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Original poster

Toddler making newborn ill- help!

35 replies

Kanfuzed123 · 12/01/2022 17:24

I’ve got a 2 year old and a 6 week old.

First weeks of life baby caught my cold and then bronchilitis and had to be taken to hospital (c mas eve no less)

Finally getting over it over the c mas period, toddler over colds too, first week back at nursery and bam she’s got another effing cold and now baby does again too, he’s congested, snotty and stools have become thick with mucus. I’m really worried he’s going to get incredibly unwell if this carries on. He’s tiny body can only take so much.

What can I do?

She already washes her hands before touching him and sanitises them regularly and blows her nose into a wet wipe. We don’t let her kiss his face just the back of his head. But she desperately loves him and always wants to hold his hand or hug him. Is there anything I can do?

Should I just stop her from being around him? It would be incredibly difficult and I can’t see it working in practice. I’m breastfeeding and she just likes to sit on the sofa next to him feeding and stroke his head (after a hand sanitize) to stop her would seem punitive but I am genuinely worried about another hospitalisation.

Anyone got any words of wisdom?
Xx

OP posts:
Cici22 · 12/01/2022 17:26

Toddlers are at that age where they catch everything, unfortunately that's just how it is. You're doing the best you can ❤️🥺

Original poster
Kanfuzed123 · 12/01/2022 17:58

It’s awful isn’t it.., just wondered If I can do anything to stop it being passed to my newborn? X

OP posts:
Cici22 · 12/01/2022 18:07

honestly couldn't say but ride it out. It's sounds like you are doing everything you can. Hopefully down the line it'll help benefit the baby with stronger antibodies for the future x

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Showpan · 12/01/2022 18:11

If you're so worried, stop her going to nursery for a while? I had two the same age and no childcare, it was manageable. And baby never got ill.

Footnote · 12/01/2022 18:13

This is the lot of the second child, unfortunately. Just let her hug him. Mine was exactly the same with bronchiolitis, then bronchitis or pneumonia each month. He’s been off school a lot less than his sister, though.

Darhon · 12/01/2022 18:19

She sounds adorable. Once there is more than one, there's not much you can do. I had 2 years between 2 and 3 and she was like this with him. He had cold after cold and bronchialitis in the first 6 months. I was just relieved I was breastfeeding him, and she wasn't at nursery, though my older one was at school. She would cough over him.

negomi90 · 12/01/2022 18:40

You can't do anymore and stopping nursery will hurt you and her more than anything you gain. She needs time away from the baby doing big kid things. You need time with your new born.
The light at the end of the tunnel is that when your newborn starts nursery they won't be as sicky as your older one was because they'll start nursery with more immunity.

wavecatcher · 12/01/2022 18:50

Have a break from nursery? Go
Back at Easter in warmer weather less germs are around and they play outside more.

Original poster
Kanfuzed123 · 12/01/2022 18:54

I’d did think about pulling her out but truthfully we saw no let up in the stream of illnesses last spring, the only plus would be baby would be bigger so slightly more robust.

We would have lost our money for this month which is close to £1k Sad but she really enjoys it and it’s fantastic for her development and the break from looking after 2 is good for me too. Plus I figure she’d end up catching bugs from soft plays or stay and plays too. She’s too rambunctious to keep at home all day, she needs interaction with children her age i feel, but I’m so tempted to take her out, the illnesses have an impact on her too x

OP posts:
User0ne · 12/01/2022 19:05

3 under 5 here so I feel your pain. Could you swap DD to a childminder? Less other kids normally=fewer bugs. Better for dd and baby.

Original poster
Kanfuzed123 · 12/01/2022 19:08

And she just fell on him too ffs. Cried for a minute, another a and e or nah?

OP posts:
Bellsandsnow · 12/01/2022 19:09

There isn't much you can do- sounds like you're doing everything you can. It must be so hard for your little girl. I don't think it is fair to say that your toddler is making your baby ill. It isn't your toddler's fault. She can't help catching stuff.

