The mornings are so stressful.

[Lottiebugz22]

No matter how organised we are. Clothes are out, shoes are out. Everything is prepped and organised. I have a 3 year old and a 4 month old. My 3 year old refuses to get dressed, brush her teeth, let me do her hair for a good part of the morning to where finally she cooperates after allot of encouragement at around 10 minutes before we need to leave to get to nursery for 8am. It is always rushed and stressful and I have no time to make myself look presentable which makes me feel rubbish. I just feel like I'm failing as a parent at this. I just don't know how to sort it out. What is everyone else's mornings like😕?

What does the 3yo do in the mornings whilst refusing to dress? Is it tv or toys? Or does she languish over her breakfast?

Tell me about it, I have 4 children and the mornings have always been so hectic!! I thought it would get easier/better as they got older but it hasn’t. I dream of the weekends when I don’t have to get up for school run.

I don't have a strict time to be out of the door (nursery only) and my DH helps too which is key.

I have 2,5yo (nursery) and 9mo (nanny) and I do all prep the evening before. Then if I know I have a "time to leave by" I do myself first (so I wash dress eat). Then I do the small one (that cannot object so sternly). Then we both tackle the older one. Also I have been known to leave with one shoe on only, no jacket, and no breakfast. Depends how much in a hurry I am. Many things can be dealt with "on the go".

Could you not get yourself ready first? Instead of arguing for half an hour?

I have a 7 year olds but the thing that helps me is to get up and sort myself first, prepared lunch boxes, uniforms the night before and then just woke up the kids help them dress, get them breakfast and go.

I would get yourself up earlier and get ready. Then toddler. Then baby. It's not an issue if baby leaves house in pjs.

Running around the living room screaming and kicking me basically....

Sounds like my mornings, 3 year old and a 2 month old. I leave the house looking terrible and the house is in an absolute state. I need to be more organised but I just want to fall into bed of an evening when kids are asleep. Can’t get up earlier to get myself ready as we’re all up at the crack of dawn anyway. Every morning I think this is the day it will be easier haha still waiting!

I used to tell mine she only gets TV after she’s dressed and ready. Then I ignore any misbehaving, use the time to get the baby ready, basically give the silly behaviour zero attention and leave it up to the last possible moment when I will wrestle her if necessary. She learned quite quickly it was better for everyone to cooperate. I’ve always got myself sorted whilst DH feeds the kids breakfast. If that’s not possible then I’d get up earlier.

Slightly different as I don’t have a newborn but I do have nearly 3 year old twins.

I wash my hair in the evening, then really try to get up before they are awake - to clean my teeth, make up & get dressed etc. If I left it until they get were both ready I’d be the same as you, I would still be in my PJ’s 5 minutes before having to leave

Why does the 3 year old need to leave at 8? Seems quite early if you’re on mat leave with a baby?

@Lottiebugz22

No matter how organised we are. Clothes are out, shoes are out. Everything is prepped and organised. I have a 3 year old and a 4 month old. My 3 year old refuses to get dressed, brush her teeth, let me do her hair for a good part of the morning to where finally she cooperates after allot of encouragement at around 10 minutes before we need to leave to get to nursery for 8am. It is always rushed and stressful and I have no time to make myself look presentable which makes me feel rubbish. I just feel like I'm failing as a parent at this. I just don't know how to sort it out. What is everyone else's mornings like😕?

Take her to the car in PJs. Leave her hair and her teeth. Explain very dramatically to nursery that x wasn't cooperative so she's come in her pyjamas, what a silly. Or bribery. 5 minutes of time on device/ telly if she's ready. Working wonders with DS for reception class.

Get her up, put bfast down and get yourself ready. If she isn't going to comply, don't spend an hour failing to make her and doing nothing else.

Make sure baby is ready.

Then if she won't dress herself, pick her up and dress her, into coat and straight into car.

Is there a DH About?

I've a 4 month old and 2 year old. My mornings are exactly like this!

