Is it realistic to keep a 1 YO at home while working...

[Hotyogahotchoc]

for half a day per week while two parents are both WFH?

DH and I would both be WFH. DH full day but is flexible. I would do half day. Thinking of keeping baby home that day and in nursery 4 full days.

We both have the option of making up hours earlier in the day or in the evening.

I expect I know the answer!

This is the key bit for me:

I wouldn't save anything in childcare as I would be working 9/10 hours so would lose 10% of pay and it would possibly end up with it being stressful for us and not much for for DS.

The benefit is doubtful. I would stick to booking full time nursery so you have the flexibility. Then if both you and husband have busy days you can use it, and if it's a lovely sunny day and you can do so, you can hammer the work in the morning, get baby early and go for an afternoon in the park and finish off work in the evening. I wouldn't paint yourself into a corner and lose pay in the way you've said. Another half day in nursery is really not going to make a huge difference.

Depends on lots of factors.

The nature of your job, how relaxed your working hours are, the temperament and personality of your child, how regular their sleep pattern is.

We've worked a day around my son since he was born but he is very chilled out and sleeps regularly.

Have you looked at the price of 4 days vs 5 in nursery. Admittedly it was a long time ago so prices were cheaper, but a FT place was about 750 a month, vs 4 days at around 700. ie the 5th day was really heavily discounted.

I think with just one day per week it's very doable.

I have a 12 months old who is at home, and DH and I both WFH full time. We've been doing it since DS was 7 months old, and we are hoping to keep him at home till pre-school age.
It's tough, but it's been working for us so far, mostly because my DH is very chilled and can tolerate baby's screams well
So I'm mostly working in my home office, and my DH is minding the baby while working at the same time. We both have flexible hours at our jobs.

The problem with this is that it might be doable some weeks, but then DS will randomly decide not to nap or will be ill etc.

Fitting work in on early mornings and late evenings will make you sick if you do it too often, you can't be on it the whole day (lockdown taught me this!)

Only do it if your DH splits the time equally with you.

Whatever you do, don’t agree to watch your child all day then work all night while your husband sits and watched Tv and complains that you never spend any time together and you are too tried for sex.

Don’t work all day and watch your child instead of having a break at lunchtime and dinner, while your Dh gets time off for these.

Don’t split the day so that you are either doing paid work or housework / watching your child. While he is either doing paid work or relaxing.

If you have to housework AND watch your child, make sure he doenst get to choose either /or.

Many people assume that “ time off “ for a mum is at home , watching her child, doing housework and entertaining relatives. While “ time off” for fathers is child free time out of the house to do what he likes.

When ds was in nursery, it really wasn't much cheaper to book 5 days than 4 and though I could finish work at 12 on a Friday it meant I had some lee way to go to the dentist/optician/hairdresser/doctor and then still pick him up early. It made all the difference to my sanity

@MaizeAmaze

Have you looked at the price of 4 days vs 5 in nursery. Admittedly it was a long time ago so prices were cheaper, but a FT place was about 750 a month, vs 4 days at around 700. ie the 5th day was really heavily discounted.

5 days is £1600 around me 🥴

4 days is 930
5 days is 1130

4.5 days I think would be 1050

But the plan is either 4 days in nursery or 5

If I work 5 days I will put him in nursery 5 dahd

Posted too soon!

I don't plant to work 4 days

If I work 4.5 that's when I thought I might put baby in nursery four days

The idea being he is home with us an extra day, I get half a day off and we don't pay for that day childcare

But i think it will be more hassle than anything

I have no real idea at this stage what he will be like at 1 but now he needs almost constant attention so...

Thank you for the advice

DD1 was 16 months when lockdown 1 hit. First few weeks were ok as DP couldn’t work at all. After that, I was forced to try and record video lessons/teach via Zoom and look after an active toddler. As a teacher I already work every weeknight evening to plan/resource/assess etc, so there was no way for me to shift my working hours. I’m ashamed to say that during this time DD1 fell down the decking steps when I was on a Zoom session and filled the toilet bowl with balls of socks while I was distracted marking work online. There were numerous other close calls with climbing etc.

