Teenager and hair removal

[extrovertedintrovertmum]

My daughter is 12 and so in Year 7 at secondary school and she’s started to comment on her body hair; legs, upper lip, eyebrows, underarms

She’s mentioned that a few girls in her year have already started shaving or waxing and is getting a bit anxious about PE and absolutely has to wear tights instead of socks to school.

I’ve told her to come to me when she’s completely ready and to not start secretly attempting to go ham with a razor on her legs. I’ve actually tried to sway her completely from shaving! I like to think we have a very close relationship and so fingers crossed she will come to me when she’s ready.

The lady that does my waxing has a daughter the exact same age and has already started waxing her DD but mine is freaking at the idea of waxing, she’s a worrier and so is expecting it to hurt real bad and I don’t want to force her so that’s off the cards for now.

Any advice on what other mums have done? We could go down the route of hair removal for her legs but I’ve actually never done this myself. Would this be the best option? If so any particular brands that are best?

Sorry seems like such a silly Q to ask but my friends don’t have children the same age (all a lot younger) and my DP can’t quite get his head around why our daughter feels the need to shave ... 😂

My daughter started shaving her armpits when she was 11, she mentioned that she didn’t like the hair there so we went and got her her own razor and nice smelling shaving cream.

Like your daughter, shes a worrier so I had to do the first armpit for her and then she did the other and since then she’s shaved them on her own.

I have got her some removal cream for her legs as she’s worried about shaving them but hasn’t used it yet so we’ll see how it goes.

She refuses to try waxing or epilating as she can’t stand any pain so if the removal cream doesn’t work she’ll prob just shave her legs too.

My DD is blessed with very thick dark hair on her legs and underarms. As soon as she showed concern I got her a Ladyshave. I remember being acutely embarrassed by my hairy legs when I went to secondary school and don't want her to feel the same.

I started shaving legs and armpits and plucking eyebrows when I was younger than her and have continued to do so with no ill effects. Buy her some nice safety razors and she can shave when lathered up in bath or shower.

Really don’t bother with the creams, they are made of nasty nasty stuff and then 2 days later you need it do it again. And waxing hurts and again you have to grow long stubble first…

Just get her a razor. There are loads of kinds. My dad got me one that had a safety guard thing so I couldn’t cut myself - I was soooo relieved because ppl at school were starting to mock my (very dark and thick) body hair and my mum wanted me to be some kind of 1970s super-feminist who never used a razor…

@UnicornMadeOfPinkGlitter oh really? DD has sensitive skin, a bath bomb gave her a little red rash once.. so will take that advice. Thank you x

@AnotherMansCause oh god sounds awful bless you. She does have sensitive skin so I’m hesitant. I suppose a patch test with it probably would do nothing... Electric razor! That could be a game changer thank you. I attempted once to pluck a hair on her brow (we were having a laugh and experimenting) and she karate chopped the tweezers out of my hand!

@Thatsplentyjack that’s true thank you. I try and tell myself that I’m more ‘hardened’ to my waxing now but in reality it still sucks!

I know people saying 'get her this' and 'get her that' are trying to help but she needs to choose how she wants to deal with her hair. Can you talk to her and discuss the options but ultimately let her do what she feels most comfortable doing.

Just let her shave. She's at an age where she'll want to always be freshly shaved, so waxing won't work as it needs to regrow. Also, it's painful! Let her investigate that when she's older. Ditto epilating, which is quite frankly torture.

If she has sensitive skin hair removal creams will likely burn her, they're not pleasant and I don't think last much longer than shaving anyway.

Depending on your skin tone you could look into the Philips Lumea, it works best on pale skin and dark hair.

@Namechangegardens

Oh yes I remember the pedal pushers 😂 See that’s the thing, I’m so for the attitude of ‘ah don’t care about what the others think’ but that’s easier for me now as a grown woman who couldn’t give a toss... much more difficult when you’ve just started secondary school Hate the idea of her being embarrassed but also want her to own it if that’s what she wants to do. Such a fine line! Thank you for your advice x

@Dottyteapot

thank you that’s brilliant advice. I might take that idea and do the first pit/leg myself and see if she wants to do the next with close observation. Gradually build her confidence (and mine) Could take a trip to the supermarket together and let her scope out her own razor.

@JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn thank you. Yes I feel the same. I don’t remember even thinking about my hair until some horrible kid pointed it out and embarrassed me.

@blyn

Thank you. I’m going to scope the market for razors and see what’s available. Lots of recommendations on here for me to look up!

@Thirtytimesround thank you for your advice. The part about 70s super feminist made me lol, sometimes I think that’s how I’m coming across 😂

We are team dark and thick hair too.

@NerrSnerr thank you. Absolutely! It will always be completely down to what she wants to do, whatever she feels most comfortable with and I’ll back her completely. She’s made a few comments but not outrightly said ‘right mum it’s time for me to shave..’ and I don’t want to push but I know it’s on her mind and that gets my mind whizzing too!

@TulipsGarden thank you. Yeh the more I’ve read the more I’m thinking anything painful will most likely be a no/no. A few of my friends epilate which has been a god send for them but I suppose that’s because they‘re grown women, want to be as hair free as poss without the aggro of shaving frequently.

I’m dark haired and olivey skin toned and she’s dark haired with fairer skin. I’ve never heard of that so will definitely look it up. Thanks again!

I got ours a razor which she used for a while. Now she leaves it all be, wish I'd been like that at her age (now 16). Nothing wrong with a bit of hair.

Battery operated razor is your best option at a young age, it's safer than wet shaving and lower costs. Bought mine them from Argos I think when they started secondary