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Original poster

Toddler and dogs not getting on.

72 replies

MissMollieO · 12/01/2022 18:35

My son is 14 months old and I have 2 small chihuahuas.

They have never been a fan of my son as he runs about and is too boisterous for them I think.

We have tried keeping them separate in their own space and teaching my son to be more gentle by doing supervised play and petting. However being 14 months he sometimes Isn't always as gentle as he needs time be even with us helping.

He tries to initiate play with them by throwing toys for them and laughs and runs around however one of my dogs in particular is becoming very snappy. Sometimes he will accidentally trip over or fall near her and she growls and snarls.

She follows him around however or jumps up next to him but when he moves near her she snaps. We obviously give her into trouble but I also know she is just being defensive.

How do you create a positive relationship between toddler and dogs?!

We are trying to teach the dogs that he comes above them in the pecking order.

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MintyGreenDream · 12/01/2022 19:16

He now treats them properly and it hasn't happened since

Tiredbadger · 12/01/2022 19:23

What about meeting a dog behaviourist for advice? We've not had an issue like this but I've used one in the past and it was invaluable.

JayAlfredPrufrock · 12/01/2022 19:25

@MintyGreenDream

Are you serious?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

1 year olds Behaviour & development Dogs Families
Just10moreminutesplease · 12/01/2022 19:38

My little one is younger than yours but is crawling and cruising like a wild thing. He spends a lot of time with the dog, but they are never on the floor together without me or DH present (literally on the floor between them supervising any interaction). I think that’s the only way to prevent your child or dog being hurt (toddlers aren’t always the most gentle!).

Apart from that we model gentle hands and taught our dog ‘away’ as a command for when he tries to entice DS to play Grin.

Snuffle mats, kongs, food puzzle dispensers etc. are all your friends for when you need to keep your toddler and dog separated.

I second speaking to a behaviourist too. Ours suggested I take the dog for a daily walk 1:1 so he could decompress and he seems to appreciate it.

Please ignore the advice to just get rid of your pets or allow your son to be bitten as part of a ‘learning curve’ Hmm. With work you can keep both your toddler and dogs safe and happy.

User48751490 · 12/01/2022 19:45

We got a puppy when youngest was 3. Puppy was segregated from 3yo and only allowed in room together under supervision. We have a large breed dog, a docile breed. Dog is now past puppy stage and it's been stressful at times as my 4yo still has tantrums. Our dog is used to the noise, but we make sure she can get away somewhere on her own to get peace.

It's not easy with small children in the mix.

Mattieandmummy · 12/01/2022 19:49

Ok so we had two dogs when we had our first, one has since died of old age and our first child is now 3. I never ever ever left our dogs alone with any child and hovered over every interaction. You really need to be on it, the toddler has no idea they are frightening your dogs and the dogs are responding and telling him / you as best they can that they are not happy with the situation. The fact that they are actually snapping is a very bad sign, a dog has to be pushed close to it's limits to do this. I don't want to sound overly dramatic but I really think you should re-home your snappy dog before your son gets bitten. It's not fair on the dog or your child and a small dog can still do a lot of damage.

Original poster
MissMollieO · 12/01/2022 19:54

@Just10moreminutesplease thanks for the really helpful advice!

I'll definitely try some of the things. We luckily have a lot of the toys for the dogs already. I want them to have a good relationship and I know they will when he is a bit older, it's just getting there.

OP posts:
Santaisstilleatingmincepies · 12/01/2022 19:55

We have 4 ddogs. Oldest and biggest has sadly gone now but ds was never alone until way past 3 due to her size tbh. With lots of hard work and plenty plenty of supervision and 'training' of both dc and ddogs - ds 7 declares them his besties. Mesh baby gate and interaction with an adult or it won't get any better.

GettingItOutThere · 12/01/2022 20:53

install babygates everywhere and do not put them together,

i had the most wonderfully behaved dogs, great with kids - they were still separate from them as youngsters/toddlers because thats the right thing to do

everyone came together on walks, and got on great. The dogs always gave the child space, but the child not so much the dogs -i was protecting their reputation mostly as children especially 14 months do not understand "be nice". they will for 0.1 seconds then forget again - so on that base you are fighting a losing battle

so for your dog's sake, separate them, walk together sueprvised etc, but im sure at night when tots asleep your dogs will be back with you

SmallPrawnEnergy · 12/01/2022 21:02

@MintyGreenDream

I don't think she needs to rehome they are family pets ffs Chihuahua bites can sting yes but they wouldn't do damage. My ds has been nipped several times from winding the dog up and its a learning curve
www.google.co.uk/amp/s/amp.tmz.com/2021/06/11/chihuahua-bites-woman-eyelid-off-after-lashes-done/

If you think chihuahua bites would “just sting” you seriously need to educate yourself and stop giving advice on a subject you clearly know fuck all about.

