Teenager and hair removal

[extrovertedintrovertmum]

My daughter is 12 and so in Year 7 at secondary school and she’s started to comment on her body hair; legs, upper lip, eyebrows, underarms

She’s mentioned that a few girls in her year have already started shaving or waxing and is getting a bit anxious about PE and absolutely has to wear tights instead of socks to school.

I’ve told her to come to me when she’s completely ready and to not start secretly attempting to go ham with a razor on her legs. I’ve actually tried to sway her completely from shaving! I like to think we have a very close relationship and so fingers crossed she will come to me when she’s ready.

The lady that does my waxing has a daughter the exact same age and has already started waxing her DD but mine is freaking at the idea of waxing, she’s a worrier and so is expecting it to hurt real bad and I don’t want to force her so that’s off the cards for now.

Any advice on what other mums have done? We could go down the route of hair removal for her legs but I’ve actually never done this myself. Would this be the best option? If so any particular brands that are best?

Sorry seems like such a silly Q to ask but my friends don’t have children the same age (all a lot younger) and my DP can’t quite get his head around why our daughter feels the need to shave ... 😂

DD is quite hairy and took a razor to her eyebrows in year 3 because the class bully (girl) kept in at her. Since then I have waxed her eyebrows until she took it over in year 7.

She pinched my razor in year 6 to do her legs so I bought her a Venus razor if her own. She’s very good with it and has never cut herself.

Hair removal cream is easy (but it has a weird smell)
Dd shaved her legs quite a lot when she was in year 7. She's in year 8 now and doesn't seem as bothered. She's not rushing round shaving her legs the morning of her PE lesson like I was.

Dd uses the olay razors with soap bits. She started doing her legs/pits around age 11.

Get her one of this electric epilator. They are easy to use and less messy than cream or razor.

@SockFluffInTheBath

We are too hairy. Being from a mixed background our hair is also thicker and darker which is why I think she’s fretting about it. Sorry to hear about your DD being bullied into shaving her eyebrows .. I mean people pay hundreds for big fluffy brows now so more fool you bully

I could try and teach her the best ways of shaving but I had a bad experience once (teenager) where I hacked out a bit of my leg so I don’t know if I’d be the best teacher hence why I’m trying to avoid that if I can!

Dd was probably about the same age when she wanted to shave her armpits and legs. She’s almost 16 now and still just shaves.
I’m not very hairy so can shave my legs and underarms like twice a year do I just make sure we have razors in the bathroom cupboard.
I’ve brought the astrid/estrid one but she prefers mens disposable ones.

Why are you against shaving? It's fine.

Razors these days have little guard wires so won't be likely to hack bits out your legs

I would just get her a Gillette razor with the added soap/gel and shown her how to shave her legs maybe 2 days before pe, do the first one on a Friday eve to see if she reacts and needs a more sensitive approach or needs shaving foam. I wouldn't hold off just for the sake of trying to keep her young... Avoid the bullies and calling out and just let her shave. I've always shaved as it's instant and I don't need to worry about the regrowth of shaving. I really don't see hair removal as a big deal and if it lessens anxiety then I'd go with that for sure

@Nutrigrainygoodness thanks I might try hair removal cream and see where it takes us.

She’s at that point where hair is embarrassing and lots of new people/girls in her school that she doesn’t quite feel 100% comfortable around so hopefully in time she’s better settled and doesn’t care so much!

@dementedpixie thank you. Will check them out.

Definitely use an epilator if she can deal with the pain for the first few times. I really regret using a razor to my legs in school. The hair eventually stops growing with epilator and it's a much cheaper solution!

@ElectraBlue didn’t even think of an epilator! Great thanks so much.

OP- your DD has already approached you with her concerns!!! Why make her ask again? Slightly younger, I recall being so embarrassed about asking for deodorant. Mum and I are close, by I guess at that age, I just felt so self conscious and tried to drop hints so many times.

At 12, I started shaving underarms and legs. Otherwise, depilatory cream might be an option to start out with- but it stinks.

@UnicornMadeOfPinkGlitter

Thank you will check out those brands. We have been blessed with thick dark hair and do remember feeling a bit embarrassed at the start of secondary school, especially when a boy shouted out that I had a moustache in front of the whole class 😂

@elelel bad experience at a similar age that put me off razors for quite some time so my own fault

Get her a simple ladyshave. Safest and easiest.
Its really not a big deal. Tell her she can use it if she likes but tell her that its up to her and its perfectly normal to have hair and shes not obliged to remove it, but its her body and up to her

@ZippyZap

Thank you that’s a good idea about doing it on a Friday and seeing how she reacts because she does have sensitive skin which is why I’m maybe a bit hesitant with the creams out there too. Really trying to get her to ignore the others and do what she wants to do but difficult at that age when you’re trying to fit in - I remember it so well! Definitely a bit of my own anxiety from a bad experience coming out here so should have a word with myself and scope the market on best razors.

@helloyoutoo8

Thank you i hadn’t even thought about epilation until another MN just commented. The pain part is my only worry, she’s a bit of a panicker but is slowly getting better.

@Hairyfriend

That’s very true, thank you. She’s just made a few comments about her friends shaving and I asked her what she wanted to do and got a shrug and a ‘dunno’ so didn’t want to push to hard but yes you’re right, she’s clearly considering it if she’s brought it up!

Thank you for the advice.

Oh and dd uses cheap conditioner as a shaving cream. We buy the 99p one you get in most supermarkets.
She finds it’s nicer on her skin than the shaving foams or gels. I use it now as well and it’s much better on my sensitive skin than actual shaving soaps.

@Branleuse

Thank you so much I’ll check it out.

Oh for sure! We always talk about the autonomy over her own body and so I made it very clear that it’s completely up to her and she doesn’t have to do what everyone else does and to do what makes her happy but it’s just this age, I remember it so well.

Sensitive skin & thick dark hair weren’t a good combination in my case OP. On the (several) occasions I tried removal cream, it failed to completely remove the hair, but it did a lovely job of burning holes in the top couple of layers of my skin. Basically it gave me chemical burns. Every time, it took so long to heal that by the time it was better I was fully hairy again. These days I shave with an electric or wet razor, or just don’t bother. Or tweezers for the face…

I would let her use the razor. Epilators and waxing are bloody painful. A wee nick with a razor is nothing in comparison, and unlikely if you do it properly.

Not specific advice but just to say one day when I was 13, my mum let me go to school wearing pedal pushers (remember them!) With VERY hairy legs, and reassured me it looked fine. Needless to say I was torn to shreds for weeks afterwards - I'm now 30 and still guilt trip my mum about it!

What I'm saying is, from my perspective, I would definitely advise you to let her shave/whatever hair removal for her legs. I use Venus 3 blade and have never had a significant cut x