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Original poster

Things said to you while breastfeeding in public, good and bad!

100 replies

Tryingandhoping2020 · 04/01/2022 19:59

I've never had anyone say anything negative personally, but curious to see if anyone else has? I have fed in all sorts of places including a beachfront bench and the shoe section of Primark 😂

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MarshaBradyo · 04/01/2022 22:04

Generally people are chatty to me in life but I can’t recall any comments good or bad about bfding

55mirabeau · 04/01/2022 22:06

Nothing negative for me either, bf no1 to 9 months and still going with no 2 who is 2. Especially with no 2 I fed anywhere and everywhere.

Once got a glass of water bought over to me in a cafe, nothing said, just a big smile. It was lovely as a nervous first time mom getting to grips with things.

CeeceeBloomingdale · 04/01/2022 22:08

No comments either way in four years of cumulative BF

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Siuan · 04/01/2022 22:11

" The toilets are over there"
I was on a bench in a children's theme park in 1998.

Imamumgetmeoutofhere · 04/01/2022 22:13

You have all been so lucky with the lovely comments

I tried with both of mine but eldest was 9 weeks early due to preeclampsia so never got the hang of it (me due to the meds I was on and them being so tiny) and my youngest I managed 6 weeks until I'd had 2 bouts of mastitis and they had tongue tie so my nips were mashed.

Still feel I should have persevered but they are both healthy and I guess that's what's important

woodhill · 04/01/2022 22:17

@SunshineCake1

You'll have to sit in there to feed him. - Sainsbury's staff member pointing to the toilet.

You can't feed in here. We've had people complain. - Sainsbury's staff member in their cafe.

Yes Sainsbury's- when I asked about feeding in the 90s the toilet was suggested

Luckyelephant1 · 04/01/2022 22:17

Have never had any comments good or bad. Most people don't care or don't notice. It's really lovely to read these positive comments though.

You get influencers on Insta making out that they get negative comments every time they breastfeed in public so they can jump on the 'normalise breastfeeding' bandwagon. IMO it already is normal and having to shout about it actually makes it seem less so. I'm pretty sure they lie about these comments. Sure you may get one arsehole here or there that says something negative but the majority just don't care or carefully avert their eyes to give the mum some privacy rather than averting them because they're offended!

sqirrelfriends · 04/01/2022 22:18

I've had looks from strangers but no comments. From family members and friends I've heard all sorts ranging from "do you feel like a cow?" to "its going to make your boobs saggy" and also "formula is the same you know"

One lovely comment was from an elderly lady in a cafe. She said seeing me feeding DS reminded her of her own time as a new mother.

CatOfTheLand · 04/01/2022 22:22

The HCP doing my dc's one year check up told me I could continue to breastfeed "but you'll be the only one" feeding a baby that old. Told her I was fine with that 🤣

DC1 was badly tongue tied and I had to bottle feed expressed milk while out in public because she'd refuse to latch. I got far more negative comments about bottle feeding (although it was expressed milk) then I ever did breastfeeding.

I feed dc2 a lot in the sling/carrier while pushing dc1 in the pushchair, so sometimes get funny and positive comments about that if I'm going up one of the many giant hills near our house 🤣

DappledThings · 04/01/2022 22:24

IMO it already is normal and having to shout about it actually makes it seem less so.
Absolutely this. There was a small movement a few years ago, when I was still breastfeeding, where women who were doing so in public were handed cards congratulating them. If I'd been handed such a card I would have swung between confusion and anger about why I was being congratulated for something so pedestrian. Nobody hands out cards for changing nappies or ensuring adequate blankets covering the baby on a cold day. I don't see bf as anything different.

Marcipex · 04/01/2022 22:27

‘You’re weird’ said by another mother at a toddler group. Everyone else laughed, including the people running the group.

NaturalBlondeYeahRight · 04/01/2022 22:28

I’ve only had one from a male work colleague (gone back to show baby off) who was only a few years older than me AND had a newborn of his own. Said ‘shouldn’t you go to the loo to do that’
He really caught me off guard - I fed everywhere and in front of everybody. So I just gave him a confused glare. 21 years ago and it still bugs me. Everyone else positive and I try to encourage new mums who look a bit nervous (it’s not that noticeable though as a general rule)

StruggleStreet · 04/01/2022 22:28

The only comment I’ve ever had was from my friends 5 year old who noticed me feeding DD and shouted ‘why is the baby eating your booby!’ 😂
He was quite horrified when his mum told him that’s what’s he used to do when he was a baby.

