Things said to you while breastfeeding in public, good and bad!

[Tryingandhoping2020]

I've never had anyone say anything negative personally, but curious to see if anyone else has? I have fed in all sorts of places including a beachfront bench and the shoe section of Primark 😂

It wasn’t directed at me but I dealt with it. I was working on a hotel reception and a older man came to the desk to complain about a lady breastfeeding. The lady in question bless her heart had taken herself to the comfy seating under the stairs which in all honesty you had to really look to see who was sat there. I personally wouldn’t of cared less if she was feeding her baby in the middle of the restaurant/bar/terrace/reception lobby and my response to him wouldn’t of been any different . A Baby has to eat when a baby is hungry! It’s simple. He told me it was disgusting we ‘allowed’ people to do this in public and he would be checking out right now if I didn’t ask her to go ‘somewhere private like the toilets’. My response was that basically it was a shame he felt that way, I was not asking her to move for anybody and why should her baby have to have it’s dinner in a toilet and what room was I to check him out of then. He went crackers.. ended with the hotel manager stepping in (who was a man with 3 kids, a wife who had breastfeeed all of them and was very much for women’s rights and had heard the whole thing as he was actually say in the lobby) asking the man to leave the hotel completely and basically to not come back. The women thankfully in question didn’t ever know about any of these issues. She was unaware this man was such a A hole about her feeding her child.

Only ever one comment from a lovely waiter who smiled and commented on baby having a snack too.

Had a couple of negative comments which combined with pnd made me feel
Useless and probably had something to do with me giving up feeding ds and switching to formula at 6 weeks.

I have given up my seat in a cafe (nice comfy one) for a bar stool seat for a mum who had a baby. I made a quick assumption that if she was bf she’d be better sitting on comfy low down chair. (I was right). Then when she was feeding and I went for more coffee I asked if she needed anything.

I wish people had been supportive for me. So try and be kind.

Getting on a train with a month old first born to find it already packed with soldiers.. I was offered a seat which I was grateful for but baby started to fuss so I knew I'd have to feed soon. (3 hr journey). I was getting flustered and stressed.. Luckily the guard came along so I asked him if there was any areas on the train that was quieter? I whispered I need to feed baby.. He said sorry the whole train was packed.. But he took my bags and I followed him.. to the first class carriage.. He even bought me a cup of tea!

I fail to see why any of this is anyone's business but the mothers. Even the positive comments related sound patronising to me. Why would you say anything at all?

I've had a handful of comments but the one that stuck with me was I had 2 week old dd in wetherspoons I was 16 and getting flustered mum was trying to help and guide. This little old woman came up to me and said how wonderful it was and I was doing fine. I really needed it then. All my friends was funny about bf.

Still think about her often.

@squashyhat

I fail to see why any of this is anyone's business but the mothers. Even the positive comments related sound patronising to me. Why would you say anything at all?

If you read the full thread that, for several women, the kind comments have provided a well-needed boost. There's nothing wrong with being kind

Never a negative comment, and I fed everywhere!

Had a lot of (usually older) ladies telling me it was a lovely sight, and so nice to see. I had a good chat with some of them, it was great.

Also like some previous posters, I was often offered drinks in coffee shops etc which is really nice when you're exhausted from the marathon feeds!

No negative comments. A few elderly ladies have made nice comments while I've been feeding on benches etc, usually along the lines of "nice day for it!" One of the church congregation told me after our service that it was "nice to see someone feeding properly", which I didn't really know what to say to that.

A few resigned looks from MIL and my gran that I'm feeding my 18 month old but no one comments.

@Sunbeams09

I’ve breastfed both my children, and on two occasions, once with each child, an elderly person has said to me whilst I’ve been feeding outside “good for you for breastfeeding!” It made me feel great I’ve had lots of positive comments from the various doctors/health visitors with my first when I was still exclusively breastfeeding as time went on as well. I’ve never had any negative comments from family or other, and never been made to feel uncomfortable feeding in public either so I think I’ve been lucky!

This happened to me too. I was overwrought with a new baby and toddler in tow, both whingeing, and plonked myself down at a table in one of those middie-of-the-walkway cafes in a shopping centre. Saw an elderly lady looking over at me and thought here we go, I'm going to get a complaint for being too public. She eventually came over to me and whispered "good for you" in my ear. I could have cried. I was having stressful day and it was just what I needed.

Oh I did have the manager at a McDonald's insist on me going to sit straight down and she'd bring my drink over. I'd only stopped in for a drink so I could sit down and feed a crying DS.

