banana that size in one go, I deliberately avoid bananas that big in shops even if it is more expensive to get the smaller ones.

That's so much sugar for breakfast. Will the eat eggs?