When is it going to get easier?!

[Kaya1990]

Ok so I have to admit parenting, motherhood is not for me! He doesnt sleep, my husband had to move to the guest bedroom because i have to sleep with our son, and i had a promise with myself it would never happen but i gave up. Standing by the crib most of the night or holding a heavy baby was just too much at some point. He still wakes up alot, always crying, toss and turn constantly, it is just easier for me to handle it in bed. He is constantly moaning and whinging during the day (apparently not at all with his daddy). I tried everything, he has his routine every day. He goes to sleep with full belly, still eating at night, no more bottle for the past couple of months, he just refused it one day and now we dont even try anymore, he only eats bread with butter at night! Crazy. Nothing works. He gets upset so often, screams and cries. He is only one year old. Things supposed to start getting easier not harder. I am fed up and if i could i would give up. What else to do to make him sleep better at night? If i get one proper night of sleep maybe i will have some more energy and power during the day..

There are hundreds of threads on here about this. I suggest you read them - great suggestion s about routines etc. but mostly your baby is one and they will grow out of it. But it takes a while. Most children’s sleep have improved by the time they are three. I’m sorry it’s hellish. It will get better. But maybe not very soon.

Sounds like something could be bothering him. Does he sleep better with a dose of calories?

Calpol*

What's his daily routine?

I also wouldn't suggest giving Calpol to help him sleep

To answer your question.
My son was like this at 1.
14 months we turned a corner. I had to shift his routine around abit, trial and error but we got there.

And as most things, it does get easier.

15 months onwards was a breakthrough for us. The development of walking/running/talking = a much happier baby who knackered himself out and slept better. Hang in there - the first year is so tough x

Can you afford a sleep consultant?

@ProfessorSillyStuff he gets Calpol occasionally when his teething gets worse and no, doesn’t really help now. It used to before from time to time (he is teething since 6 weeks old), but he used to sleep better before too regardless. By “better” i mean 3-4 hrs of not disturb sleep after putting him down for a night so I could get some cleaning and cooking done which is impossible during the day.

@PinkMoon22 what have you changed? Maybe more ideas will help me find a way for him.
I am thinking how to answer your question about the routine he used to have one nap in the morning and second one in the afternoon when we went for a walk, both at similar time every day. Bath every other evening. And then just play time time in between that and feeding. Doesnt sound much as a routine to me atm but there are other small things we always do like putting toys away every evening before we go to bed. We always try to stick to all of those little things we do on daily basis but for months now he fights me constantly when it comes to changing nappy, nap or bed time etc.
@pennysays 3 years?!?! They should come up with some medicine to go through all that for few years

@LakeShoreD how much can that be roughly? Never thought of that, will google some more info!
@AliceW89 thank you. Literally cant wait

Info we need;
Wake up time
Nap time and length
Lunch time
Naps time and length
Bedtime

I had to tweak the naps, either by bringing forward abit or pushing back. Same with bedtime.
It takes afew days of the same routine to notice a difference, so if it doesn't work after 4/5 days, adjust again.

So what does your husband do to help? I breastfed so mine took the baby down early every weekend morning and I stayed in bed.

Mine haven’t yet got easier but the challenges change and I can cope with different. I can’t cope with the same issue endlessly

My 14 month old is walking and only has 1 nap per day so she sleeps fairly well at night but I’m run off my feet all day stopping her causing carnage.

My 3 year old started sleeping through in his own bed from about 2.5, we had 4 months of sleeping bliss before DD arrived. But by 3 they get cheeky and tantrummy so that’s a different issue.

My dd is the same age and I don't follow a strict routine. She wouldn't let me, she's far too strong willed. I basically let her run around until she is so tired she can't keep going. Then she will sit up on my knee to go to sleep/sleep in the pram/bouncer/car seat. She does still take a bottle si I think that helps.
She is also quite restless during the night and sometimes wakes up and tosses and turns and moans for up to 2 hours.
Do you think he's in pain?

