Husband span newborn around?

[showersandflowers]

My husband just scan our newborn around like you see people do on tv with toddlers. I'm terrified of shaken baby syndrome. Should I be worried? Am I freaking out over nothing?!

He sounds pretty stupid. I've always found most men are absolutely terrified to hold tiny babies and are usually extra gentle with them rather than the other way round.

checked how, by whom.

Difficult to know without having seen what happened but I think there's lots of overreaction here. Part of the role of 'dad' is doing the riskier physical play which mum's don't do so much (and usually terrifies them to see...). Our friend has always been really physical with his baby e.g. lying him on a pillow and dropping him on the bed from a foot or so when he was very tiny, turning him upside down early on etc. But he's really good at judging risk and as a result his baby has the best core strength I've ever seen, and they have a great bond together.

@showersandflowers

She is 12 days today

He sounds like an absolute idiot. I wouldn’t trust him with a stuffed toy never mind a baby if that’s what he’s doing.

I think it’s really hard to tell what actually happened from the description.

What an idiot. Glad she’s had a check up.

He is a great dad and dotes on her but trying to get him to do research on newborns has been an absolute nightmare.

This must be so stressful for you, but please don’t bury your head in the sand with the “he is a great dad” line. Nothing here, including his refusal to educate himself, suggests he is a great dad or has any hope of becoming one without a lot of change. It sounds like he’s going to have to work hard to become even a safe dad.

@MissHoney85

Difficult to know without having seen what happened but I think there's lots of overreaction here. Part of the role of 'dad' is doing the riskier physical play which mum's don't do so much (and usually terrifies them to see...). Our friend has always been really physical with his baby e.g. lying him on a pillow and dropping him on the bed from a foot or so when he was very tiny, turning him upside down early on etc. But he's really good at judging risk and as a result his baby has the best core strength I've ever seen, and they have a great bond together.

Absolute bollocks. Zero “risky” play is safe for a tiny baby.

You can hold a newborn under their arms and still have their neck and head supported with your hand. It’s hard to judge how bad it was without actually seeing. I’m glad to read the baby is fine.

@MissHoney85

Difficult to know without having seen what happened but I think there's lots of overreaction here. Part of the role of 'dad' is doing the riskier physical play which mum's don't do so much (and usually terrifies them to see...). Our friend has always been really physical with his baby e.g. lying him on a pillow and dropping him on the bed from a foot or so when he was very tiny, turning him upside down early on etc. But he's really good at judging risk and as a result his baby has the best core strength I've ever seen, and they have a great bond together.

Your friend sounds like an idiot. Dropping a baby onto a pillow or holding it upside down won't give it better core strength - what a stupid thing to think. 🙄

I don't think it sounds like he was being aggressive, or trying to hurt the baby - it sounds like he was trying to play with the baby. It's not sensible and I wouldn't recommend it but honestly you've had a word with him now and babies are actually really resilient (you truly don't need to treat them like they are made of glass). My family member does similar with her babies as newborns to be honest and it looks pretty shocking to watch it but actually she's not harming them - neither of her babies have been hurt - she is just a little rougher than I would personally be. But babies are not that fragile, have you ever watched a midwife or doctor doing a baby check? As long as baby was being held close to dad and had their head supported its very unlikely the motion would have caused any harm because dad was moving with the baby and the momentum is different, I'm not sure what enjoyment he thinks a 3 month old is going to get out of it though. However, if I am picturing it wrong and he actually threw the baby and spun them away from him that's obviously very different and pure stupidity.

@MissHoney85

Difficult to know without having seen what happened but I think there's lots of overreaction here. Part of the role of 'dad' is doing the riskier physical play which mum's don't do so much (and usually terrifies them to see...). Our friend has always been really physical with his baby e.g. lying him on a pillow and dropping him on the bed from a foot or so when he was very tiny, turning him upside down early on etc. But he's really good at judging risk and as a result his baby has the best core strength I've ever seen, and they have a great bond together.

With respect that is one of the stupidest things I've ever heard

@TheWeeDonkey

I’m Pretty sure the person running our NCT class said something similarly ridiculous… defo along those lines of dads abs rough play

I think it’s an OTT reaction
I’d tell your partner off but there was no need to get baby checked out and in doing so that hospital or gp admission is going to be on file.

You should expect a call from health visitor to see how you are all coping - it’s what they do when he’ll had been sought

Personally for this over reaction I would not be wanting authorities keeping an eye on me

@MissHoney85 with respect your friend is a fucking moron. Why does a baby/child need core strength. What a ridiculous observation. Sounds like he needs investigating for being abusive not to be praised for manhandling a tiny baby. Unbelievable

There was a thread running recently asking the craziest thing you'd ever read on MN or something like that. Your post @MissHoney85 is a serious contender.

Core strength in a baby 😂

Wtf is the actual point. It’s not like they are going to be able to show off at Body Pump.

Actually the risk that jumps out at me from this thread is the dog....I always worry about dogs who are used to rough and tumble with humans being acceptable being around kids.

It sounds like in this instance he was well-meaning...I think NCT do an early days course which might be worth going on as if you have to spoon feed him the basics of newborn care it's likely to build resentment. When she's a sturdy toddler and preschooler zooming and physical play will be great fun for her, and like one person said part of the strengths of many dad's is that they lead on this kind of play. But obv not while she is so fragile and tiny.

@SparklingLime

He is a great dad and dotes on her but trying to get him to do research on newborns has been an absolute nightmare.

This must be so stressful for you, but please don’t bury your head in the sand with the “he is a great dad” line. Nothing here, including his refusal to educate himself, suggests he is a great dad or has any hope of becoming one without a lot of change. It sounds like he’s going to have to work hard to become even a safe dad.

This.