Twizbe · 12/01/2022 19:12

Totally normal for a second child. It helps them build a very strong immune system. My youngest is hardly ever ill. She was born with a cold as I had one when I gave birth.

Only thing I would suggest is getting your eldest the chicken pox vaccine if you've not done it already.

Original poster
Kanfuzed123 · 12/01/2022 19:27

What would you do about a toddler flopping on him? They were getting their nappies changed sides by side and she flopped sideways onto him and he cried for a minute and then calmed down. Seems ok now but I don’t want to drop the ball x

OP posts:
Lotsofpots · 12/01/2022 19:34

Personally I'd do nothing - if the baby just cried for a minute and is now fine I wouldn't be worried. But then I mistook pneumonia for teething in my 6mo so maybe don't take my advice...

Seriously though, second kids get colds etc much earlier than their older siblings and while horrid for them, I suspect it would be more damaging to try and keep your older child away from their new baby sibling.

evamumm · 12/01/2022 19:38

This happened with my youngest he was unwell so much as a baby, he just caught everything from the older ones going to school. He even had chicken pox before he was one, I was terrified. But he's started nursery himself now and he's tough as nails, hasn't caught a single cold so far.
It's horrible to see them so ill so tiny but their immunity builds and they get stronger, it's just an unfortunate part of being the youngest.

MissMaple82 · 12/01/2022 19:40

No you shouldn't just stop them being around each other, I can't believe a mother would even consider this. Baby will be fine, stop with the paranoia

Original poster
Kanfuzed123 · 12/01/2022 19:44

@MissMaple82

No you shouldn't just stop them being around each other, I can't believe a mother would even consider this. Baby will be fine, stop with the paranoia
I’m not actually considering it as there’s no way it could actually work.

It’s not paranoia if he’s already been taken to hospital In an ambulance at 3 weeks old.

OP posts:
WeCalledTheDogIndiana · 12/01/2022 20:18

Oh god I feel you, I am a tiny bit further down the track than you and hopefully this is reassuring...

I am in a similar position - 5 month old was in intensive care for bronchillitis at 7 weeks, after a fairly long NICU stay at birth due to immature lungs, so he saw more of hospitals in the first couple of months than of home. He has ever since been constantly catching things from his nursery and primary school aged older siblings, and I discussed exactly this with his consultant at a check up before Christmas. The consultant said with two older siblings he can't avoid viruses, that we should be more watchful about things potentially deteriorating quickly because his lungs have already taken a bit of a battering and need time to properly recover, and he might struggle to shake off viruses this first winter as quickly as other babies BUT that we shouldn't worry too much as that's very treatable if needed, and even with two instances of intubation before 8 weeks he wouldn't expect him to have any problems either next winter virus season or long term.

Is that reassuring? I hope a bit. The thing that struck me in your post was that you're worried he can't take any more illness - the message from our consultant was definitely that babies, even the little and ill ones, are built to get ill and bounce back quickly.

And yeah, I've been trying for weeks and agree there's no way of stopping the sibling germ transfer 😭 We have reinforced not coughing/sneezing in faces, but I'm wary of making them self conscious about being ill or too worried about germs. I think we just have to ride it out - but I do feel you, you're not alone in wishing for a protective bubble to put them in!

Original poster
Kanfuzed123 · 12/01/2022 21:47

@WeCalledTheDogIndiana

Oh god I feel you, I am a tiny bit further down the track than you and hopefully this is reassuring...