One negative comment - that I was 'weird' for breastfeeding my ten month old son. The person was almost implying something sexual, because they made the point strongly about him being a boy. It still makes me rage, thinking about it. I breastfed my boy until he was two, and resent the inherent sexism that it's somehow strange or different to be close to a little boy.

I never really had comments either way - it was obviously quite unremarkable to most people around where I am! Best was in the John Lewis café, where the assistant ('partner', as they are in JL) was quite insistent that I could feed wherever I wanted to, and that she'd bring my drink and cake over, and was disappointed on my behalf that the comfy armchairs had all been taken

I fed anywhere and everywhere (church; cafés; work when I went it to show my DD off; people's houses; just wherever I happened to be with a hungry baby) and it seemed like no one either noticed or cared. It was excellent.

I was out with DM in a coffee shop. And always had a big cover/bib thing, because with DTwins, I'd have both boobs out at the same time, which could lead to all kinds of flashing as both my hands were full, so this bib was a big black apron that hung round my neck. It covered the babies in full except with the way I held DTwins each would have their little feet poking out either side. A lot of people would second take at the number of feet, and you'd see the penny drop a couple of seconds later as they realised, oh, twins.

A man walked past, stopped and looked, paused for a second and said "a four legged child!"

This absolutely killed DM and I

Never had anything negative "said" in public, but I have had odd looks once or twice, mostly from teenagers/young men. I've had some positive comments - I fed my eldest in church while I was sat with the choir (not while we were actually singing) and had several older ladies come and say how lovely it was that I felt so comfortable (actually the first time I felt like I had a spotlight on me I was so nervous, but I got used to it).

Feeding my twins in public I've had more comments, but mostly from other mums and along the lines of "crickey, how do you manage!" - when they were tiny I only fed them at the same time at home, but as they've got older (14months now) they have become more impatient and want to feed at the same time. There's not much space so we end up in all sorts of strange positions and they wriggle terribly! Nowhere near as discrete as feeding my DD was

I think family are more likely to think they have a right to comment. I've definitely had "are you STILL breastfeeding?" etc. Tough skin occasionally required past the year mark.

Bad:

Yuck face from SIL
Yuck face from random man in Starbucks

Good:

Women at church going out of their way to come and keep me company when I took ds to the back of the church for a feed

Woman being nice to me when I had to do a very public boob whip out in a very crowded cafe

Never had direct comments about it tbh....IIRC

Nothing bad! Had a few older mums give me a smile and say "I remember those days" but that was it.

I breasted everywhere and no one ever batted an eyelid.

I had some odd looks but more "embarrassed I'm not sure where to look" types.
Bless them. I can imagine men sometimes don't quite know what to do particularly if a bit of boobage is inadvertently exposed

I was breastfeeding 4 week old DD is a cafe and someone said to me 'Is that your baby or are you a childminder?'

Oh my God, there is a baby there!

I fed all my children to self weaning, so well over a decade in total and I can only recall one negative comment. I was called disgusting by a middle aged British couple whilst I was feeding DS, probably about 10 months old at the time, on a sunlounger on a Spanish beach. I laughed, as the irony was that they were both wearing nothing but tiny swimsuit bottoms.
Other than that I'd be aware of people staring or whispering from time to time but nobody else ever said anything directly. Once or twice I got a free dtink or something in a cafe but I would say 99% of the time people either didn't notice or didn't care, which is just as it should be really.
I think new Mums can be made unnecessarily anxious, as, naturally enough I guess, people tend to report and discuss negative experiences more than positive ones, and much more than neutral ones. "I breastfed my baby in a cafe and absolutely nothing happened" isn't really news after all, but it's reality for most of us, most of the time.

@buckeejit

Never had anything negative. Fil came really close when I was feeding Ds a few days old. He bent down, I think to kiss baby, not realising I was feeding, then jumped back & said sorry, I thought that, (my breast), was his head! 😆. I was so shocked watching it all unfold, I couldn't think of anything to say as he was walking towards me! 😆

You made my day! I hope he actually didn't manage to kiss it

I accidentally shot milk at someone once which resulted in them panicking and shouting "Oh Shit".

I had a very powerful letdown and an over supply of milk so when DS started it was like a hose pipe being turned on. A group of older women were sitting at the table next to me and were chatting away to him which distracted him and he turned his head. Next thing I know I was firing milk at them and couldn't do anything about it.

Breastfed two babies to over a year and fed absolutely everywhere - buses, tubes, planes, shops, concerts, cafes, park benches, fields, you name it. I’ve never had a single comment from anyone! Tbh where I live in London everyone breastfeeds so it’s a very common sight.