When is it going to get easier?!

[Kaya1990]

Ok so I have to admit parenting, motherhood is not for me! He doesnt sleep, my husband had to move to the guest bedroom because i have to sleep with our son, and i had a promise with myself it would never happen but i gave up. Standing by the crib most of the night or holding a heavy baby was just too much at some point. He still wakes up alot, always crying, toss and turn constantly, it is just easier for me to handle it in bed. He is constantly moaning and whinging during the day (apparently not at all with his daddy). I tried everything, he has his routine every day. He goes to sleep with full belly, still eating at night, no more bottle for the past couple of months, he just refused it one day and now we dont even try anymore, he only eats bread with butter at night! Crazy. Nothing works. He gets upset so often, screams and cries. He is only one year old. Things supposed to start getting easier not harder. I am fed up and if i could i would give up. What else to do to make him sleep better at night? If i get one proper night of sleep maybe i will have some more energy and power during the day..

Hello OP, I think you may have just told us what the problem is: I'm sorry but it is a bit bonkers to be feeding him bread and butter in the night! He's 1, right? He really doesn't need it, or milk, and it might even be exacerbating his sleeping as a) he has come to expect it so of course he'll want it and b) he might have trouble digesting it. That's my tuppence-worth anyway.

I've been there and I know how desperate you get for "solutions" but I honestly think this is going to be making your problems worse rather than better. Focus on feeding him up during the day and if he wakes at night only offer water. That's what I would do anyway.

Also, if he's 15 months or older I'd try going for just one nap after lunch.

That’s what I was wondering too? We know as adults eating something heavy before bed often causes discomfort. OP what is his diet like? is he drinking enough?

I think bread and butter at night will be encouraging the wake up. You have added a meal time and his body is now used to it and probably feels hungry without it. Same as if you stopped eating dinner.

He doesn't need anything at night at his age. I would offer a cup of milk at bedtime or maybe even natural yogurt if he doesn't like milk.

Early wake ups are generally caused by overtiredness. You need a better routine. 1 nap, aim for 2 hours plus between 12 and 3. No naps after 3. Bed at 7. Wake him up if he sleeps late in the morning.

Just saw your post re routine and yes I agree with other posters that you could tighten them up a bit. I know it sounds a bit regimen-like but honestly it can make the world of difference- and this is what any sleep consultant will tell you too (I should know, I used two!!)

Sounds like he's starting to fight the second nap, so I would move towards one big nap from about 12-230 or something, with lunch at 1130. (This can move later when he's older)

Then a snack at 3, dinner at 5 and in bed by 645. Also mid morning snack at about 930

Good luck! x

I think he may be waking so much in the night as he’s over tired if going from 12pm til 7pm without sleep. As other posters suggest I would go for one nap in the middle of the day. The transition will take a while but during the transition bring bedtime forward if he isn’t napping for ages. When my Dd was going down to one nap sometimes her bedtime was as early as 5.30pm. This was to avoid her getting overtired.
When she is overtired she wakes in the night and wakes early for the day so definitely could be that.

What really helped our very difficult and always awake DC to sleep through the night is an app called "little ones". You have to pay for it once but it has valuable advice, structured routines based on wake-up periods, structured self-settling techniques that fit all different approaches and a live platform where you can type any question you have and a sleep consultant will respond back to you or other mummies with similar experiences. I am not sponsoring the app and I have no benefit from it, it's just my experience that I wanted to share.

Could he be lactose intolerant and so having tummy ache when put down to sleep?

Gets easier at about 18 months then you have a decent run until they reach about 14 years.

I used a sleep consultant for my son and it was the best investment.

It definitly gets easier and all dcs ate different. I totally disagree it gets easier at 18 months though.....mine were adorable but v physical, constantly moving, no concentration span meant v v short play like minutes basically and total dangers to themselves all the time...but it does get so much easier around 4. I had huge sleep issues with one of mine too. You will get there op..

Re sleep, i bf but stopped at 18 months and my dh and i would alternate. So i would put in my ear plugs and go to spare room , we have an attic room and my dh would go in for every wake and try and sooth baby. It definitly worked for two of ours but one of ours nothing worked, we believe it was severe reflux and now he is older he is v v sensitive to labels , seams etc . NT child but has issues with clothes , he wont sleep now if in anyway uncomfortable.

Thanks all. Fyi - he is 13 months.
@Rrrob will try to be more consistent!
@Miriam101 we are dealing with his sleeping issues way before the “bread situation”, but you are right it is no good for him and I was totally desperate to find smth for him to soothe him while he just refused the bottle and was crying and crying hungry. He gets water firsr and i try to put him back to sleep but it never seems to be enough i guess he is so used to it now it wont be easy.
@thickthighs73 i believe he has plenty of water. I am not a big fun of any baby juices etc so he only gets water (and we are trying to give him regular milk now but so far he doesnt like it). He has plenty of veggies, eggs, meat, fish, fruits etc.
Everything home made. Baby porridge etc

@Hopitihop will look at the app tonight, thank u.

Will try to reply to rest of the messages later. It all makes sense and will start introducing these changes asap