Beamur · 12/01/2022 21:09

We had a dog before DD came along. Our lounge is somewhere easy to segregate. Until DD was old enough to behave appropriately, dog never came in the lounge. They were never alone and DD rarely showed much interest in the dog.

stripetop · 12/01/2022 21:10

Agree with @Just10moreminutesplease

Are they both bitches. Are they speyed?

I have far to many dogs, farmers wife. 14 outside, five in house, lab, spaniel and I KC breed a line of terriers.

Mine are good with toddler and baby, but the thing is I would never be complacent. I still adhere to separate areas, mixed times and that's with happy dogs. You don't get a second chance here, your dog is telling you it's unhappy and it's wonderful you recognise that. Keep them apart, but never forget this time because a 5,6,7,8 so on year old can still irritate a dog.

Mischance · 12/01/2022 21:15

Rehome. Now.

LunaNova · 12/01/2022 21:22

I have two dogs and a 22month old DD. At 14 months DD was unruly, only now is she starting to understand how to act around the dogs.

I know it seems weird to shut your dogs away, before DD came along, our dogs were allowed everywhere in the house. Now they aren't allowed in the lounge/upstairs when DD is awake, not only do I not have to worry about either of their behaviour towards each other, I also don't have to worry about one of the dogs picking up something they shouldn't. It's so much less stressful. As soon as DD goes to bed, dogs are allowed in the lounge again, they are still just as well behaved as they were pre-DD. We separate with a baby gate, I still go in periodically and give fusses, pats and chat with them. DD will often take her toys up to baby gate and 'show' the dogs her toys, the benefit is they don't have to have these shoved in their face as there's a gate in between them.

Honestly, I get the feeling that your dogs are like family, but too many people make the mistake of treating dogs like people. They will not hold a grudge against you for doing what is in their best interest, and the best thing for them right now is their own space away from your toddler.

Good luck!

MintyGreenDream · 12/01/2022 21:23

@SmallPrawnEnergy I have 2 so I probably know more than you tbf

MintyGreenDream · 12/01/2022 21:25

Oh and I wasn't referring to full on attacks in my previous post I was meaning warning nips that small dogs can do without causing harm so wind your neck in

Just10moreminutesplease · 12/01/2022 21:30

[quote MintyGreenDream]@SmallPrawnEnergy I have 2 so I probably know more than you tbf [/quote]
Having two dogs doesn’t make you an expert. Advising people to knowingly allow their dogs to nip their children is too stupid for words.

You have been incredibly unfair on both your dogs and on your child.

Original poster
MissMollieO · 12/01/2022 21:33

@stripetop yep two females and both spayed.

OP posts:
Original poster
MissMollieO · 12/01/2022 21:35

@LunaNova yes we have gated off the kitchen and I was putting the dogs in there when my little boy was crawling around as he was constantly annoying them. Thankfully he's got much better but maybe some more time away until he is older and more able
To understand is needed :)

OP posts:
MintyGreenDream · 12/01/2022 21:37

I'm not saying I "allow" it I'm saying it happened and my child learnt to be better with the dogs that all.

SunshineOnKeith · 12/01/2022 22:19

[quote MintyGreenDream]@SmallPrawnEnergy I have 2 so I probably know more than you tbf [/quote]
Are you also an expert gynaecologist, dentist, optician?
I suppose using your logic we all are!

User48751490 · 13/01/2022 07:19

You can get time with your dogs whilst your DS naps and sleeps at night - segregation isn't for the whole day!

It works well. We have gates all over the house.

SolasAnla · 13/01/2022 12:43

@Veterinari
The dogs are house dogs not a group of orphan wolf pups with no social interaction with their family wolf pack.

The OP thinks that she can train the dogs to accept a toddler who throws thing at the dogs, who shout, screams and runs around should come "first" in the household. It's not going to happen because the dogs don't like the behaviour.

The OP keeps making excuses as to why she is not taking responsibly for keeping the child away from the dogs. The child is the problem as it's too young to realise the behaviour is "wrong". I suspect that the child is not allowed to throw stuff at the OP and is told to calm down and redirected when the behaviour gets on OP's nerves, the dogs don't have that option.

As the child grows it will begin to understand that growling and snapping are the dogs saying "back away now". But until that happens the dogs need a protected space. They are small dogs so if the child gets bitten it's not likely to be life threatening but the OP could invest in child gates and mitigate the risk before it gets to that stage.

Newfluff · 13/01/2022 12:46

She follows him around however or jumps up next to him but when he moves near her she snaps. We obviously give her into trouble but I also know she is just being defensive.

What does give her into trouble mean?

Branleuse · 13/01/2022 12:51

Both your dogs and your young child are in danger here. You either keep them seperated or you rehome the dogs. You cant expect your toddler to not be inteterested in those tiny dogs. He could hurt them and it would be your fault, not his. Plus the dogs could easily bite him, and that is serious even with small dogs.