GeneGenie123 · 04/01/2022 22:35

Only ever positive and friendly comments. I’ve got 3 kids and breastfed for 8 years (on and off). I’ve had a few odd comments from older friends, one of which never had her own children. She told me I could feed my child in the disabled toilet at an art gallery. I said, no thanks… the café will do nicely! She was surprised.
I also received a couple of negative comments from friends who chose to bottle feed. The assumption was that I was judging them, but actually they judged me thinking I was looking down on them. Of course I was very careful never to make any comment at all about their feeding choices. I always remained neutral as I know what a sensitive subject it is. That was hurtful.
Other than that I usually had positive comments when out and about. I loved the attention and friendliness a baby prompts from strangers.

VeganVampire · 04/01/2022 22:52

'is that normal?' While feeding my 8 month old in hospital - by one of a group of junior doctors!!! They hustled him out of the door before I had chance to pick my jaw of the floor

COL1N · 04/01/2022 23:00

I was feeding my dd in a chair in the sink part of the bathroom at a museum. A very grand, classy looking older lady walked up to me and announced 'its absolute disgusting... that they cant provide somewhere more comfy for you'. Made me smile 😊

hidingfromthemouse · 04/01/2022 23:01

Was struggling to get my newborn to latch in a cafe while having one of those big coverups as I just didn't have the confidence and a lovely lady came up to me and said can I get you a glass of water, I remember how tough the early days were. Will remember that kindness forever.

Bonnealle · 04/01/2022 23:04

Had some lovely comments from strangers when breastfeeding, also had some very judgemental comments when bottlefeeding (expressed breast milk- not that they’d know, or that it would matter if it was formula!). Now I have learnt not to listen to random strangers opinions on how to nourish my children!

Esspee · 04/01/2022 23:08

I travelled a lot while breastfeeding. I received quite a few positive comments from strangers, never any negative ones though I always did it discretely and had many conversations with people who did not seem to notice that baby was feeding.
Where I lived there was one husband and wife who thoroughly disapproved of me continuing to breast feed my sons after 3 months and commented on it constantly. Not that I did it in front of them, they used to ask, I happily said yes I was still nursing and they would go off on a rant. Pissed them off that I was still breastfeeding at 14 months.

KurtWilde · 04/01/2022 23:09

Breastfed my babies all over the place, and only ever had one comment and it was a negative one.

When I had DD1 my parents took us to the seaside for the day when she was about 6 weeks old. I was a young single mum and struggling a bit so it was a lovely treat. Went into a cafe and chose a table at the back, sat with my back towards the rest of the customers and started feeding DD. I was still getting the hang of latching her on and still quite self conscious. The waitress came to take our order, looked at me and said 'you can't do that here you'll have to sit in the toilet.' I explained I was being very discreet and no one could see what I was doing from the other tables. She said 'tough'. At that point my dad stood up and asked if she'd like to eat her dinner in the toilet, and we left.

Horrible experience but the next cafe on had no issues at all, and it I was determined not to let it put me off breastfeeding whenever and wherever.

toddybell · 04/01/2022 23:19

No comments. Ever. BF for more than 4 years (2 children).

toddybell · 04/01/2022 23:23

Actually, now that I think of it, the midwife doing my obs during an antenatal appointment when I was expecting my second told me how wonderful it was i was continuing to feed my toddler and that I should be proud of myself.

And...

When I was admitted to give birth to DC2, the lunch lady came in to clear away trays, etc. and pointedly stood there and said "you're still feeding" with an incredulous look on her face. I told her yes I was and how brilliant it was. She walked away shaking her head and muttering something under her breath.

Strawberry0909 · 04/01/2022 23:25

@AliveAndSleeping same here, happily feed ds2 in public , but feel odd in front of most people I know apart from couple female family members

toddybell · 04/01/2022 23:25

@buckeejit

Never had anything negative. Fil came really close when I was feeding Ds a few days old. He bent down, I think to kiss baby, not realising I was feeding, then jumped back & said sorry, I thought that, (my breast), was his head! 😆. I was so shocked watching it all unfold, I couldn't think of anything to say as he was walking towards me! 😆

😂😂

JakeyRolling · 05/01/2022 07:02

Not exactly negative comments but a lot of questions of "still feeding?" from my gran.

It was more ignorance on her part as she was part of the generation that had FF aggressively sold to them as more scientific and thus better.

It was also a class thing - only poor women breast fed.

My grandfather was my biggest champion against her though. He was ex-Navy and would talk about them feeding at five in India or in the Middle East they would cover their faces but expose their breasts to feed their child (not the exact wording he used as such, not out and out racist but a bit un-PC, for want of a better term)

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