Active discussions

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Original poster

Aibu to hate my baby sleeping in her own room?

77 replies

amidsummernightsdream · 31/12/2021 09:20

Sorry this is just more of a rant as I’m shattered. Tried to move my lo into her own room this week. She’s 8 months and too big for the next to me now.

It’s probably not the best time as she’s waking up lots for feeds in the night (i started another thread about this) and I’m continually up and down with a dummy, so I saw every hour of the clock but like I said she’s too big for the next to me now, so something needs to change.

The worst bit is the bloomin monitor. When she was next to me you’d hear the stirrings or her chatting away which would wake me gently. Now I just get woken by a loud electronic cry on the monitor, that wakes me with a start. I can never feel like i can settle.

I don’t know if I’m being unreasonable to feel so fed up with this. I miss her sleeping next to me, it was so much easier to see to her needs.

I’m not sure what the alternative is though. She’s outgrown the next to me. Cot too big to go in our room and definitely don’t want her to sleep in our bed. She ended up in our bed at 5 this morning and no one got very much sleep from then.

Am I being unreasonable to not like my baby sleeping in her own room and wish we could carry on using a next to me crib?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
Original poster
amidsummernightsdream · 31/12/2021 14:08

Yes! They all ended up on the floor, i couldn’t find them never mind her 🙈😂

More dummies it is if we try her room again!

OP posts:
Shehasadiamondinthesky · 31/12/2021 14:11

DS just had a normal cot next to my bed with the side down. I was a single mum and wanted to have him in my room. I'm pretty sure he started escaping from the cot at that age.

Chely · 31/12/2021 14:47

Not unreasonable. I hated it with all ours too, eldest co-slept most nights when too big for moses basket until 2 years. Others we have a bigger house and master bedroom. They had cot-bed in our room much longer and found the transition to their own rooms much easier. Baby is 4.5mth and will stay with us until we buy a bigger house with more bedrooms.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

6-9 months old Babies & sleep Children's sleep Families
LittleBearPad · 31/12/2021 16:44

You definitely need more dummies. I used to check they were within reach when I checked on them late at night.

However if this isn’t the time to change sleeping arrangements then don’t worry. She’s changed her sleeping pattern - she’ll do that again and you may find in a fortnight it’s all solved. Nothing is forever with babies

SimpsonsXmasBoogie · 31/12/2021 21:32

How long has she been having lots of night feeds? Has it been a couple of weeks? Because at her age it's probably a growth spurt, so it should only be temporary.

Maybe wait until this growth spurt has passed and then move her. She's getting to the age now where she might not need night feeds for much longer.

NotVictorianHonestly · 31/12/2021 21:37

It's completely biologically normal to want your baby close by. Buy a compact crib and put it in your room, or set up a bed in her room perhaps? Find something that makes you happy. Mines 21 months and I still can't bear to sleep in a different room.

cheezandbeanz · 31/12/2021 21:43

I would definitely give cosleeping a go

Takes a bit of getting used to but you'll get much more sleep that way.

Original poster
amidsummernightsdream · 31/12/2021 21:46

Thanks @SimpsonsXmasBoogie it has been getting worse over the last month. Before that, she was a great sleeper and slept through 50% of the time or just woke for 1 bottle and straight back off. The last week she has been taking almost all her milk at night eg last night she had 17oz over 3 bottles and today she’s barely touched her milk (about 6oz) so hope you’re right!

OP posts:
SimpsonsXmasBoogie · 31/12/2021 21:56

@cheezandbeanz

I would definitely give cosleeping a go

Takes a bit of getting used to but you'll get much more sleep that way.

But that's not true for everyone. I tried really hard to make co-sleeping work because of people telling me it was the best way and that we'd all get more sleep, but it was simply awful. I've never slept so badly in my life, and it took my baby much longer to fall asleep in my bed with me than it did for her to fall asleep in her own room. I think she's just someone who needs no other stimulation in order to be able to sleep.
Original poster
amidsummernightsdream · 31/12/2021 22:24

Ye i don’t think co sleeping is for us. We did try it in the early days when i was breastfeeding but we didn’t get much sleep.
Plus now she’s older, she does really does prefer sleeping independently from me. She arches her back and wants to be put down on her own. And as much as i love holding her hand in the night or stroking her tummy if she needs it, i really wouldn't like her in the bed

OP posts:
Ohyesiam · 31/12/2021 22:27

It’s not compulsory. We Co slept with ours for years, had a double and a single mattress on the floor

HelloBunny · 31/12/2021 22:32

I found it easier to sleep in with the baby. When he stirs, I’m there. If he was in a cot, he’d wake multiple times. I also prefer to go to bed early with him (about 9pm) rather than have a monitor.
He’s 18 months now, so we’ll be trying the cot soon. But, I’ll miss being close to him... DH will be glad to have me back in our bed though! (no doubt the baby will follow me)

pollyparrot45 · 31/12/2021 22:33

& this is why my two year old is asleep next to me in my bed.