I am in a similar position - 5 month old was in intensive care for bronchillitis at 7 weeks, after a fairly long NICU stay at birth due to immature lungs, so he saw more of hospitals in the first couple of months than of home. He has ever since been constantly catching things from his nursery and primary school aged older siblings, and I discussed exactly this with his consultant at a check up before Christmas. The consultant said with two older siblings he can't avoid viruses, that we should be more watchful about things potentially deteriorating quickly because his lungs have already taken a bit of a battering and need time to properly recover, and he might struggle to shake off viruses this first winter as quickly as other babies BUT that we shouldn't worry too much as that's very treatable if needed, and even with two instances of intubation before 8 weeks he wouldn't expect him to have any problems either next winter virus season or long term.

Is that reassuring? I hope a bit. The thing that struck me in your post was that you're worried he can't take any more illness - the message from our consultant was definitely that babies, even the little and ill ones, are built to get ill and bounce back quickly.

And yeah, I've been trying for weeks and agree there's no way of stopping the sibling germ transfer 😭 We have reinforced not coughing/sneezing in faces, but I'm wary of making them self conscious about being ill or too worried about germs. I think we just have to ride it out - but I do feel you, you're not alone in wishing for a protective bubble to put them in!

Ah that makes me feel so much better! I was just worried it would be too much for such a little body in such a short period of time and his big sister loves him so much she just wants to be around him all the time. What I wouldn’t give for 2 germ proof balls to put them in! X
OP posts:
IHaveToSay · 12/01/2022 21:56

Oh I remember this… when my third was born I had one in primary school and one in nursery and he was a winter baby so the amount of bugs he caught was ridiculous. Then when he was 8 weeks old one of my older children caught the coldsore virus… she had a horrific initial outbreak that ended up with her hospitalised so I was simultaneously petrified for her and petrified she’d pass it to the baby. I was a wreck.
But it ends, I promise. Babies tend to catch lots of colds in the first couple of years and it is good for their immune system in the long run.

ldontWanna · 12/01/2022 22:01
  • I’m not actually considering it as there’s no way it could actually work.

It’s not paranoia if he’s already been taken to hospital In an ambulance at 3 weeks old.*

Wasn't that from your cold? I bet you didn't consider not going near the baby did you? Or stopping your socialising/things to do outside the home. Do you follow the same sanitising regime as your daughter every tome you touch him?

There are germs and bugs everywhere. They will get it and they can take it. Breastfeeding helps. Hopefully this means he'll be a lot more robust when it's his turn to start nursery.

I was a very sickly baby and toddler including hospital, I grew out of it eventually and besides 2/3 colds a year I don't catch anything now. I haven't had a tummy bug in more than 12 years.

I was indoors most of DD's first year of life and barely went everywhere and she still had 5/6 colds in her first 7 months. Then a cough that wouldn't go away for 3 months.

What I'm trying to say is, by all means keep an eye out, try to be careful when needed but don't overthink or overdo it. Definitely not to the point where you could possibly damage their relationship (possibly even yours with your daughter as you're the gatekeeper to her brother) or become punitive towards DD(limited contact with the baby, increased levels of handwashing,sanitising etc , pulling her out of nursery and so on).

I get that you're worried and it's very difficult to find that balance, but you need to find a way to do it. You're so worried about these first few months, you're losing sight of the rest of their lives/relationship.

Mossstitch · 12/01/2022 22:58

Don't worry, he'll develop a good strong immune system from it all. My first, exclusively breastfed, managed to pick up norovirus at 8 weeks with no siblings, then gave it to me🤢 funnily enough my third with two older brother in school/nursery was the healthiest!

Noomorepepperpig · 13/01/2022 01:09

I have a 3 year old and a 8 month old. She's had soo many bugs, d+v at 5 months then covid 2 weeks later and god knows how many colds, two which have lead to a chest infection. It's awful to see and hard to manage especially if you catch it as well.

I've never known dd1 to be soo ill and she's been going to nursery for years. There are threads on here on how many bugs their kids are coming down with, that it seems excessive to normal. Really feels like one after another, after another.

Footnote · 13/01/2022 08:28

My paediatrician gave me a good rule of thumb — crying for less than 10 minutes doesn’t need a&e.