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Original poster

Has anyone worked from home with a 1 year old?

82 replies

sunshinecitrus1 · 05/01/2022 08:49

Truthfully, how is it?

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MindyStClaire · 05/01/2022 09:36

What's your employer like? Could you take a half day of leave (annual or unpaid?) each week, and on that day trouble shoot emails on your phone, and then do some proper work during the nap and in the evening? Not a long term solution obviously but a supportive employer might allow it in the short term while you wait for a slot at nursery or whatever. Highly depends on the kind of work, obviously enough.

Peppaismyrolemodel · 05/01/2022 09:46

@chineybumps

People on MN always say, 'you're not allowed too, it says it in your contract,' 'it's not possible' etc. Firstly I've never had anything mentioned about not looking after your child during working hours in any contract for any job I've ever had😂

My DD is 8 months old and I was going to return to work this month. I'd be working full time whilst looking after her (decided to extend my maternity leave so not going back as planned) so can't give you my personal experience. However, my close friend has a 1 year old son and she currently works from home full time whilst looking after him. She's a Housing officer who works for the council so her role is quite a hectic one but she manages it somehow.

I think if it's just one day a week you'll be fine. It'd be a bit distracting but I'd definitely look after my DD if it was only one day a week

Here too- think it depends on work-type as well. I had v busy job, but could manage front-facing stuff in nap times and strategic stuff in wake times- always stuff to do after bed but took couple hours out in the park etc with ds in day. Had a v chilled baby though and pretty hands off manager
Ohpulltheotherone · 05/01/2022 09:47

No one has ever worked at home with a one year old.

No one.

It’s not possible.

HTH Grin

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Notwithittoday · 05/01/2022 09:50

It’s impossible. My hours for my job are evenings but when I was training it was all daytime. You need childcare

17caterpillars1mouse · 05/01/2022 09:50

My friend does and openly admits her child just fends for themselves lot. He's 2 now and delayed on speech and not great with others, plus as she puts it 'a little bit feral'.

Obviously he may have had delayed speech anyway and a lively spirit. But I'm guessing being at home whilst his mum works hasn't helped

MajesticallyAwkward · 05/01/2022 09:53

I've done it when dc has been off nursery through illness or nursery closure... it's not easy but annual leave isn't unlimited and with school holidays to cover needs must.

When he was little and still bf it was fine, a lot of teams calls with a sleeping/BFing baby just out of shot and when he was awake I just sat on the floor with him and some toys.

As he's gotten older it's almost impossible, at 2 he needs full attention. When we have to do it me and dh take 'shifts', so one has the toddler and the other works then we swap so dc gets one of us 100%- he still makes regular appearances on video calls though, everyone I work with knows him and will stop the meeting to say hi or fawn over whatever adorable toddler weirdness he's doing in the background. I imagine not all workplaces would be that accommodating and understanding though.

I wouldn't recommend trying to do it full time but as a one off or occasional thing it's doable.

onlychildhamster · 05/01/2022 09:58

I am following because I am wondering if DH and I truly need 2 study rooms if wfh becomes the norm. Right now the set ups is that I wfh in the study and he wfh in the reception room. Its fine but the only scenario I can see it not working well is if I wfh with a future baby and it is running around the reception room.

But if wfh with baby/young child is not possible then not having a separate wfh space isn't essential as child would be at daycare or childminder anyway...

I know a freelancer who raised all 4 kids at home while wfh but I suppose its different from a salaried job!

Pugroll · 05/01/2022 10:02

I actually think it's neglectful, sorry. Like lots of people during the shitshow that was lockdown muddled through, balancing working from home with looking after my toddler, and that was with flexibility and understanding from my employer that there wasn't much choice about it. One day a week would be manageable if you could get someone to come over and play with them etc whilst you work. For the poster saying they're going back full time without childcare, that's cruel, or you'll get fired for not doing enough work, your baby needs stimulation, fresh air, general caring such as meals, nappy changes etc- just popping them somewhere whilst you try to juggle work everyday is ludicrous.

Strawberry0909 · 05/01/2022 10:04

Only did it during first lockdown with an 18 month old, it was very hard, hours ended up being spread over the entire week/evenings, wouldn't recommend it

LillyLeaf · 05/01/2022 10:14

No way. We've had to do it when DS has been off ill from nursery. We tried tag teaming between me and DP but DS just wanted me. Also when a grandparent was helping once, he just wanted me. I couldn't focus I didn't get much done.

Woodlandwater · 05/01/2022 10:18

Impossible, we did it in the first lock down (and home schooling my 5yo). It was impossible..I'd have to put kids to bed and then work until 2am and even then I wasn't getting enough done. It was awful. I'd never voluntarily do it ever again. Now DH takes my 2yo one day a week (nursery for other days) and even on those days ds spends all the time shouting for me at the bottom of the stairs. Get proper childcare, it's worth it!