Just co-sleep.

If you can get them to sleep the first part of the night in their own bed it means you can have an evening etc

HelloBunny · 31/12/2021 22:40

Co-sleeping isn’t for everyone. I didn’t even plan to do it, just turned out that way. Like a lot of parenting stuff. I’m a light sleeper anyway, so I think I was suited to it. Baby sleep is never easy, hopefully you’ll find a groove that works!

Notwithittoday · 31/12/2021 22:44

Lol mine went in her own room at this age and I followed her in Grin Got a single bed and put it in there next to her cot. She’s 15 months now and I don’t spend as many nights in there because she sleeps better. I don’t think it’s a straight transition for that many people.

teaandchocolate1 · 31/12/2021 22:50

My son is 17 months old and still sleeps in our room. We have no intention of moving him anytime soon, to us it feels natural to have him close.

He has his own cot bed in our room. We sleep very well this way.

Wishihadanalgorithm · 31/12/2021 22:56

We kept DD in with us (in her cot) until she was about 16 months old. If you can get a small cot, then do keep your DD with you. I slept better having DD close to me than in her own room .

AliceTheCamelHasFiveHumps · 31/12/2021 23:07

DD is just turned 2. She sleeps in a floor bed in our room,and 9/10 joins us in the middle of the night.We get a few "oh.... haven't moved her yet?" comments from SIL. Life's too short. I fucking love the cuddles and waking up to her massive smile. I'll never regret it.

Runforthehillocks · 31/12/2021 23:18

We co-slept for years. I felt anxious having them in a separate room - like you, it felt counter-intuitive (because it is - no other mammal puts their babies away from them to sleep!). Do what others have suggested and organise a cot to be next to you.

NotVictorianHonestly · 31/12/2021 23:36

You can also side car a cot so that she has her own sleeping space but is right by you. If you go on the UK Cosleepers Facebook group you can search back and see all the clever setups people have to manage it when they have limited space yet want baby close by, but not in their bed.

user1471604848 · 31/12/2021 23:39

When my twins could standup in their Next2Me's, I bought travel cots with extra mattresses for my room. It meant they were still beside me when they stirred. At about 8 months I moved them to their own room with big cots.
They still (22-months) come into my room some mornings, and doze in the travel cots.

Ruthietuthie · 31/12/2021 23:42

You say it is "counterintuitive" and "impractical" because it is! You KNOW, deep down, how you want to parent your child -- that you still want her in your room - so keep here there!
I would move furniture around etc., to find a way to have a bigger"next to me" set up. You will all sleep better. What's the rush? There really isn't one.

Drunkpanda · 31/12/2021 23:45

There was no room for our cot (as in, there was literally room for the cot to go in but I had then to climb over the bed to get between wardrobe and chest of drawers.) We did it for a few more months, worth it not to do those walks in the night.

bedheadedzombie · 31/12/2021 23:56

I moved with my dd for a couple of months. Until I noticed that my presence was waking her up more. Still miss her in the night if I wake before she calls me (mine has no inclination of ever sleeping longer/ through).

I read somewhere on MN that back in the very old days they didn't exactly put babies in the next cave 😂😂😂. So I guess it's natural to want to her your children close to you.

Original poster
amidsummernightsdream · 01/01/2022 09:55

Thanks everyone. Just an update, lo went back in my room last night and slept in the next to me. She woke up twice to feed but it was no problem at all. She will have woken up for dummy also, but i genuinely don’t register those as wake ups. We had an infinitely better night and it has really helped me decide that she will stay in my room until the night wake ups stop or it doesn’t work for us.
She will be ok in the next to me for a week or so while we figure out another option where she can sleep next to me. Thank you very much to everyone that sent suggestions, I'm looking into all of them

OP posts: