Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Original poster

Maintenance payments if ExH retires and wants to stop paying - advice please

47 replies

LalaDipsey · 16/01/2022 16:22

Hi,
Hoping for some of the usual excellent Mumsnet advice please.
ExH has paid maintenance without a quibble since we split and it hasn't been a problem at all.

He said the other week that he is hoping to retire in 3 years, when he is 60, and that payments would then stop.

I assume he cannot do this but what does he have to do?

We have 3 DC together with the youngest being 10years old at the moment. Oldest is 13 and I expect all to continue into FT education until at least 18.

I don't know what his pension will be (We did obviously include pension pots when we divorced but that was years ago now) - he is well paid (approx £70k now) and has worked and paid into a pension all his life, with differing incomes ranging from self employed, low paid and current pay.

Many thanks
Smile

OP posts:
harriethoyle · 16/01/2022 16:26

I would be very surprised if the court ordered him to pay at the same rate when he was only drawing down his pension as compared to his salary unless they're comparable. Particularly if you were awarded part of his pension when you sorted settlement and so it's now reduced.

Morechocolatethanbarbara · 16/01/2022 16:27

Surely pension is taken as income and it would simply be taken from that?

But the legalities of it aside, what does he think resident parents do when they retire, simply stop feeding and clothing their child(ren)?

What is it with these men who assume their responsibility towards their children ends when they want it to, rather than when the child becomes an adult?

Akire · 16/01/2022 16:28

It’s based on income not where that comes from. So he still be expected to pay something for up keep of his children.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

10 year olds 13 year olds Families General money
BurntToastAgain · 16/01/2022 16:28

He’ll have to continue paying maintenance. But it’ll be based on his pension income. He doesn’t get to stop paying entirely.

Kbyodjs · 16/01/2022 16:30

Are the payments agreed in court or just between you? If just between you then he can do that and would then just have to pay the amount they work out based on his pension so if his pension is a lot less than his earnings then the payment will be less. A shitty thing to do though

DiamondBright · 16/01/2022 16:30

I would except he will need to pay maintenance from his pension payment as it's income but it's likely to be a lot less than he receives in salary especially if he opts for a higher lump sum payment.

There's nothing you can do to stop him retiring if that's what you're asking.

Mumdiva99 · 16/01/2022 16:32

Get some legal advice. The state retirement age is 68 not 60 - so why does he get to change the goal posts when the kids still need financial support?

2DogsOnMySofa · 16/01/2022 16:34

Speak to cms in you're in the uk, I'm sure there are rules in place for when a paying parent retires

CorrBlimeyGG · 16/01/2022 16:35

The state retirement age is 68 not 60 - so why does he get to change the goal posts when the kids still need financial support?

There is no compulsion on non residents parent to maximise their earning potential, as frustrating as that is.

fallfallfall · 16/01/2022 16:37

Why do you think this is illegal? What rate he pays should be based on his income, if his income drops so will his payments.
My pension income is half what my final salary was when working.

fallfallfall · 16/01/2022 16:41

A person can retire at any age the state retirement age is simply the earliest age at which you can start collecting your state pension and does not stop you from drawing down private pensions prior to that.

BurntToastAgain · 16/01/2022 16:47

@CorrBlimeyGG

The state retirement age is 68 not 60 - so why does he get to change the goal posts when the kids still need financial support?

There is no compulsion on non residents parent to maximise their earning potential, as frustrating as that is.

There’s no compulsion on either parent to maximise their earning potential.
Original poster
LalaDipsey · 16/01/2022 16:55

It's not a court ordered payment, it's agreed between us.

I don't think there's a hope of me appealing to his better nature - he has probably worked out he'll be better off retired and no incentive to keep going. However, without his maintenance we will struggle to keep the house 🙁

Good to know he has to pay something.... makes it very hard to forward plan tho.

OP posts:
FrownedUpon · 16/01/2022 16:59

@Mumdiva99

Get some legal advice. The state retirement age is 68 not 60 - so why does he get to change the goal posts when the kids still need financial support?
He can retire when he wants though, as we all can.
harriethoyle · 16/01/2022 16:59

@LalaDipsey What's your income position?

Original poster
LalaDipsey · 16/01/2022 17:04

I work part time, I come around £19k.

I have tried working Ft but found it really really hard. I am a lone parent rather than a single parent and do 100% of the childcare and mental load. ExH sees them occasionally, but never takes them out of my house. Only good thing he has done since he left is pay maintenance!

OP posts:
Autumndays123 · 16/01/2022 17:05

Could you use the next three years to up skill and increase your personal income OP? Unfortunately no one is going to stop your ex from retiring, just like no one would stop you retiring early if you wanted.

Autumndays123 · 16/01/2022 17:06

You'll have to go full time then OP. In 3 years your children will be 13 and 16 and therefore, childcare shouldn't be an issue? Problem solved

rookiemere · 16/01/2022 17:29

Your youngest will be 13 if he retires at 60, so you should be able to at least increase your hours at that point.
I hope to retire at 60 if my pensions allow me to and whilst I can see it's going to be hard when maintenance is reduced, it's not unusual not to want to keep working until 67.

Original poster
LalaDipsey · 16/01/2022 17:43

Thanks guys. It's not so much advice about what I do for work I was after - just what the legal expectation was on him. Thank you

OP posts:
MrsBertBibby · 16/01/2022 17:47

You are divorced, did you have a financial order?

fallfallfall · 16/01/2022 17:48

there is a legal minimum he has to pay based on his income.

RandomMess · 16/01/2022 18:04

Just assume you won't get much. Hopefully over the next 3 years you can improve your financial position.

Lovely how little he thinks of his DC being housed and fed!

RandomMess · 16/01/2022 18:05

Do you even think he pays now as much as he should according to CMS calculator? How many pay rises has he has since you split!

Wombat98 · 16/01/2022 18:13

Well, given the DC are relatively young, he can start looking after them if he's free all the time.

He can't pay no maintenance or do no parenting, so that you can't work.

Well, he probably can but I wouldn't make his life very easy. Definitely court or CMS...

I would definitely be looking at ways to protect or change the housing situation, you can't live in fear for the next 3 years.

Swipe left for the next trending thread