It’s stressful but, depending on the nature of your job, it can also be dangerous. I’d really advise against it.

It depends...

We managed to wfh with our son during COVID/shielding times a few days a week.

My job was very quiet at this time so I wasn't very busy at all.

He was still having a short morning nap and a long afternoon nap.

I done my easy/didn't have to think too much bits when he was awake and the more complicated bits when he was asleep.

They do tend to want to climb over you and your laptop which is understandable but annoying. We set him up in his high chair with paper and pens so he could scribble which he liked.

I was leaning towards just putting him in nursery 5 days a week and working 5 days. Discussed with DH yesterday and he thinks we should both work 5 days and put baby in nursery 4 days. I said we should only do this if he can look after the baby because I know I won't be able to while working a full day (unless he becomes a model 1 YO who sits quietly while I work or sleeps)....

I thought working half a day may be do-able but I have no interest in working late etc when we could just put baby in nursery...

Work less time if possible I would, you won't get the time with him back.
4 hours spread over the day if DH can also be flexible is very do-able and as you say, nicer for DS than being in nursery FT.

I am feeling a bit indecisive.

I am trying to get DH to realise if he is pushing for this then he best be planning to do the majority of the childcare. His job probably allows for it more than mine does.

I also considered the fact I could work to get as much done on the four other days so I have less to do on the day baby is at home with us.

I do 90% of my hours OP but my arrangement with work is that I fit in the extra hours at a time which suits me. Sometimes in the evening and sometimes on Fridays if I have a meeting to attend (toddler watching TV) or something to do over the nap time. Just depends how my week has gone. I could even make up on the weekends instead and no-one at work would mind. Depends on how flexible work can be. I definitely value the extra money at 90% and the flexibility makes me feel valued. My boss is very senior though and he knows I work damn hard and way more than my 90% when needed/if there is an emergency. So when he agreed it HR fell in line.

The juggling and the stress with this! I mean if he just sleeps all the time OK. But the arguments when he's crying about you have him, no I'm on the phone you have him. And the break in concentration and distraction. I couldn't do it with my job. But, I guess it depends what your job is and how accommodating your employers are.

I’d find it incredibly stressful and would opt for the additional day in nursery.

Seriously, just book the 5 days in nursery. You aren't compelled to use them all. If one of you has had a lighter week, you could keep him home. Think of it as paying for the flexibility re that day, rather than paying for actual time spent there as if it's got to be served to be worthwhile. This will be far less stressful.

You can always drop down to 4 days later - but it'll be easier to do that than to increase to 5 days. Plus you'll have dropped hours and decreased pay by then. Start with 5 days, aim to get him early some Fridays or keep him off altogether, and see how that goes for a few months.

I do 90% of my hours OP but my arrangement with work is that I fit in the extra hours at a time which suits me.

What do you mean by "extra hours"?

90% hours is what I would be doing if I do 4.5 days but I am not following what you mean. Sorry if I am being slow!

I think she means 90% of her hours,are fixed and the remain 10% are flexible. She just termed the 10% as extra hours.

I am doing this at the moment as we are anxious about sending DC to nursery while the Covid-19 numbers are so high. I do a lot of work while DC naps and after DC has gone to bed. If you have flexibility in your work I expect it will be fine.

It might be possible if you can shift your schedules so that you aren’t working at the same time. Not necessarily one and then the other. It might work best if he does 4, you do 4, he does 4 or some other pattern that makes sense with your particular jobs and personalities.

Sorry OP - I meant I work 80% (4 full days) at normal time and DD is in nursery for these. I then do my extra 10% of hours at my discretion, early mornings, evenings, Friday nap etc. So that takes me to 90%.

I really don't see the advantage of keeping him home if you are just going to be trying to keep him out of your hair. Better to send him to daycare where he'll get lots of entertainment while you concentrate on work. I don't see how him being home bored with you being frustrated at him climbing all over your laptop is "nicer" for him than daycare.