@PinkMoon22 right now is little bit all over the place and it is getting worse.
Wakes up any time from 5am to 6am

@PinkMoon22
First nap between 10-11 for about 1-1.5hr
Second nap around 3 when we go for a walk but lately he wont go to sleep. He will fight till his bed time which is around 7pm. I never really make sure lunch is same time but it is usually before we go for a walk so any time from 1pm to 3pm.

@Spottybotty20 mu husband has different rota every week with night shifts (he doesnt stay home then for couple of days) and day shifts but he leaves before we are up and comes back when baby is in bed so usually only helps out at home little bit. When he is off he tries to do what needs to be done at home. I started a part time job two weeks ago and he is using his holiday to take care of the baby twice a week (childcare issues for few months atm but its a different story) so he is fully on daddy duty then.

@Thatsplentyjack tossing and turning is killing me! He as well needs few hours, snd then again and again few time per night. I literally cannot say if he is in pain. Teething sometimes for sure. He used to be very colicky, had reflux, constipation but it all seems to be gone for some time.

Straight off if he's not having his afternoon nap (if he does I wouldn't do it as late as 3)
start moving his morning nap gradually later by 15 minutes until you hit a good time for a midday nap. So only having one nap.
Mine went down 12:30, after dinner at 11:45.

Waking up at say 12 and bedtime for 7 is abit of a long stint for a 1 year old so he's likely to be overtired which can result in the waking up and early rising.

On a morning get yourselves out the house, park, feed ducks, walk round the block etc tire him out.

Afternoons can be more chilled, still go on your walks, potter about.

I would also try and give him something other than bread and butter before bed, this could be abit heavy for his stomach and causing some pain. Worth a try.

@LakeShoreD just did some research. Looks very interesting. Have you used their services before bu any chance? Gotta speak to my husband as it is not cheap but might be worth it

@PinkMoon22 it makes sense to start moving his first nap forward. Will try. He had two naps always some time ago but now I totally agree 7 hrs between nap and bed time is way too much.

I agree with going for 1 good long nap after lunch. Might take a few weeks to get it set.

I am confused by the eating bread and butter only at night- you mean you feed him in the middle of the night or at bedtime? Does he eat well in the day- lots of protein and veg with carbs?

I don't think he needs two long naps. I think by that age mine just slept 12-2 or 1-3 if with childminder. I think 10-11 they would be doing something active.

Put him on one nap, sounds like he's ready. Nap at 11.30, then lunch. Or the other way around.

Also, sleep train him! He cries and wakes and moans as you're there. My sleep lady was £70. Best money I ever spent and she saved my sanity.

Its a lie that people tell new mums basically. I think it gets easier(ish) from 3ish. Saying that our eldest who is 4.5 still wakes most nights. Bedtime still takes over an hour, and shes a 'good sleeper' compared to many of her friends.

I didn’t personally use a sleep consultant, my babies’ challenges lay elsewhere, but I know loads of people that did and the results seem pretty miraculous!

@JustWonderingIfYou sorry, what i meant is he has a sandwich (just bread and butter) at night when he wakes up, little bit every time he wakes up actually. He doesnt give me any troubles with feeding during the day and I make sure his diet is on point every day, but few months ago, all of the sudden he just refused to have milk (formula, never been breastfeeding) and he was crying hungry, after some time we found out what he actually wants and it was bread with butter (!) till now🤷🏻‍♀️ We have been trying numerous time to get him used to the milk again but eventually stopped as it felt like waste of time. He doesnt want regular milk either although we dont give up and try to give him until he gets used to the taste i guess.

Did some research about the sleep consultation and will be getting it shortly. Never on earth heard of that before! Hope it will help

I can’t remember recommended wake times at that age, but mine are 20 months and have done this schedule since 16 months:
7 am get up
8am breakfast
12.15 lunch
1-3 nap
5pm dinner
6.30 bf or milk in sippy cup
7.30 bed (yours would want bed at 7 I think)

I think you need some more consistent timings. He’s overtired and so waking up really early (sounds counterintuitive doesn't it!). Start with meals at consistent times to fit in with new lunch time nap. Good luck!