I get up before my DD and get myself ready. I lay out her clothes the night before and her breakfast in the morning. Then I bribe bribe bribe. Annoying but it works. In calmer moments ie not mornings I do chat to her about why being on time to school is important - polite to teacher, less of a worry for mummy etc. No idea at all if it goes in.

I also suggest getting yourself ready, let her roll around the sitting room and then at 7:50, you pick her up, put her in the car and take her to nursery. You can give her a 10 minute warning and a countdown. You can explain to her that you have to leave on time and that if she wants to go to nursery in her pjs she will and they will make her get dressed there. I'm sure she'll only do it once as she'll feel a bit silly when her friends ask her whys she not got clothes on.

Don't get cross, just jolly her along and then say "OK, it's time to go now, off we go." Perhaps give nursery a heads up first.

Would bribery work? Could you offer her a tablet with her favourite show on in the car journey to nursery for getting ready nicely?

It gets better as they age.

In our house (ages 5 and 9) you have to be downstairs and dressed before you get any breakfast. It works for us. Occasional resistance is overcome by a desire for coco pops.

Refusal to put on shoes/coats is met with us ‘going out’ anyway. It’s amazing how fast shoes and coats go on when they realise im serious (clearly, we do put them on as soon as the child changes their mind about not getting them on).

No TV allowed because it turns them into unresponsive zombies.

Get up at 5am and get yourself ready first. That's what I did when DS2 was a baby and DS1 was 2. DS2 usually woke for a feed about 5am. I'd sort that, get him settled and them get myself ready in the time that the DC were asleep.

Are we talking private nursery or school nursery? Personally, I would pack a bag of clothes for your DC containing clothes, breakfast and toothbrush. If she doesn't get ready, she gets taken to nursery with the bag.

I have threatened to take my kids to school in just their underpants many a time.

Exactly the same!!

I have an (almost) 2 year old and a 4 year old.

It is sooo stressful. Now that the youngest is nearly 2, I have found that it is starting t get easier. The girls play together which allows me to run upstairs and attempt to get ready. I've kind of accepted that I'm going to look like shit for the next couple of years. I throw on some tinted moisturiser and mascara, straighten hair and go.

Hang on in there!! It does get a bit easier eventually.

Morning's are always stressful but I found it best if I get up first and get myself ready. I don't mess about with breakfasts we all eat at nursery/school/work. They spend far too long faffing with food, spilling their drinks, arguing about who has the most milk/cereal/the blue cup and always make me late. I have to continually prompt eldest to wee and clean teeth whilst getting 3 year old ready. I then dress both children in the week myself. I'm not waiting for them to painfully slowly get dressed. They dress themselves at the weekend though when they can suddenly be super fast! Sometimes that has meant ignoring the tantrum and just physically manhandling them into clothes. They've now accepted that they just get dressed. I've found the longer we have the more they faff so we get up, get ready and go! Other things I've found helpful at different ages are a kitchen timer so they can visibly see the time they have to do something and saying "bet we can't get your dress on before the timer goes ping" or being silly "....and your pants go on your head? No you'd better show me where they go then" or "oh no this shoe is feeling lonely it needs a foot in it to cheer it up" etc etc. Basically turn the whole thing into a game, although I appreciate it's difficult to find the energy when you're tired with very little ones.

I get up first and shower and dress, then supervise kids getting dressed. Make breakfast - eat breakfast (get kid to help eg pouring milk. No screens in the morning. We always scoot so there’s something fun to leave the house for. Those are my best tips!

Mine are all older now but I never used to have the TV on if it was a nursery or school morning.

Golden rule

What improved ours (a little bit!) was a chart like this so child ticks off each activity. I just made one out of card, but there are lots of nicer ones you can pay for.

I'm also not sure about some of the comments that say to just get up earlier and get ready.

That sounds so simple but the reality is that the 4 month old is probably up all hours of the night, you are exhausted and need that sleep in the morning when you can get it. The 4 month is probably going to be up at stupid o clock when you are meant to be getting ready.

I just don't think it's as simple as some of these posts suggest.