LizzieSiddal · 05/01/2022 10:20

I too think it would be impossible and probably very unsafe for the child!

Cornishmumofone · 05/01/2022 10:56

@sunshinecitrus1 Depending on the childcare that you gave booked, does it allow for you to compress your hours? DD was in nursery 8-6 so I worked 8-6 4 days a week (I needed to do 35 hours not 36, so I started and finished slightly late/early, but was immediately next door to the nursery).

PurBal · 05/01/2022 10:59

My friend does it with a 9mo and 10yo (home schooled due to SEN). She’s a super mum. But she is self employed so is really flexible with her time.

Soontobe60 · 05/01/2022 11:00

@sunshinecitrus1

Thanks for your replies! Yes, exactly how I thought you would all respond but I just needed to hear it. I have childcare sorted for everyday apart from one day a week so I am contemplating whether or not I could realistically do this.
Can you ask to work compressed hours so you dont have to work all day on that day?
PurBal · 05/01/2022 11:04

Oh and my mum did it with 3 under 3. But again, own business so could pop in and out of our playroom as needed and my Nan was around a lot.

itwasntaparty · 05/01/2022 11:08

Impossible and directly against terms of contract at my company.

caringcarer · 05/01/2022 11:10

Why can't child go to nursery or a child minder? You can't work when looking after a 1 year old.

Woodlandwater · 05/01/2022 11:12

You also run the risk of ruining other women's flexibility options in the log term. If your manager clocks that you do nothing on certain days because your toddler has run you ragged, or customers or colleagues complain about DC in the background, then the next person to ask for flexible work won't get the option.

MelonTits · 05/01/2022 11:13

Only in lockdown when I had no choice. It was hellish, I was a crap employee and a crap parent.

I could occasionally have a phone/teams call whilst he napped, aside from one memorable time when he was scaling the sofa in the background of a teams call and ended up falling backwards (he was fine…) and my boss made me sign off to focus my full attention on him.

I did the bulk of my work from 7pm-midnight for two months, it was tiring and difficult.

Abouttimemum · 05/01/2022 11:21

It’s not possible. Either you’re doing a shit job at work or a shit job at parenting.

I have lots of experience of this, mainly from the end of mat leave being during covid and not being able to get DS into nursery when planned, and then subsequently through various illness and isolations. It’s impossible to do both.

I managed by working during the lunchtime nap and then on an evening as soon as DH got home from work, but it was honestly mentally debilitating as I felt like I was doing nothing particularly well for a very long time and felt for my son and my colleagues, and barely saw DH as all we both did was work and parent.

Don’t do it voluntarily. Save it for emergencies!

Change123today · 05/01/2022 11:24

Our contact says we have to have childcare in place with a caveat of understanding illness etc

I remember trying to do a call with my nearly 2 year old child having a full melt down - she woke from her nap (I thought i was organised) bribery with chocolate buttons didn’t work or the TV on. Thankfully it was internal call with my managers so they took over while I left the call.

She was a usually chilled toddler - easy! But that day will always be in my mind - I felt a failure as a mother and an employee.

My managers where fine as they knew she was off nursery sick and I would work evenings etc to make up any hours but it doesn’t make the guilt any easier.

Abouttimemum · 05/01/2022 11:26

@Change123today I remember trying to change an explosive nappy while on an important external teams - totally forgot to turn the camera off when i balanced the phone on the fireplace. Dreadful!

peachgreen · 05/01/2022 11:30

Somebody at my work does it and she has a terrible reputation because of it - she's never online, she's always ducking out of meetings etc. I suspect it's only a matter of time before it's taken up more formally. I did it in tandem with DH during the first lockdown and it almost killed me!

Toottooot · 05/01/2022 12:09

@chineybumps

People on MN always say, 'you're not allowed too, it says it in your contract,' 'it's not possible' etc. Firstly I've never had anything mentioned about not looking after your child during working hours in any contract for any job I've ever had😂

My DD is 8 months old and I was going to return to work this month. I'd be working full time whilst looking after her (decided to extend my maternity leave so not going back as planned) so can't give you my personal experience. However, my close friend has a 1 year old son and she currently works from home full time whilst looking after him. She's a Housing officer who works for the council so her role is quite a hectic one but she manages it somehow.

I think if it's just one day a week you'll be fine. It'd be a bit distracting but I'd definitely look after my DD if it was only one day a week

Lots of people are being issued new contracts off the back of wfh. If we wish to continue to work from home once restrictions have been relifted we have to agree to the new terms and conditions which stipulate childcare provision should be in place. Otherwise it’s back to the office full time which I think is perfectly reasonable.